Lost then Found
by Spikes KittyKat
Summary: Set after Season 2 episode 22. Buffy has to kill Angel in order to save the world. Unable to deal she runs away to LA to get lost in a new life. Meanwhile Spike takes Drusilla away who no longer loves him. He meets with Buffy's mum and agrees to find her.
1. Chapter 1: Hidiing

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A/N: Thank you to Ruth for the wonderful beta-ing job you did. This chapter is betaed.

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Chapter 1: Hiding

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Buffy Summers just couldn't bear her life anymore. Her mom believed she was a killer and DIDN'T believe she was a vampire slayer.

Angel was gone and it was all thanks to her. Jenny Calendar had been murdered, and Kendra was dead all because she had slept with Angel. Willow had lost her fish, Giles had been kidnapped and tortured, and the world had almost been sucked into Hell all because she, Buffy Summers, was alive. She shook her head realizing that all that had happened in this one year.

The previous year had been no better. Her first watcher, Merrik sacrificed himself to save her. She destroyed her school's gym and if that wasn't enough, she might have been the one to cause her parents' divorce. Sure, they were already fighting up a storm before Buffy told her parents about being a vampire slayer; after her announcement, Hell really broke loose between them. The stay in a mental institution was the icing on the cake. She was barely 17 and had pretty much ruined every life she touched. She should have just stayed dead after the Master drowned her but no, stupid Xander just had to bring her back to life again.

Buffy sighed when the bus stopped in Los Angeles and she stepped off taking with her only the small bag full of the few clothes she had packed. She had wanted to leave everything behind and at last she was alone. Alone was the safest way to be - no one could be hurt if they weren't near her. She sighed again and went about finding a place to stay.

Luckily, her vamp tinglies led her to a small vampire nest and Buffy cleared them out of the run-down little house figuring this would be a perfect place for her to stay. It was dusty, dreary, and worn out, and that fit her life right about now. She wished it would fall down on top of her so she wouldn't have to deal with anything. In the next room she found a blanket that was almost clean to cover her for the night and she curled up in a tiny ball on the lumpy bed, crying herself to sleep.

She wept for everything she had lost everything she had done and everything she wished she wasn't but couldn't ever change. She was the Slayer and the saying was true, "In every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the forces of vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer." The key word in that statement was ALONE and from now on, Buffy vowed as the tears still continued to fall, she would always be alone.

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Spike drove all day and into the night. Dru had woken up three times and every time he knocked her back out in order to stop her excessive cries. He was getting annoyed. They were now in Las Vegas and he was frankly tired of driving. Surely Nevada was far enough away from the Slayer. He was aiming for the mountains though in Colorado but for now, Vegas would have to do.

He went into the motel office to grab a key off the rack and at the clerk's protest, promptly drained him dry dropping the body behind the desk. Spike then lifted his dark goddess out of the car and carried her into the hotel room while he got some much needed rest. He'd come up with a better plan after a good night's sleep.

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Buffy woke up very hungry and since she was in an apartment she had taken over from the vampires, there was probably some food left. She dug in her pockets and found some money but not a whole lot. She knew she'd have to do something to survive but for now, she'd just see what was there. The date was still good on the bread she found on the counter, so the vampires couldn't have been here long. She opened the cabinets and found some soup cans, some crackers and a jar of peanut butter. She actually smiled at the peanut butter although it made her a bit homesick. She found a knife, spread some peanut butter on the bread thankful that the peanut butter sandwich meant she didn't have to spend her cash yet.

Noticing that at least the water was still turned on and she flipped a switch to discover the electricity worked too. Perhaps this wouldn't be such a bad place to stay after all. She walked around in the now lit house and braved opening the fridge, finding the contents untouched and still good. She helped herself to some juice and settled down in the living room to watch some television in an effort to get her mind off her horrible life.

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This is so not how Spike had planned his time with Dru. Anytime she was awake, she cried continuously about her precious daddy who was now gone. She had wailed about her grand-mum, when Angel had killed Darla but this was worse. Dru would scream and cry and beat her fists on Spike bitterly blaming him for her daddy's death. She would babble about missing her precious Miss Edith who had been left back in the factory. She just wouldn't stop so Spike had to keep her unconscious just to think. He couldn't even get her to feed. It seemed hopeless.

Spike's mind just kept going back to the whole scene and it was replayed in his mind. Seeing the Slayer backed into a corner with Angelus standing over her ready to kill her. 'I wonder if the stupid bint lived or if Captain Forehead actually got to kill her.' Spike checked on Dru noticing she was still out and knew she would be out for a while. So he went out to find her a treat, perhaps a child or two, and someone for himself. Then after a good feeding, they could get out of Vegas and find someplace less sunny to live if only Dru would stop her bloody crying long enough.

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Buffy wandered up and down the streets near her apartment. Well she called it her apartment but in reality it belonged to some dead person. She had spent some time cleaning up the place a bit to make it a bit more presentable but it would never be the same as home. She kicked a beer can that was on the sidewalk as she continued to walk. Gazing up at the moon that seemed so far away, Buffy longed for her family and friends and most of all, Angel. She couldn't get the memory of his haunting eyes out of her head looking at her so lost and confused and whispering, "Buffy, what's going on? Where are we? I don't remember." She'd had to kill the love of her life. She stopped and stepped into an alley where she collapsed to the floor and sobbed.

Still the scene played out in her head. "You're hurt…I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything is so muddled. Oh God..." She could still see the stone demon opening his eyes, can still feel Angel's arms around her, "What's happening?" She remembered touching his face, caressing his lips as she reassured, "Don't worry about it."

Buffy had known what she had to do at that moment and kissed him to take away her pain. Selfish as it was she couldn't help murmuring, "I love you." She could still hear him answer, "I love you too." She recalled how obediently he followed her instruction to "Close your eyes."

And then Oh God, the pain and horror on his face as she ran the sword through him! She was the sole cause of her whole life shattering, the sole reason she couldn't mourn properly! Her friends and watcher expected her to be strong, to save the world. She couldn't even seek the comfort of her home, of her mother's loving arms to hold her as she wept. She'd left that evening in spite of her mother's, "Don't even think about coming back!" She had no one. As she picked herself up off the floor, she thought for the second time in as many days that she was utterly alone. The Chosen One.

Buffy almost missed the soft growling deeper in the alley and she peered in that direction. There was a vampire staring at her, believing she was a poor lost girl. Well she WAS one but she didn't deserve to die, she deserved to stay alive and suffer and be tortured forever. Tempting as it was to just give up, she broke the leg off a chair from the garbage cans near her, and fired it into his chest, watching as he exploded into dust. Buffy felt a few more tears fall from her eyes and onto her cheeks as she thought about Angel. He didn't even get to explode into dust, but instead was sucked undead into Hell. Her soulmate, Angel, was suffering because of her. She walked home with her head down and her body shaking as she quietly sobbed. She stepped up the stairs and in the front door, collapsing in the entry and cried herself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2: How To Live With Your Actions

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A/N: Thank you to Ruth for the wonderful beta-ing job you did. This chapter is betaed.

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Chapter 2: How to Live With Your Actions

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Spike had found a man with two children still in strollers and had brought them to Dru. When he opened the door to the hotel room, he found it empty of all but her scent. Scowling at the family, Spike snarled, "Today looks to be your lucky day. Run along home and stay indoors at night!" With that, he shoved the man and the stroller out the door and took off after Dru, determined to find her.

He jumped over a car that was in his way still following the scent before it faded with the wind, urgent in his pursuit. How did she move so fast, hungry as she was and with the headache she must have after his repeated blows? Spike sniffed again and caught a trace of her coming out of a convenience store. Spotting the crowd of people shouting and crying, he figured she had just now fed. He chased her scent a bit further and then suddenly it vanished completely!

Spike kicked a nearby car so hard he had to hop up and down on the other foot, all the while cursing himself for feeling like a bloody ponce. All his effort to rescue Dru at the mansion, to have her love him again, and she just took off! He closed his eyes against the pain, just for a moment, then grabbed some innocent wanker walking by and drained him hoping to think more clearly. If Dru was pining for her daddy, wouldn't she probably return to Sunnydale? He headed back to the hotel to pack, dreading both the long drive and what he might find at the end of it.

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Buffy awoke on the floor of the entryway, her eyes hurting along with the rest of her. She sighed, and got to her feet, noticing she was also hungry. Realizing she hadn't eaten since yesterday, she made herself another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was tempting to have some soup with it, but decided it was better to save that for lunch, knowing that she needed to eat at least 2 meals a day. Sighing again, Buffy turned on the television and determined not to feel sorry for herself she found a Monty Python movie guaranteed to make her laugh. For some reason, it made her think of Spike, of all people.

Just as she was settling on the couch, she heard a scratching at the door. Seeing nothing through the glass pane, she cautiously opened the door to a cat. It graciously allowed her to pick it up, so she asked, "Do you live here, Kitty? Are you hungry? I have tuna." Buffy carried it into the kitchen and when she put it down the cat scratched at a cabinet door near the stove. Locating a bag of cat food inside, she brought it over to the two small dishes side by side on a mat. After pouring a little food into one bowl, Buffy took the second over to the sink and filled it with water, all the while watching the cat as it devoured breakfast. Following it into a laundry room she hadn't seen the day before, she noticed a clean litter box under a shelf holding laundry detergent. She shrugged and went back to the living room to watch the movie.

Shortly after she settled in, the cat jumped into her lap, and she stroked its soft fur. Although enjoying the comfort, she felt the need to warn, "It's dangerous to be around me kitty, but you don't know that, do you? Although, I guess you're lucky I'm here, because the vamps probably would have snacked on you today. Perhaps you're a lucky cat, then. Shall I call you Lucky? Do you like that?" Buffy smiled down at the snoozing feline, comforted by the purr as she returned to the movie.

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Spike was driving fast, muttering, "Bloody Slayer ruined my life! Shagging Peaches so he loses his soul and steals my girl!" He banged his hand on the steering wheel in frustration and frowned as it occurred to him, "Who am I kidding? Dru always had a thing for her daddy even before Buffy's little fling. Only reason she stayed with me is 'cause the poof got a soul shoved into him and left us. But it was perfect until Buffy came along!" He felt like hitting something as he slammed on the gas.

Spike's thoughts returned to Buffy remembering the fear in her eyes at being cornered by Angelus. He fumed, wondering why he was feeling a tad bit of guilt. He had lived up to his end of the bargain. He HAD! He cracked his neck and the muttering resumed. "Well, mostly. It wasn't like I agreed to take out Angelus for her, never said I'd save her life. I just agreed to keep Dru busy while she fought Angelus, and I did! It was her idea that we leave and never come back." He sighed then, reflecting, "Well, I sort of offered but that isn't the point. I wasn't obligated to do anything more than I did so why should I care what happened to her."

Spike allowed his anger and frustration with the unfamiliar twinge of regret to build up, gripping the steering wheel hard. It took every bit of control he had left not to rip it off in his fury. Growling through gritted teeth, he snarled, "That's why you don't make deals with the enemy! They end up weaving their pathetic way into your mind and guilt you for no reason. Bloody Hell!"

He rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. He fondly remembered a time when he would have just jumped into the fight and drained her himself, enjoying the power of her blood. What had possessed him to stick around, make deals with her, apologize for Angelus's actions, and worst of all, saving her damn mum from a random vamp? Well, he didn't really mind saving her mum—nice lady she was.

Then his thoughts bounced back to Dru. She'd needed healing, but that didn't mean he had to be all nicey-nice with the Slayer. He'd been so focused on his ripe, wicked plum for so long, he'd just now realized that Dru really didn't really care for him the way that he did for her. She seemed in fact bitter and determined to make him suffer because he had taken her from the mansion. She didn't seem to consider that Buffy was going to kill her because she'd bagged the other Slayer.

Spike lit up a cigarette hoping to calm his nerves for the long drive back to Sunnyhell. Of course, then his mind decided to play devil's advocate and remind him that his Black Goddess didn't want him, only her precious Daddy. He cursed again, and popped in the Sex Pistols, cranking the volume to take his mind off Dru, the Slayer and everything else waiting for him in that God forsaken Hell Mouth.

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Buffy had spent the time after her movie, eating a can of the soup and feeding Lucky. No longer hungry, she decided a shower to clean up and a change into a clean outfit would make her feel a little more like herself and less pathetic. She knew the food would soon be running low, and caring for Lucky meant needing cat food and litter, too. It naturally followed that perhaps it was time to find a job.

She stepped outside into the late afternoon and wandered down the street checking out the neighborhood. About two blocks along, Buffy saw a diner that, wonder of wonders, had a "Help Wanted" sign in the window. She was only 17 and had never worked before but waitressing couldn't be that hard to learn and besides, the sign said "No Experience Necessary". She took a deep breath and looked down at her outfit. The black skirt and white peasant blouse were simple but tidy, so she pushed the door open and hoped for the best.

The odor of old grease made Buffy's stomach turn but she sternly told herself "You don't have to eat it, just bring it to people who want it." With that she walked up to the counter and forced out in a cheerfully false voice, "Hi there. I'm looking for a job. My name is Anne."

The owner, a middle-aged man with a gray crew-cut and an apparent fondness for whatever he cooked in grease that came out from behind the counter and asked, "Ever waitress before?"

Buffy responded with a rueful shake of her head, "No sir, but I'm strong and I learn fast. And I really need a job" she added almost desperately.

He regarded Buffy closely, then nodded and asked, "Can you start immediately?"

Stunned, Buffy replied, "I guess so."

He said, "I'll give you a try. Locker 10 in the back has uniforms. Find one that fits you, and write your name on a blank nametag on the desk, and you can start as soon as you get changed. Payday is Friday. That suit you?"

Buffy nodded in disbelief, and went to start her new job.

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Spike grinned after mowing down the "Sunnydale Welcomes You!" sign and drove straight to the mansion. He found no Dru, who had definitely been there as all her stuff was gone, but her scent was recent. Frowning that his pursuit would soon be interrupted by daylight, he figured he'd rest in his old room until nightfall. He'd find his dark princess tonight and beat her until she stopped wailing about the damn wanker and started loving him back. He would win. He WOULD!

Spike stripped after ensuring he had an outfit for the next day in his old closet. It was uncomfortable being back in the mansion. His wheelchair was there taunting him, but at least Acathla had been removed, probably to a bloody museum. Muttering to himself as he climbed into bed, "Un-fucking-believable is what this whole mess is! It was supposed to be a simple thing, but I'm definitely paying the price for helping the Slayer." Thinking again of Buffy's eyes that awful night, Spike continued, "I think I'll stop by Buffy's mum's place tomorrow and see if the bint actually lived." With that he closed his eyes and fell asleep, not yet realizing how completely he had changed himself and his world through the truce with the Slayer.


	3. Chapter 3: New Beginnings

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Chapter 3 is Betaed. Thanks Ruth for the wonderful job!

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Chapter 3: New Beginnings

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Buffy returned home after an evening of work that had felt much longer than it actually was. She found Lucky curled up where she had left him as she ventured into the kitchen to make sure his dish was filled.

While at work, the boss had offered her a cheeseburger just as she was closing up. He had explained it was to be thrown away anyway and she had gratefully accepted it thinking it meant less money to be spent on food. Just as she was leaving, she had helped herself to a soda as well so she was now quite satisfied.

Wearily, she took off her boots to let her feet relax and plopped them up on the table as the cat prowled over to sit on her lap. Whether it was fatigue or just that her emotions were still so close to the surface, Buffy's thoughts drifted back over the events of the last several days. She looked down at Lucky, stroking his head and started to speak aloud, "Lucky, I'm the Slayer. You know what a slayer does? Of course not, most of the world has no idea what I do. Well, I slay vampires and demons. I'm supposed to save the world and protect people, but instead people die because of me. How is that saving the world, Lucky?"

Lucky continued to purr in her lap giving no response to anything Buffy was saying but she wasn't discouraged and continued, "I'm even nervous about keeping this job. I lied to the boss and told him name is Anne. Well it's not a total fib, but my middle name is not who I am. The thing is, I just can't deal with being Buffy right now. She's the Vampire Slayer and I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be done. I want to retire and live a normal life. Why can't I just be normal? If I were, I wouldn't be responsible for Merrik's death, and Kendra and Jenny would still be alive. Maybe if I'm just Anne who works at a diner I won't be dangerous to people anymore."

Buffy sighed, refusing to think on it anymore and not wanting to even touch the subject of Angel so she flipped on the television. Finding some old show that her mother used to watch, Buffy determined not to cry again. She was Anne now, not Buffy, Anne who lives in a house with her cat and works in a diner in L.A. This was her new life damn it and she was going to live it. No more slaying for this girl. She felt a little comfort with that statement as she curled up grabbing the blanket. Buffy rested her head on the back of the couch to watch the television until she fell asleep.

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Spike awoke disoriented and a little panicky at finding himself in the mansion. He breathed a deep sigh of relief at realizing he was still able to walk and not back in the days of Angelus and Dru shagging virtually in his face. He dressed, vamp senses conveying it was indeed nighttime already and he would have hours to find Dru and make her love him again. Hopefully by sunrise he would be fucking her silly and he would have the unlife he wanted. He checked all their old haunts but couldn't get a trace, so he headed over to Willie's. Ordering a Jack and a nice glass of warm O Neg, Spike chatted up the locals to see if they had heard anything of Dru. Luckily, Willie had gotten word and with a little persuasion and a spot of violence, he finally spilled the news. Dru had arrived in town just last night with a Chaos demon and they'd raised Hell with the Slayer no longer around. At that point, Spike grabbed Willie by the front of his shirt and roared, "She's gone?! Is she dead? How did she die?" Buffy was HIS slayer to kill, dammit!

Willie shrugged his shoulders carelessly, and no one else in the bar seemed to know anything. Dropping the bartender, Spike knocked back his drink and made off to hunt for Dru, "It's high time my Dark Princess came home to her Spike."

He spent almost 2 hours searching for Dru to finally locate her. She was unliving with a nest of vampires and the dripping-antlered Chaos Demon in an abandoned warehouse by the docks. Spike was tempted to just stake everyone in the place and pull the limbs off the Demon at the way Dru was cooing over him and completely ignored Spike's pleas to come away with him.

Feeling his entire world collapsing around him, Spike finally understood; Dru had well and truly moved on to other things. She had about 20 vamps (two of whom had clearly been created as sex slaves), a new demon to fuck and 100+ years of his love and devotion meant fuck-all to her. In spite of the intense pain, he still didn't want her dusted, so he advised her, "Dru, get out of town. Promised the Slayer we wouldn't come back here and if you know what's good for you, you'll disappear."

For the first time in the 20 minutes Spike had been standing there, Dru looked his way and sing-songed, "We are going to dance in the rainforests with the monkeys. You will not eat cakes with us in the dark anymore." Then she turned to her doll and instructed her, "Miss Edith, say goodbye to Spike, we won't be having tea parties with him anymore. He will be walking with the sunshine soon."

Spike twisted the head of the vampire nearest him and just as he was about to dust another one, Dru turned to him again. Dancing gracefully in her white dress, she continued, "My Dark Prince is not mine anymore. He will belong to the Sunshine. My devoted Black Knight must now leave me and find his rightful place with the Sunshine. You should have never left the sunshine my love…" She laid her hand against his cheek and he could feel the chill from just that gesture. He had once thought love would always keep them together but now he understood they would never have that again. Sadly he watched as she continued her ranting, "Go back to your sunshine Spike." As Spike looked on confused, Drusilla spoke again gently, "Go find your slayer. She needs you as much as you need her." She smiled sadly as Spike studied her dark eyes, "You no longer need your dark goddess. Goodbye my love." And with that, she gave him a gentle kiss and turned back to sit on her demon's knee leaving Spike with no choice and no hope. Heartbroken, he turned and left.

Brushing off the dust from a random vamp he'd staked while wandering aimlessly, Spike looked up and found himself at the Slayer's mum's house. Seeing a light back in the kitchen, he knocked on the front door. He heard her call, "Just a moment!" as she proceeded towards the door.

Then the door opened and Joyce stood holding her robe closed as she said in a quiet voice, "Is Buffy with you?" Spike shook his head and she surprised him by saying, "We never properly met. You and Buffy were busy at the time. I'm Joyce. I was just about to make some hot cocoa, would you like to come in and join me?"

Gobsmacked, Spike followed Joyce into the house and before he knew it he was pouring out his heart. "Why did I come back here? Or why didn't I just knock Dru out and take her with me when I found her again?"

Gently, Joyce pointed out, "What would be the point if you have to keep her knocked out forever."

Ruefully, Spike acknowledged, "She made it clear she didn't want me anymore." At Joyce's sympathetic expression, he continued, "But why was she going on and on about sunshine? What the hell does that mean? Don't plan to be taking any daylight strolls any time soon! Not ready to dust yet, even without Dru. Dru's off her rocker, she is…" As he trailed off, Spike realized Joyce had gone quiet. He remembered Dru's comment about Buffy needing him. "Have you heard from Buffy at all?" he inquired.

She shook her head saying, "Wait here," and she left Spike alone with his cocoa.

It finally brought home how kind and trusting Joyce really was. She'd invited Spike into her house, knowing what he was, and comforted him with hot chocolate and conversation. She had no idea what horrors existed in the world around her. In that instant, Spike decided she would forever be under his protection and before he left tonight, he would warn her never to invite anyone else into the house. Last thing this lady needed was to show that courtesy to Darla or Angelus.

Spike was suddenly angry at how Buffy had put her mum at risk. The lady knew nothing and was a victim waiting to happen. He sighed as Joyce came downstairs and handed Spike a letter. It read:

Dear Mom,  
I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I ruin everyone's life and I'm a hazard to be around. I'm supposed to be the chosen one but all I do is bring pain to people I care about. I have to go away for a while. I'll be back someday I'm sure. I really do love you mom. Take care of yourself.  
Love, Buffy  
PS: Please don't invite anyone in.

Spike handed the letter back to Joyce and said, "Mind what Buffy said, Mum, about the not inviting people in. Other vamps aren't as nice as me." Horrified at what he'd just admitted, he backpedaled, "I'm not nice! I'm evil!" Joyce hid a smile at that. "But I like you, would never hurt you. I'm William, by the way." Astounded, he realized he meant all of it. He had always had a soft spot in his heart for his mum and Joyce reminded him of her. He felt a gentle pull on his heart that he hadn't felt in a long time.

Spike suddenly recognized he truly wanted to help this woman so he asked, "Want me to see if I can find Buffy?"

Joyce stared at him and said with a pleading voice, "Would you?"

Spike nodded, "I'll do my best. Thanks for the cuppa, Mum."

Smiling kindly, she replied, "Anytime William. Anytime."


	4. Chapter 4: Where to Start

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This chapter is betaed! Thanks for your hard work Ruth!

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Chapter 4: Where to Start

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Buffy got up and went to work the next day. The Boss had scheduled her for a 7 to 5 shift, which included a free lunch as well as free drinks throughout her busy day. If she wanted, she could return at 10 when the diner closed to take a free dinner of any of the day's specials as there were often enough to fill a plate still at the end of the day. She worked hard waiting on customers of all ages, seeing more people than she had in her lifetime. The diner was constantly busy which caused her to be on her tired feet all day long. She found herself thankful that she had brought along boots instead of high heels.

The Diner's red and white outfit was kind of uncomfortable and clashed with her hair color but still it was honest work and would pay off when she got her first paycheck on Friday. The boss was a fair boss and seemed nice but was far from perfect. Her coworker Joanne was older and was a no nonsense kind of lady but that was fine by Buffy. Buffy just wanted to be kept busy which helped her not to think of home. She refused to think of Angel or her friends. She would not cry no matter what happened to her. She was brave Anne with no past and working at the diner as her future. She would just have to get used to that now.

Near the end of her shift, the boss requested she stay another few hours until closing, offering her five hours overtime in exchange. She had nowhere to go, so she agreed. The last five hours of her shift were very long. By the end of the day, her feet were killing her, her back hurt and so did her muscles. She frowned realizing she must be getting out of shape. Perhaps she should do some simple training tonight just so that she could keep up her figure. That was Buffy's logical reason anyway. She mused, 'Even Anne needs to stay in shape. Never know what baddies are out there in the world trying to prey on innocent teens.'

Buffy sighed grateful that the end of the day had come as she flipped the closed sign on the restaurant door and grabbed herself a plate of the daily special, chicken pot pie, before tossing the rest out. She yelled to the back, "See you later, Henry" before heading out of the door.

As she was walking she felt tingles and sighed thinking, "Just my damn luck. I'm Anne not Buffy anymore." She was tempted to ignore them but noticed the street was empty for once which was never a good sign. She reluctantly entered the dark alley recognizing it the same dark alley she had cried in her first night here. She frowned knowing that it appeared to be a place that vampires frequented as she quietly prowled for the vampire after breaking off a second leg of that chair.

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Spike was determined to find Buffy and wandered around town trying to use his contacts in Sunnyhell to see where Buffy might have gone. He checked Willie's since he always seemed to have the news. After listening in on conversations and asking a few questions, he realized the rest of the town assumed she was dead. They were all discussing how much the death toll had risen and how the vampire families of the town were on the rise.

Spike was thankful that he did manage to get in a spot of violence while he was there which calmed his nerves a little. A green scaly demon had laughed at him for asking where the Slayer was saying the bitch was dead and good riddens to her. Spike had felt the effects of hearing about her death immediately and had roared at the demon and twisted his head clean off his neck. This had started a bar fight that quickly included a green scaly demon who was the mate to the demon he had just offed and a vampire who had been sitting with them. They jumped into the fight to avenge the wrongful death of their family member. The demon was strong and very angry, managing to give Spike a black eye as well as a bruise on his left leg before he was killed. Spike easily had taken out the vampire leaving a trail of dust behind him. Willie was pissed at the broken table and chair left behind by the rumble but he'll get over it.

Before leaving the bar, Spike told the rest of the demon world that the Slayer was his if anyone happened to see her. After watching Spike kill the demons and vampire, no questions were asked and no one seemed willing to dispute it.

Spike spent that night checking two more demon bars as well as some local vampire nests all looking for information about the Slayer's whereabouts without any luck. It seemed hopeless because the replies were almost always the same, "This town has no Slayers anymore. It's a free town." The only ones who didn't believe this, were Buffy's friends who called themselves the Scoobies.

While Spike was wandering through a cemetery checking out local haunts, he overheard the wolfboy talking to his witch saying that they believed Buffy was still alive out there somewhere just healing before returning to school. This made Spike realize that it was obvious that no one in Sunnyhell had heard from her. Spike sighed discouraged as he recognized that staying in Sunnyhell was getting him nowhere. At this rate, Joyce would never see her daughter again.

Spike started thinking, 'If Buffy wanted to get away, she probably wouldn't stay by the Hell mouth. She would go someplace far away, someplace where she knew she could make a new start.' Spike returned to his car as he thought about where she might go. Suddenly he had an idea. The rumor was that she was from L.A. so chances are high that she'd run there. Surely heading to LA. would be a better place to start than to deal with this fucking town that knew nothing. Spike got into his Desoto and took off into the night heading to L.A. figuring that was the best place to start.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Buffy dodged a kick from the vampire turning to the girl who had been the vampire's dinner and shouted loudly, "Run!" Buffy was pissed off and kicked the vampire to the ground muttering loudly as she did, "I was just trying to get away from my duties. I went away to a huge town to get lost instead of living on the Hell mouth where you guys tend to flock. I've done enough damage with my life that I just wish to be left alone. I want to live in a peaceful little house where I work at a diner for a living and worry about the lifespan of my cat. I don't want to be sitting here kicking your vampire butt in a city I should be a tiny speck in. I want to be normal Anne damn it. Not Buffy the Slayer."

Her voice trailed off as she heard the vampire question, "Ssslllaaayyeerr?" Just then two more heads popped out of the trashcans all questioning her with, "Slayer?"

Buffy screamed, "Can't I just be normal, damn it?"

One of the vampires ran away but the other came over to help his friend quickly jumping into the fight. Buffy wasted no time in dusting the vamp on the ground instead of continuing to vent and spun around to kick the other vampire's butt. Buffy looked confused as she knocked him to the ground and as he got up, slammed him into the wall behind him demanding, "Where's your friend?" The vampire shrugged not really looking concerned as he admitted, "He wasn't much of a friend anyway. Was more of a coward."

Buffy nodded, "Well at least he lives then."

With that she kicked him in the head and dodged a kick he made by jumping over his leg and she threw the stake at him, "I'm Anne not some Slayer!"

With that she dusted off her diner outfit frowning at the dirt and grim now on it and sighed muttering to herself, "Now I have laundry to do again."

She wandered back to her apartment where she found Lucky sitting in front of the door waiting for her. She picked Lucky up and hugged him tight to her chest and refilled his food dish, "I'm sorry Lucky about how long I was gone today. I hope you weren't too hungry but we can eat together. I have a plate of potpie to eat that is now officially cold thanks to some mean ol' vampire."

Buffy frowned as she watched as the cat happily ate his food and ate her cold potpie thinking, 'My life royally sucks.'

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Meanwhile Spike was driving the 6 hours it took to get from Sunnyhell to L.A. cursing his life. 'Why do things have to get so complicated? All I wanted is to settle down with my Dru and live my unlife happily ever after. But no, here I am helping out the Slayer's mum, trying to find the Slayer to make sure she's safe and I find myself actually worrying about her safety. Bloody Hell! I even beat up a demon that spoke badly about her announcing to Willie's bar that she was mine. I am a bleeding ponce. I should just walk out into the sunlight when I get to L.A. and just end my unlife.'

Spike sighed and muttered, 'I hope Dru is at least happy with her minions and demons. She deserves happiness even if I'm not meant to give it to her. I still don't understand the part of the sunshine. Perhaps she really thought I'd go dust myself. I might threaten myself with that but I won't really do it. I don't have a death wish. If I am going to die, I'm going to go out fighting like a master vampire should. I am William the Bloody and I will go out in style. Hmm why am I talking about dying? I don't plan to die again. What I do plan to do is find Buffy and drag her cute ass back to her mother and figure out how to…Actually I don't know what I plan to figure out but I'm sure it will be good once I do. Damn it, I need music.'

With that he put in the Ramones tape and began to sing.


	5. Chapter 5: Lost

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Now Fully betaed. Thanks Brittany!

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Chapter 5: Lost

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Buffy dressed in her freshly washed uniform, gave her cat a hug and put her on nametag. She was the brave Anne who was quiet and normal. It would be the story of her life. She tried not to think of anything as she refilled the cat dish, grabbed a piece of bread and frowned noticing she had only two little pieces left. That should be enough for two more breakfasts or one dinner. She realized that she would need to visit the grocery store soon though. It was Wednesday, only two days until she received her first pay check. She would just make a point to eat what she could from the diner, then Friday after work she would stop by convenient store she saw and grab some food. She was surprised to find that she had been in L.A. almost 5 days now.

She had been working at this job three days now and it was going well. Her feet always hurt and her back always ached but she didn't mind it as much as she expected. The job kept her busy and it helped her not think about Angel or her home.

She slid on her boots and walked out into the sunlight. She missed her relaxing days in the sun but she couldn't think about that. She was Anne with no past and who worked in a diner as a future. She just had to accept it.

She opened the door to the diner and flipped over the 'Open' sign and started to fill the sugar and cream containers to put on the tables. She didn't hum, didn't whistle but accepted the silence as she worked. She refused to think or feel anything as she just wanted quiet and to be left alone. She wanted to escape and working as Anne was helping. She felt like she had nothing to live for as Anne which was better than thinking she had something to live for as Buffy. She welcomed the first customer of the day as a way to keep her mind clear of any unwanted thoughts.

Being her third day on the job, she had gotten into a routine. Every day was the same thing. She would help about twenty customers in the morning, take a lunch break during the 11:30 to 11:45 change from breakfast to lunch and then work until 5. As she helped the next customer, she realized they returned day after day as well.

Her boss walked by her saying again, "Can you close tonight? It's another 5 hours of overtime."

Buffy nodded thinking again of how she had nothing to do and working until she dropped was better than watching television and run the risk of thinking. She collected the money, pocketed the tips and attempted some false smiles to those who insisted she gave them. Mostly she just followed the steps she had to give. No one cared about her here and that is how she figured life should be. She shook her head refusing to think such thoughts before refilling someone's soft drink

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Spike drove into L.A. turning down his music to glance around the city. He banged the steering wheel as he realized it was still very light outside. He had driven through the night and had refused to think and was amazed he had managed to get here in one piece since he was relying on autopilot. He knew he needed to find somewhere safe to bunk for the day and to park his car. In the back of his head, there was a nagging feeling that no one would want his car. It had blackened out windows and was very old but still, a bloke can never be too careful in the big city. He drove along a while shaking his head at all the people in this city before he finally found the place he and Dru had frequented when they had stayed in L.A. quite a few years ago. It was still around a few months ago when they had driven through L.A. on the way to Sunnyhell so he figured it would still accept him. He drove his car into the shaded area as to not draw attention to himself and grinned as he grabbed a bloke who was walking past and drained him quickly. 'Nothing like fresh blood before bed', Spike smirked as he stood in the shadows between two buildings. Having finished his meal, he dropped the man's body behind a dumpster knowing they wouldn't find it for days.

Spike then knocked on the door and he could hear rustling inside and someone yelling, "Go away."

Spike yelled, "It's William the Bloody looking for a safe place to take a rest. Open up!"

A small vampire opened the door and peeked out. He was wearing some trousers and a bright plaid shirt. He adjusted his clothes that were very much outdated as he questioned, "Got anyone with you? Where's your girl?"

Spike shrugged not bothering to explain, "Didn't need her" and he pushed his way in grumbling and grabbed the couch pushing some younger vampire to the ground in the process. The younger vampire peered at him but left the room. The small vampire shrugged saying nothing about his houseguest, and disappeared up the stairs leaving Spike alone.

Spike looked around realizing this place hadn't changed at all. He had brought Dru here a few months prior when he had first entered Sunnyhell. Dru had insisted on staying with the locals even though Spike said they could have a place in any hotel. He sighed missing Dru a bit. She had been a good companion when she wasn't on a crazy rant. She was always smiling and happily proclaiming that the world was always all right with her even when it wasn't with him.

He rolled over as his thoughts changed to the Slayer. She was cute, especially when angry. She definitely had spirit that he had never seen in a girl before. He knew that from that first meeting where she had confidently thrown away her weapon and wasn't afraid to fight. She also didn't cry when he was about to drain her and always had a come back. He should have known she would survive Angelus. She was resourceful, smart and a real beauty. Fighting with her had always gotten him so hot and it got her hot too. He could always catch the scent on her even though he knew bloody well that she would never admit it.

He wondered if all vampires turned her on or just him. Well obviously Angel had done the trick since she had slept with him after all and had caused all this mess. But he could hardly blame her since she was young still, barely 17. The big Poof should have known about that clause. It was his duty as a vampire. If it were him, he'd have done tons of research, not banished himself to some sewer drinking rat guts. .

Spike let out an unnecessary deep breath feeling the strain that driving for 8 hours with no rest had on his body. He had a busy night ahead of him tonight and decided he really needed his rest. Tonight he would find the Slayer.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Buffy worked hard until closing. She was happy to see the last customer leave as she pushed her hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her face. As she was about to throw away the food for the night, she saw there was some fish and chips left from their daily special. She was so ready to go home but wanted to ask her boss if he wanted anything before she tossed it so yelled to her boss who was in the back office, "Mind if I toss the special?"

There was no answer so Buffy thinking he was just immersed in his work, approached the back office where Henry usually sat. As she peeked in, she observed that the office was empty. Just then her ears detected voices in the back of the diner. She was curious as she quietly crept towards the back door to investigate. She stood in the shadows so no one would notice her as she watched Henry stood interacting with an unseen person.

Buffy watched as Henry pleaded with such intense desperateness in his voice, "I'll get you the money. The Diner is making money; it's just not enough. I have about $5,000 now and I can get more."

The two guys stepped into view grabbing Henry and the taller of the two men stated, "You owe us $15,000 more. Not $5,000. We were sent to get $15,000 not $5,000."

The red head man grinned glancing at the taller man, "Let's beat him up for the rest."

The taller man with brown hair grinned, "Good idea!" and he threw a punch and hit Henry in the face hard.

Henry brought his hands up to the men's faces folding them together as though he was praying as his voice sounded even more desperate, "No. Please. If you kill me, then I can't get you more money. I need my little girl. Please…"

Henry's voice trailed off as he grunted loudly slumming against the wall as the red headed man kicked Henry in the stomach and re-lifted him up by the neck.

Buffy fidgeted with a soft sigh knowing she had to step in. Henry didn't look in that great of shape and the other two men seemed to think that beating him to death would get them something somehow. She leaned down picking up a wooden cane that had been placed against the wall by Henry and silently snuck up behind the red head. Before anyone could notice her much less respond, Buffy whacked the red head over the head to knock him out. She threw the cane aside as she grabbed the brunette, shoving him up against the wall that had held Henry only moments earlier and demanded, "Where's Henry's little girl?"

The brunette tried to talk but couldn't because Buffy was holding his neck too tightly so she loosened up just a tad and he sputtered out, "Lawsen has her in the warehouse."

Buffy tried to make sense of this since she had walked into some kind of arrangement and only knew part of the story, "Why does he want the girl?"

The brunette glanced around as if he wasn't going to answer and Buffy readjusted her hold on him to show she meant business. He looked down at his friend who was still knocked out and stuttered slightly as he answered, "He needed money. She was just the vessel to get money."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she loosened the hold on the man's throat a little more, "Take me there and I'll let you live."

The man nodded as his brown hair fell into his eyes as Buffy loosened her hold on him but quickly grabbed his arm, twisting it behind his back to keep him from running away. She glanced back at the man on the ground and figured he would be out for a while. She grabbed the cane she had tossed aside thinking she might need it as she pushed the brunette forward saying, "Get going and make it fast. I don't have all night to play games." The man nodded and began to walk quickly as she followed behind him not releasing his arm.

In front of a large warehouse with blacked out windows, Buffy and the brunette stood. She took a look around not being able to tell anything from the outside. She pushed the man against the wall, "What will I find inside?"

He didn't even hesitate to respond, "Tons of children, Lawsen, a few of his minions, and I think that's it."

Buffy nodded thinking he was telling the truth as she loosened her hold on the man's chest as she offered, "This is your second chance at life. Make it a good one."

With that she turned listening to the feet of the man disappear out of sight before she busted the door of the warehouse open determined to make an entrance. She looked around as she walked right in ignoring the glares as she spotted a tall vampire who she guessed was Lawsen himself. He sat in the middle of the room on a large chair that reminded her of a throne surrounded by a few minions.

In the back room, she could hear the sound of children crying and screaming. She took a deep breath to steady herself and prepare herself for battle then looked up at Lawsen trying to meet his eyes as she stated in a loud voice, "A party and I wasn't invited?"

Lawsen glared at Buffy, noticing her for the first time "Who the Hell do you think you are?"

Buffy grinned liking the attention, "I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer and you are Lawsen I'm guessing."

Lawsen motioned to his minions obviously annoyed by the interruption, "Kill her. I'm tired of listening to her babble."

Buffy let out an exasperated breath as she proclaimed, "I'm not supposed to be slaying anymore! Doesn't anyone seem to care about that factor?"

The vampires did not as they rushed towards her and Buffy with ease, turned around in a fast circle dusting the minions within a few minutes. She straightened up her diner outfit and pushed her hair from her face as she stated in a fake whiny voice, "That wasn't even a workout."

Lawsen stood up rushing towards her and tripped falling at Buffy's feet, which she use to kick him in the head to knock him backward. She then stood over him with a foot on his chest holding him down holding her stake still in her hand, "Out of curiosity what did you want the money for?"

Lawsen looked surprised at Buffy and then grinned, "A new car."

Buffy laughed as she staked him, "All this for a new damn car? That's what loans are for!"

She then stalked over to the back door, kicking it open as she yelled to the children, "Go home and don't look back. Just run home."

She stepped back to watch as about 20 children ran exiting the room running in all directions. The room was filled with crying and screaming, which caused Buffy's head to hurt.

Buffy rubbed her temples to ease the headache that had formed still holding Henry's cane. She headed back to the diner and wasn't surprised to find Henry sitting on the ground outside the back of the diner still really shook up. She handed him his cane and offered him her hand to help him up. She looked into his red and tear-filled eyes as she stated with barely any emotion, "Your child is free and is home by now I'm sure. See you at work tomorrow."

With that she patted Henry on the back and without turning back, dusted herself off. She realized something as she headed back to her house; she was still the Slayer whether she was Buffy or Anne. She did well tonight. She gave herself a few minutes of reprieve to realize she did well and to understand that she couldn't run away from everything. She could run away to mourn and to be alone but she would always have to save people. It was her calling. She realized for a brief second that she was also lonely. She longed for someone strong to help her in her battles but shook her head refusing to think any further on that because it would lead to thinking of the vampire, Angel. She was thankful when she reached the door of her house, and opened it, leaning down to greet her cat, Lucky.


	6. Chapter 6: Lucky Breaks

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New Beta. Same one that did Power of a Wish. Thanks Brittany for all your hard work so far! More chapters to come.

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Chapter 6: Lucky Breaks

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Spike woke up giving a mock salute to the vamps as he headed out to search for Buffy. He had left behind some dust in the kitchen from a vampire who refused to move out of his way but he was quite sure, they would open their doors to him again anyway. Today was his lucky night he could feel it. He wandered the streets finding a guy pick-pocketing an innocent girl and drained him on the spot. He had no issues with draining innocent people but for some reason, knowing the people were evil, made the blood taste even better.

He wandered down the street, finding a big muscular man beating up a younger, skinny man, he drained him as well. He was feeling pretty strong and ready for some serious searching when he spotted a demon bar that seemed to be full of action. He could hear the loud music and smell the booze before he entered the place. As he glanced around the bar, he remembered going there with Dru before and figured it was a great place to start his search in L.A.

Before Spike had left the vampire nest earlier, he had taken the time to ask about the Slayer. No vampires seem to know anything about a slayer in town and they had laughed at his blonde hair, green eyes description of Buffy saying it fit about half the population. This had made his night start out discouraging but he was determined that he had the whole night to search and something had to turn up. He was feeling optimistic and eager to start.

He strutted into the bar, climbing onto a stool to appear cool and collected. He hoped it would get him the information he needed. He ordered a glass of O negative with a shot of Jack as he questioned the locals. He didn't really need the blood but wanted to fit in.

He drank a bit of the glass before asking "Anyone heard anything about a Slayer being in L.A.?"

The demons mostly ignored him or declared that they knew nothing. Spike felt discouraged until a demon approached him on his way out. He offered a suggestion, "There is a big vampire named Lawsen who knows everyone in town. If there is a slayer, he would know. He might have even offed her already. I suggest you start there. He resides in a large warehouse on the outside of town. If you take this road straight, you can't miss it. Good luck to you."

Spike nodded and thanked the demon waltzing out of the bar feeling a bit more confident. He got in his car keeping the volume down in case he needed to hear and drove to the front of a large warehouse where the demon had said Lawsen was staying. He sniffed the air not smelling anything but that doesn't always mean no vampires were there. He glanced at the opened door and let himself in finding the place empty. The place was covered with vampire dust but no live vampires. He realized he reached a dead end and kicked a dust pile in frustration.

He sat in a large chair in the center of the room to think of a new plan, "Dust means someone dusted these vampires. Could that someone be Buffy? Would Buffy dust vampires while running away? She'd be upset about killing the poofter and probably not up to her normal fighting self…."

He debated back and forth stating out loud, "Yes, Buffy's kind heart would cause her to dust vampires while hiding. I think this means I'm on the right track and in the proper city. Now I just have to find her since I arrived too late! Bloody Hell! Why am I always too late lately? First Bloody Dru and her running away and always getting there a few seconds too late and now in this warehouse with Buffy."

He pulled out a cigarette realizing he was wasting time sitting here in an empty warehouse. He took a drag of his cigarette as he frowned at the fact the sun would be rising soon. He had wasted his night without even realizing it. He took another drag of his cigarette before throwing it into a dust pile. He made a decision that he would just stay here for the day and start out fresh the following night. If he went back to the vampire nest now, he'd probably end up dust and be no use to Buffy or Joyce. He didn't fancy following Dru's idea of being one with the sunshine. He settled further into the comfortable throne-like chair to get some rest. His last thought before he drifted off to sleep was that he was glad he was getting closer to finding the missing bloody slayer.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Buffy woke up feeling rested as she hopped into the shower for a quick rinse. She felt clean as she climbed out and heard Lucky meowing reminding her, he was hungry. She refilled his dish noticing he had about two more days left of food. Watching the cat eat for a moment, she felt her stomach growl and reminding her that she was hungry. She took out the second to the last piece of bread smearing the jelly, which she had split in half for enough for tomorrow as well as some peanut butter. Things were getting tight but tomorrow was payday so she was not too worried. Since she had saved the owner from being robbed, she should still get a paycheck. She didn't want to think about that too much so she quickly walked into the living room removing her towel to change into her diner outfit. She adjusted her nametag as she leaned down giving Lucky a hug. She opened the back door a crack so Lucky could come and go as he pleased as she went out the front door. If Lucky really did wander during the day, he was always home at night to sleep with Buffy on the couch while they both fell asleep to the television. Buffy frowned as she really felt like an old lady with a cat. She shrugged it off realizing it was better than being Buffy.

She opened the door to the diner eager to start the day as she flipped over the open sign and started to fill the sugar and creams. Same thing everyday was good. She liked routines and enjoyed the fact that there was never anything new at work. The menu never changed except for the daily special, the orders never changed and most people frequented daily and ordered the same thing making her life easier. Sure she could do without the whole vampire slaying by night but that wasn't so bad. She was realizing that saving people made her feel good and it was great to work off some energy.

Henry interrupted her thoughts as he wrapped his arms around Buffy in a big hug. His voice sounded sincere and thankful as he squeezed Buffy a little not letting go of her,  
"Thanks Anne for your help last night. Not sure how you did it but she was home safe and sound. I owe it all to you."

He finally released her to hand her a big personal check for $5,000. Buffy looked down at the check curiously "What is this?"

Henry smiled proudly, "A thank you for saving my little girl. It is what I would have had to pay those creeps but you made them go away. So the money is yours if you want it."

Buffy shook her head as a few pieces of hair escaped from her ponytail. She handed him back the check back and quietly explained, "Just pay me my paycheck tomorrow. We will call it even."

Henry patted her back, "You're a good girl Anne. I hope you realize that."

With that he went back into the back office leaving Buffy to handle the first customer of the day.

It was a young girl who appeared to be the same age as Buffy. Buffy put on a false smile as she asked, "Can I help you?"

The young blond hair girl handed Buffy some quarters looking nervous as she asked, "Will this pay for a sandwich?"

Buffy looked at the collection of quarters and saw it did indeed equal a cheeseburger. She barely looked down at the girl as she nodded, "It will."

The young girl smiled at Buffy and replied, "Thanks, Anne."

Buffy didn't say anything as she headed back to the kitchen to hand in the order realizing she missed her name at times. When Henry had called her a good girl, it seemed weird to hear Anne attached to it. In fact it almost seemed like he wasn't even talking to her. Now this girl was doing the same thing. Buffy shook her head as she took a few more orders then heard the bell signaling the cheeseburger was finished. She looked at the girl as she handed her the cheeseburgers but said nothing. The girl looked up at Buffy meeting her eyes. Buffy could see the nervousness and embarrassment in them as she explained, "Money's tight. You're lucky to have a job. I'd give anything for a job. But for now, this sandwich is good. Thanks, Anne."

Buffy shook her head slightly as she went to help another customer with that girl still on her mind. In fact that girl stayed on her mind all day. Long after the girl was gone for the day, Buffy kept thinking about her. She didn't really feel pity per se but instead identified with her. That could easily have been her. She refused to think more on it as she flipped the sign to closed again after saying to herself, 'She was Anne and Anne wasn't lucky. She did own a cat named Lucky but she wasn't lucky and Buffy Summers definitely wasn't lucky.' She had stayed until 10 and closed again still not having anything better to do and thinking the extra money might come in handy if she was settling.

She picked up the tray of lasagna and filled a bowl with that and the leftover breadsticks, tossing the rest away as she yelled out back, "See you tomorrow, Henry."

He answered, "Thanks again Anne. See you tomorrow."

Buffy walked down the road in silence until she got to her apartment. She was so preoccupied with telling herself not to think that she almost didn't notice the door was opened and that Lucky wasn't there to greet her. She longed for a stake but settled for getting into fighting stance. Her mind was going crazy with panic as thoughts filled her mind, 'Did something happen? Am I responsible for my cat's death as well? Why do things always happen to me?'

Buffy entered the room quickly and turned on the light in her living room to find the girl from the diner sitting on her couch and Lucky was on her lap. She let out a sigh in relief at the fact there was no trouble until she realized a strange girl was in her house. She put her hands on her hips demanding, "How'd you get in here? How'd you know how to find me?"

The girl shrugged looking less nervous than Buffy was sure she felt, "Lucky break?" then the girl sighed, looking guilty as she admitted, "I saw you yesterday coming out of the diner. I was in the warehouse. I was taken originally thinking I was from a rich family but I'm homeless so not worth any money. I was supposed to be killed that night but you saved me."

Buffy realized she felt a bit of sympathy for the girl as she replied, "Lucky break for you then."

The girl nodded, smiling happily, "I'm Kim. You're Anne, right?"

Buffy nodded not wanting to say yes and lie to the girl and figured nodding was less of a lie.

Buffy let out a sigh realizing this girl didn't seem to be leaving any time soon so she would have to deal with her for now, "Like lasagna? I have a large amount tonight by chance. I was running low on bread and was worried I'd need breakfast. You are welcome to some if you want."

Kim smiled at Buffy replying in a chipper voice, "I'd love some."

So Buffy and Kim sat down, the cat sat between them, and they ate their leftover lasagna and breadsticks sitting in silence while the television played Grease.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Spike woke up and saw the sun was just setting so he set out into the night. He had perfect timing but knew that was vampire instinct more than luck. He stretched as he stood up frowning at the wrinkles in his shirt. His back ached a bit from sleeping in the chair all night. Usually he avoiding sleeping on chairs and preferred stretching out, even his car was often times better than chairs but last night he had little choice as the sun had risen without him paying attention to it. He glanced at the opened window in the main room of the warehouse and grinned. He knew the Slayer had to be close. She had to be close enough to have dusted this vampire nest in the last two days. He could still smell her scent of vanilla as he walked out of the door.

He heard his stomach growl reminding him he was hungry and saw a man running holding some money in his hand and decided to eat him since he didn't seem to be an upholding citizen anyway. He couldn't be sure but money was money after all. After draining the man dry and taking the $2,000 he was carrying, Spike set out wandering the streets. Buffy couldn't drive as far as he knew so therefore she had to walk everywhere. This would limit the amount of places she could visit. If she could walk to this place enough to dust the vampires, then she couldn't be too far away. This is what he told himself, anyway.

He wandered past a convenience store, two apartment complexes and finally found himself in front of a diner. As he peered inside the diner, he noticed it was closed for the night but he had a really odd feeling about the place. A voice in the back of his head told him that this place was important. He wandered around back wanting to find a way into the place only not knowing why. He heard the voice in his head speaking, 'Why do I want to get into this place? I can't figure it out. There's something about it though. Perhaps I have a craving for human food instead of just blood. Could be, I do enjoy it from time to time.'

His voices continued until he found the back door open and the scent of vanilla coming from the building. He knew that scent anywhere. Buffy had been in this diner within a few hours because the scent was so strong it was almost overpowering. He went around the front again and took a whiff and caught a very faint scent of vanilla so he continued sniffing as he wandered down the street knowing he was finally on the right track.

As he walked he thought, 'What will I say to her when I see her? She kind of told me to get out of town last time we talked. Then I sort of left her to almost get killed by Angel. But she's alive so she did well. Will telling her that her mum misses her work? Perhaps offering my help until she comes to terms with them to keep her safe is the best bet.'

Spike let out a deep breath even though he didn't need it, realizing he was in over his head. He was so lost in thought, when his nose finally picked up the scent, it was overpowering. He paused and glanced around where he was standing. He found a falling down building, which appeared to be condemned, or at least it should have been.

He found himself thinking, 'Surely Buffy isn't living in this dump.'

He tried the door, noticing it was unlocked and opened it. He tried to enter the door but found a barrier that suggests a human lived there and called the place home.

He roared at the barrier, "Buffy!" and quieted down as Buffy and another girl stood just inside the door looking at him and Buffy was holding some tabby cat with her green eyes wide and he heard the single word spoken softly, "Spike."


	7. Chapter 7: Story Time

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Brittany did her time during her vacation to beta this. Enjoy:)

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Chapter 7: Story Time

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Buffy and Kim were still watching the movie when Lucky got up off the couch and hissed at the door. Buffy noticed her neck started tingling, the same way it tingles when a master vampire is in the area. This tingling felt familiar but she shook her head thinking it couldn't be. Just then she heard a familiar roar at the door and she grabbed Lucky and Kim followed behind her as she saw the blonde-haired vampire at her door roaring her name. She stood in shock thinking, 'How did he find me and more importantly why is he here?'

Even with those questions pulsing through her head, she could only whisper a soft, "Spike?"

Kim looked at Buffy in confusion, "You know this guy?"

Buffy shook her head as she corrected Kim, "No, I know this vampire."

She then turned towards Spike and putting her free hand on her hip as the other hand still held on to Lucky. Her mind was feeling clearer and she was now able to refocus her thoughts again. The shock had disappeared and all that was left in its place was anger. Buffy demanded, "Why are you here?"

Spike tried to look braver than he felt declaring, "I'm here to help you."

Buffy rolled her eyes as her annoyance showed. She didn't expect to see him again and really wasn't in the mood to deal with him or really anyone. Yet she was here in her house with two visitors all in the same night. She turned away from the door still hugging Lucky, determined not to look at Spike as she waved her free hand towards the door behind her, "I don't want help. Go away! Why can't people just leave me alone?"

Spike hit his hand against the barrier and roared, "Bloody hell, Summers. I've come so far, at least let me in."

Buffy looked at Kim who just shrugged obviously not knowing the danger of letting a vampire into your home but at this point, Buffy didn't care. If Spike had come this far to kill her, he deserved the fight and honestly, she was tired of running from everything in her life. She was so tired of trying so hard to escape. She didn't even glance back as she responded tiredly, "Come in, Spike."

Spike stepped over the barrier and followed her as she walked back into the living room. He looked around in surprise, "You are living in this dump? It looks like a condemned building, Buffy. You could do much better. Think of your house in Sunnyhell. Your mum did well and it's great. Aren't you missing it?"

Buffy stared at Spike in disbelief as she put Lucky down to put her hands on her hips, "If you are planning to take me home, you have come for nothing. I don't plan to ever go home. You might as well leave now."

Spike decided a new approach was in order. This wasn't going to end well if he kept this up and he really had searched long and hard for her. Sure the girl wasn't going to go home just yet but he was sure some kind of good could come out of this. He let out a deep breath trying to calm himself as he ran his fingers through his hair. He then tried to catch her eye but gave up as he stated in as collected voice, "I'm not here to bring you home or anywhere else. We both lost our loves."

Buffy looked up at his statement and took a good look at him and saw he was as broken as she felt but shook her head, "I don't want to talk about that. You are welcome to stay tonight as long as you promise to keep your fangs to yourself including Lucky. If you even take so much of a lick, I'll stake you so fast you won't even be able to swallow it. Understand?" At Spike's nod she continued, "I'm giving Kim the only other room I cleaned upstairs. I sleep on the couch. You are welcome to take the floor or you can leave."

Spike nodded deciding not to fight with her with sunlight coming in a few hours. He was getting what he came for. He came to see the Slayer and see if she was alive and well and she seemed alive but he would hardly call her well. She seemed bitter and angry. She was even more angry than when he had seen her fighting against him. He hadn't believed that was possible until he saw her now. She had a major chip on her shoulder but he could understand why. He wasn't feeling all that great either knowing Dru had left him for a bloody chaos demon. What could a demon with dripping antlers give to a girl anyway? 'Course Buffy had to kill hers or be killed so he wasn't sure which was worse.

Buffy disappeared from his sight choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt as she took Kim upstairs to the bedroom she had been working on cleaning. When she first arrived she had thought she might want to stay in the bedroom but had found the television was great company and hadn't touched it since. It would work well for Kim's needs. She returned back downstairs once Kim seemed settled in and ignored Spike seeing how he wasn't getting into any trouble. Buffy took her dirty blanket and curled up on the couch in silence.

Lucky walked over to Spike and he looked down at the cat remembering how his mum had a cat and he couldn't help but pet the cat. It had been so long since he had actually been in a house much less been welcomed in one. This house may be dirty but it at least had a cat. Lucky went back over to Buffy and settled down on her lap to contently purr. He glanced up to notice Buffy had been watching him. He returned her look, cocking his head to one side, curiosity shining in his eyes as he tried to figure out what she was thinking but she looked away before he could figure it out.

As he laid down on the hard wood floor, she felt obligated to ask, "Mind if I turn the television on? I have been sleeping with it for noise lately."

Spike shrugged welcoming some noise, "Don't mind at all."

Buffy frowned as she stated directly to Spike, "I don't know why you have come here and not sure I care right now. You are around because I'm assuming you aren't here to kill me. Are you here to kill me?" Spike shook his head and Buffy waved her hand continuing her little speech, "I don't want you messing with Kim tomorrow. I have to work in the morning until late. I didn't exactly invite Kim here but I hope you fed. She won't be becoming a snack while I'm at work."

Spike nodded in agreement, "Wasn't planning to eat her anyway…you have a job?"

Buffy nodded, "I was thinking of giving it to Kim. I was planning to talk to Henry about it tomorrow when I take my paycheck home with me. She needs work and I think…I think I need to move on for a while."

Spike didn't say anything in reply as she turned on the television. Spike rolled on the floor trying to find a more comfortable spot but was failing. He let out a deep sigh wishing he felt more tired but instead thoughts were swirling around in his head. This was also early for his bedtime habits. Part of him wondered why Buffy hadn't kicked him out on the streets but another part of him realized she didn't seem bothered. He also asked himself over and over again why he didn't leave now that he saw she was fine. That was what he had come for after all but yet he wanted to stay at least for the night and day. He finally just rolled onto his back staring at the television. Buffy surprised him by sitting up on the couch, patting the spot next to her, "Come sit by me. I can't sleep and want to ask you some questions."

Spike shrugged and did as she asked, hoping to get some insight into what she was thinking. She had let a master vampire into her house with her friend there. She hadn't kicked him out when the sun was about to rise but instead offered him a place to stay. Plus she said he could stay at her house when she wasn't around. Something seemed off. Buffy broke his thoughts as she turned to him and asked in a point blank tone, "Why are you here?"

Spike decided to tell her the truth, "I told you. Dru left me. I remembered I left you. I got to wondering about you and if you made it. I went off to find you after learning you were indeed alive."

Buffy looked at him trying to determine if he was indeed telling the truth so she questioned, "How'd you learn I was alive?"

Spike looked down at his hands that were banging out a beat to the Sex Pistols song in his head. He felt uneasy as though he were fighting for the right to survive and knowing how stake-happy she was and how quick tempered she seemed, he probably was. He quietly explained, "Went to see your mum. She showed me your letter. I wanted to find you."

Buffy looked at him skeptically, "You plan to take me home, don't you?"

Spike shook his head as he looked at Buffy, "Not until you are ready, pet."

Buffy nodded satisfied for now with the reply, and yawned suddenly felt tired so she whispered, "Get comfortable."

Spike looked at her in total surprise as his mouth dropped open. He finally managed to close it to ask, "Why?"

Buffy wasn't even sure what the real answer was. Her mind was spinning with thoughts she didn't want to deal with and all she knew is she felt bad leaving him on the hard floor. It was either this or offer him a dirty bedroom. Determined not to analyze the situation she simply replied, "I'm tired and I feel bad making you sleep on the floor so get comfortable and I'll get comfortable around you."

Spike looked at her curiously but figured the couch was big enough so he curled up in a corner of the couch and she curled up on her side on the opposite end. She shared the blanket with him, carefully tucking it around both of them. Spike looked at her confused but figured, 'What the Hell. She's being nice for a change so I won't call her on it. Probably just lost and lonely like me'

He felt tired as he curled up into the blanket and was asleep pretty quickly.

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Buffy lay with her head resting against the couch arm thinking about what she will do now. She wasn't ready to go home and wasn't sure she would ever be. Seeing Spike reminded her that she definitely didn't want to have to deal with people and hated the questions she would be asked. She didn't want to think about the answers much less the questions. She had to admit though, she never expected to see Spike again. He looked like she felt. She could almost feel his pain radiating off him. She wondered how he could deal with living like that. She had to turn her emotions off to survive. She had to change her name, become a whole new person to go on living life. She sighed and tried to close to her eyes and relax so she could sleep. Finally she realized sleep wasn't coming and decided to act on her stray thought of, 'Perhaps I can convince Spike to talk to me.'

She wondered if he was sleeping so she whispered softly, "Spike, you awake?"

Spike stirred and replied, "What is it, love?"

Buffy bit her lower lip nervously as she started her planned speech, "I can't sleep. Can you talk to me a little while until I'm tired? If you do, you can sleep all day while I'm at work tomorrow, I promise. But I can't and I really can't sleep. My mind is racing and I can't get it to stop. Can you just tell me a story or something please?"

Spike sensed her desperation and replied, "What kind of story you want?"

Buffy shrugged not really understanding her own actions. Only thing she did understand was that Kim and now Spike had opened up feelings of loneliness and she didn't like it. She figured perhaps she could learn something about him. She wasn't sure if she was hoping for his story to remind her that he was some evil blood sucking vampire or something friendly and more human-like. She just was so tired of feeling lonely and wanted the company right now so she said, "If I promise not to tell anyone, can you tell me what you were like before? You know, before you were turned."

Spike sighed not really wanting to talk about it but wanting to help Buffy so he said, "How about I tell you a story my mum used to tell me. Would that work?"

Buffy nodded then realized Spike couldn't see her nod so she said, "That's fine. Is it happy?"

That wasn't quite what Buffy had in mind but it would work. It was something to get her mind off her own thoughts that she didn't want to think about. She didn't want to think about her home, her friends, her family or Angel. She heard Spike chuckle and she felt the uncontrollable urge to move her head so she could hear his voice better. Before she could stop herself, she shifted her head so it was closer to him and felt him shift as well. She frowned as her mind started filling with reminders of the last time she was really this close to someone. Angel's face popped into her head and she shifted even more trying to erase the thoughts from her head. Suddenly she felt Spike's shoulder against her face and in a way she was shocked at her own actions but she was really craving the touch of another person.

Spike felt her head lean against his shoulder and he was shocked but said nothing as he shifted slightly to get into a more comfortable position for himself and her. He moved the blanket to cover both of them and decided it was time to tell his story before something else happened, "My dad was a gentleman. Know what that means, pet?"

He felt the Slayer shake her head so he went on to explain, "Well, gentlemen come from money. They get their money from factories, shipping, or something like that. My money came from two factories overseas. In fact, it's still making money today in England, which is being transferred into my account all the time. Wolfram and Hart takes care of it for me. They know I'm a vampire and take care of vampires. But anyway this wasn't supposed to be about me but about my parents' meeting. So anyway my dad was a gentlemen and went to parties often. My mum wasn't allowed to go to them because she was of a lower class. In those days, love, everything depended on your class and where you got your money. She was part of the working class and my dad was not, so their social circles would usually never cross. But that isn't how this story goes."

She felt him chuckle again and moved her head a little closer so she could feel the vibrations of his voice as he spoke, "She had just started working, becoming of age, and she did what her parents did, worked in a factory. It just so happened that she worked in one of the factories my dad owned. Well anyway, he was walking through the factories to inspect how the thing was run. He was learning from his dad and he really wanted to see what the inside of the factory looked like. While walking through, he saw a young lady with light brown hair who was singing softly as she worked. He immediately fell in love with her and knew it was wrong but couldn't help himself. Their relationship was forbidden immediately. He had met her after work everyday and offered to spend some time with her. She refused him hundreds of times. My mum used to laugh and say that I was just like my dad, persistent but handsome."

Then he chuckled recalling the memory, but continued with his voice a little quieter with emotion, "I don't know if I agree with her. I can't even keep Dru after 120 years of being with her."

He paused trying to recollect his thoughts and then continued with his voice stronger, "But anyway, finally one day his father was downsizing the factory. He wanted to open up a second factory and the only way to do so was to get rid of some of the workers in this factory and then he could hire them back in the new factory. She was one of the chosen ones to be terminated. My dad saved her though. He swept her off her feet with his dashing good looks and persistence. Together, they were a match made in Heaven. He married her shortly after and then she had me. I was their only child. She loved me so much."

Buffy who was so involved in the story asked quietly, "What happened to them?"

Spike hesitated, "Dad died in a war when I was just a child. Mum…well, it's complicated."

Buffy put her hand on his arm feeling the need to apologize. She was so wrapped up in the people of the story that she had forgotten sometimes things aren't pleasant to talk about, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I was just curious."

Spike shifted as he tried to sit a little taller and Buffy readjusted her head to accommodate him as he admitted, "She was sick and dying. Dru had given me life when my life was ruined so I figured I could save her by giving her life as well. I was thinking she would be healthy and never die and not be sick anymore. She was a beautiful woman and I looked forward to never having to lose her and Dru was so happy with the idea of having a family so I turned her. I had this image in my head that it would be perfect but it wasn't so perfect. She wasn't herself. The monster took her over and she was trying to shag me. She was running her mouth about how much I wanted her, which wasn't true. I wanted her better not in that kind of way. In the end, I had to stake her. I killed her. My own mum was dead because of me. Not only did I kill her once but had to kill her again."

His voice had broken on the last few statements and tears fell from his eyes, which he quickly wiped away. The room was quiet for a few minutes until Buffy decided to speak up, "She was going to die either way Spike. You know that right?"

Spike nodded and she snuggled closer to him in hopes of comforting him. He whispered, "Buffy, pet, can you sleep now?"

Buffy nodded and realized she enjoyed the way it sounded when he said her name.

She didn't even attempt to say she was Anne now. Her name from his lips sounded perfectly right, and like she belonged to someone.

She yawned and asked, "Is it ok if I sleep like this?"

Spike smiled at her and without thinking kissed the top of her blonde head and whispered, "Sweet dreams, pet."

Buffy whispered, sounding tired, "Sweet dreams, Spike."

Lucky finally realizing they were settling, climbed on Buffy's side purring and with that Buffy drifted off to sleep determined not to over analyze the situation at hand. Within a few minutes, Spike followed.


	8. Chapter 8: Spread Some Hope

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This chapter was betaed by Brittany!

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Chapter 8: Spread Some Hope

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Buffy woke up finding herself laying against Spike's chest with his arm around her waist tight as though he was keeping her safe. She didn't want to get up but knew she had to start her day. She carefully drew herself out of Spike's grasp and picked up Lucky to feed him. She gave a glance back towards the sleeping Spike fighting the urge to analyze the night before but shook her head trying to shake the thoughts away. She then took the last piece of bread out of the cabinet and used the last of the jelly and some of the peanut butter to make herself a piece of toast. She then drank the last of the juice and sighed. She would have to get groceries for Kim before she left her alone with the place. She wondered briefly if Spike had any money. He had come here appearing in her life and didn't seem in a hurry to leave so perhaps he would have something for them to live on. She hoped he would because she would have some but not enough for forever. She shrugged determined not to think about the fact he had gotten into her future plans and instead changed the litter box noticing even that was getting low.

She made a note listing off the items she would need at the grocery store today. She'd need cat litter and food so Kim could care for Lucky as well as bread, milk, juice, jelly, and some lunchmeat. She had soup still that Kim could eat and she might pick up some mac and cheese to feed Kim over the weekend since she wouldn't work on Saturday and Sunday. She was sure if Kim got desperate, Henry would help her out but didn't want Kim to have to feel the need to live off his goodness.

She changed into her diner uniform knowing this was the last time she would wear it and gave Lucky an even bigger hug than normal whispering to him, "Kim will take good care of you. I'm sure she will. I can't take you with me. I'm sorry. But this will be Kim's life now. I'll miss you so much." Buffy's eyes filled up with tears but she refused to let any fall as she set Lucky down not even noticing the set of blue eyes watching her as she picked up her nametag and left for her last day at the diner.

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Spike was nervous as he watched Buffy leave the house. He found himself thinking, 'That looked like a solid goodbye to the cat. She had said Kim would take care of him. Does that mean she isn't coming back tonight?' He racked his brain trying to remember what exactly she said last night. He squinted his eyes trying to replay the memory and watched as it unfolded in front of him. Then he listened as Buffy told him, "I was thinking of giving it to Kim. I was planning to talk to Henry about it tomorrow when I take my paycheck home with me. She needs work. I think I need to move on for a while."

Spike thought on that feeling his nervousness disappear as he reasoned, 'She'd come home tonight after all. The bint would have to tell the girl that she had a new job and how to care for the pet. Then I'll go with her wherever she goes. For some reason, I feel the need to protect her. I can't do that if I'm in a place she's not. After all, I made a promise to the Slayer's mum to watch over her and try to convince her to come home. I promised Buffy I'd wait until she was ready so I have to go with her.'

After thinking that, Spike was still exhausted so he curled back up on the couch pulling the blanket that smelled of Buffy around him and felt Lucky curl up on him and he petted him gently saying, "You are such a good cat, Lucky. No wonder she was sad about letting you go. I don't think it's good for us to bring a cat with us. I'm sure Buffy is right though, Kim will take good care of you." The cat stood up on Spike's lap and meowed as though he understood before curling back up and together they slept the morning away.

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Kim woke up at noon and was surprised to find the vampire still sleeping on the couch. She knew almost nothing about vampires only that they were supposed to suck blood. She had always thought they were myths or legends designed to scare children off the streets at night and to stay home with their parents. She had never imagined they were real but then again she had never imagined she would be homeless and kicked out of her house either. So far, she had learned that vampires can't get into people's houses uninvited and that was about it.

She admired him as he slept thinking that he apparently liked cats though since Buffy's cat was curled up on his chest and his hand was on it as though he were petting it. Looking closer at the vampire, he was very sexy. Kim hoped he would continue to sleep while she got herself ready to go. She pulled the bag behind her that she had found upstairs and went into the kitchen to start to pack it up. She packed some bread, and some can goods being very careful as to not to make any noise. She then wandered into the living room wondering what she would do for money. She eyed the television and opened the door to set the bag outside to try to carry the television. It was heavy but Kim was strong. She managed to get the unhooked and was about to head out the door before she found herself turned around to face an angry vampire. As his eyes flickered blue to yellow, Kim shook in fear.

Kim stuttered, "I was going to p…pay her back. I just…I'm hungry and I have nothing. I was going to get some money to survive. I have nothing."

Spike eyed the young girl for a moment before roaring towards her, "What kind of stupid bint are you? She took you into her home. She fed you and you steal from her? Damn it that was just plain stupid."

Kim jumped back. She felt the television snatched from her hands and took two steps back towards the wall. Feeling cornered she cowered, "I..I just wanted to live. Surely you can understand what it's like to have nothing! Anne is leaving and I still won't have anything! She wouldn't need this stuff if she's leaving."

Spike blinked in confusion as he stated in disbelief, "Who is Anne?"

Kim looked at Spike curiously and replied, "The girl we are staying with."

He caught on fast as he realized that Buffy didn't want to be found so using her name wouldn't be smart. Buffy was associated with vampire slayer and with her past so he played it smart and smirked with a slight nod, "Ahh yeah. Well she is leaving, you are right but stealing from her is just plain stupid. You see, she's planning to give you her life here. Her nice job with income, this apartment, even the cat, pet, will be all yours once she gets home. I think you better be on your best behavior and if all goes well, tomorrow this life will be yours."

Kim looked totally shocked not knowing what to say, so instead she stood up and walked around the house, which would soon be hers. She wandered through the downstairs into the kitchen as she looked through the cabinets and refrigerator, noticing things were almost empty. 'How would I feed myself here?'

Then she wandered into the laundry room and noticed even the cat litter was almost empty but everything seemed in working order. Kim thought, 'I have no clothes. But I guess at the diner they would give me clothes.'

She wandered upstairs looking around the two rooms Buffy never cleaned and found them to be filled with clothes. Some might even fit her. Kim sighed knowing really if that vampire was right, she was getting a sweet deal. No one had ever given her anything before. She walked downstairs determined to make sure she understood him not wanting to get her hopes up for nothing. She sat on the floor in front of the television and whispered, "You sure this will be mine?"

Spike nodded once, "If I understand the Slayer, yes."

Kim decided not to question that nickname. So far Spike has called Anne at least three different names or nicknames. She didn't really care what the girl's real name was as it didn't really matter. She was happy to finally have a home even if it was empty. Suddenly the world seemed a little brighter. For once, Kim was feeling hope for a future.

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Buffy was indeed preparing to give Kim her life. She had arranged with Henry to hire Kim after she had left as to ensure Kim had income for her new life. Henry had readily agreed but was sad to see Anne go. He again offered a large amount of cash in hopes to compensate her for saving his daughter. Buffy didn't say much and just accepted it knowing it would make Henry feel better and would help her tons on her journey.

At 10 pm, she flipped the diner sign closed for the last time, grabbed the last of the shepard's pie at Henry's insistence and collected her tips and the cash for her paycheck. She changed into the clothing she had brought with her for once and left the diner uniform behind in the locker where she had found it. She almost felt like crying leaving another part of her life behind her but she refused saying she was a brave girl. Perhaps she was not Anne anymore but she was still brave. Tears were for the weak and that was not going to be her.

She wandered up the street and went into the convenience store and bought everything she had planned plus four pints of pig's blood, which was sold there at the small deli counter. She didn't question it, thinking it might help tide Spike over until they can get where they need to get. She sighed and wondered when her plans started to include her nemesis.

Life was strange sometimes and often times she had found it didn't any sense. The only thing she did know was that she was tired of being alone and Kim and Spike had opened up doorways into her feelings that were getting harder and harder to close. She carried her groceries back to the house thankful for her slayer strength and looked down at the cat that greeted her for the last time. She fought back tears as she sat her bags down on the ground.

Spike without a word picked up her bags, watching her hug the cat close to her chest and saw the tears fighting to surface but then she quickly put the cat down and her eyes cleared right up. Spike was tempted to question about it but figured he would deal with the consequences of not crying when they got to their next destination so he started to put the food away Buffy had bought. She had bought milk, bread, eggs, kitty litter, cat food, juice, jelly, ham, and cheese. He noticed at the bottom of the second bag was 4 pints of pig's blood as well as four sandwiches that were already made. He turned his nose up at the pig's blood but realized it was her gesture of being nice.

He took a whiff after opening one of the jars and shuddered thinking, 'It doesn't even smell that great.' He left them in the bag as he closed the refrigerator door returning back into the living room. As he glanced around to see what was going on with the ladies, he found both of them hugging and his slayer saying, "You're welcome" with the other girl repeating, "Thank you thank you thank you thank you" over and over again. The other girl had tears in her eyes but he noticed his Slayer had none.

He frowned at himself, 'She's not yours, you bloody wanker. She'll never be yours.'

Then he noticed Buffy looking at him and she stated, "I brought some pot pie home and some lunch meat to make sandwiches for you to eat Kim. I bought us four sandwiches at the deli and you some blood Spike. You can heat it up if you want or we can just bring it with us when we go."

Spike was shocked that she had planned on him leaving with her without him even asking. He had assumed there would be a battle filled with fist fighting and shouting but instead she seemed to have made the decision without him even saying he was going. As strange as that felt, he decided not to say a word about it to Buffy for fear she would change her mind. He smiled and went into the kitchen to pick up those items still in the bag thinking to himself, 'I guess I can live on pig's blood for a day or so as long as Buffy continues to not be bitchy. Perhaps we aren't so much of mortal enemies as I thought.'

Spike brought the bag as he walked back to Buffy and took the bag she was carrying from her hand and as they stepped out into the night to fill his car, he felt his heart fill with a bit of hope for the first time since Dru left.


	9. Chapter 9: On the Road Again

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Brittany betaed this chapter. Yay!

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Chapter 9: On the Road Again

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A few minutes later, Buffy was in the passenger seat of Spike's Desoto. Her bags had been placed in the back seat of his car next to his small bag, which Buffy figured was filled with his typical black clothing. The sandwiches and blood had been packed into a cooler he had kept in the back of his car and they had made one stop at 24-hour gas station to collect ice to keep the items cool.

As they continued their journey, neither said a word and it was driving Buffy crazy. She didn't like the quiet. Sure, before she had enjoyed it and looked forward to it but she found sitting next to a quiet Spike was making her long for conversation. If she couldn't have a conversation she needed music to fill the air before she found herself analyzing the situation at hand and possibly end up running away from Spike. After pausing for a moment, she glanced at Spike pleadingly, "Do you have any music or something to stop the quiet?"

Spike peeked in her direction noticing her uneasiness and how desperate she looked and although he figured it was due to the fact she didn't want to think, he still took pity on her replying, "I have a few tapes in the glove compartment. I doubt you like any but take your pick."

Buffy eagerly flipped through the collection of about 30 tapes and picked out Elvis. She found herself smiling at Spike and exclaimed, "Elvis is an all time classic."

Spike smirked at her bragging for a moment, "I met him once you know."

Buffy looked curiously at him and replied in amazement "You did?"

Spike nodded still smirking as he continued to brag, "Yep. He was in Vegas once when Dru and I were there. He signed in one of my journals. They are in the trunk though. My guess it was around 1967 or so."

Buffy settled back in her seat as memories filled her head of happier times when she stated, "My mom loved Elvis. She still listens to him while cleaning the house. She said I had to learn to appreciate the classics and Elvis was a classic. His music isn't that bad. Don't ever tell her but I sort of enjoy it."

She hummed along to the music that was blaring through the stereo. She couldn't say she was happy, nor even content but she was satisfied right now. She suddenly realized she had no idea where Spike was taking her as she sat up on her seat looking around at the road trying to see anything other than black, "Spike, um, where are we going?"

Spike was quiet for a moment lost in thought as a street sign was spotted in front of him, "How about Patterson, California?" He said pointing to the sign, informing her, "That's about 4 hours from Los Angeles and about the same from Sunnyhell."

Buffy nodded feeling satisfied with the reply, "What's there?"

Spike shrugged as he admitted, running his hand through his hair glancing in her direction to see how she felt about it, "Never been there. But we will see soon enough."

Buffy nodded as a yawn overcame her, "I know I should keep you company but I'm so tired. Do you mind if I sleep?"

Spike smiled over at her glancing her way for a second, "Don't mind at all. I slept all day, and you worked hard. Plus it's 12, probably past your bed time lately."

Buffy yawned again as she wiggled to get comfortable, "Will you wake me if you get tired?"

Spike didn't respond to her question and instead replied, "Eat something first pet."

Buffy didn't think to question him and instead reached behind the back seat getting their sandwiches. She unwrapped Spike's and handed it to him and unwrapped hers and took a bite frowning, "They are better warmer."

Spike shrugged answering, "It's fine."

Buffy didn't realize how hungry she was until she was just holding an empty wrapper in her hand. She reached over and took Spike's wrapper from his hand and crumbled them up together and put them back into the cooler. She glanced at him worried about his well being as she questioned, "Spike, do you need some blood? I noticed all four are still in there."

Spike frowned not sure what to say. He didn't want to hurt her feelings but he didn't want to lie to her either. He finally decided to just tell the truth, "I've never drank pig's blood."

Buffy frowned and he wondered what was going on in her mind and then she spoke up, "When we get to that new town, we'll find the closest hospital, if that's ok with you. I'd rather you not kill people."

Spike nodded figuring that was the case. She wouldn't even let him kill the policeman that was about to arrest her in Sunnyhell. He couldn't see that changing any time soon, if ever. She was a goody-two shoes being the Slayer and all. She could hardly be expected to lower her values for a killer. He decided bagging it wouldn't be so bad as long as they found a place that had a microwave. He could just heat it up to the right temperature and add some Weetabix and perhaps burba weed or even cinnamon or vanilla. He sighed knowing why vanilla came to his mind. He glanced over at Buffy who looked very uncomfortable with how she was sleeping. He reached behind the back of his seat pulling up the blanket to the front that they had taken from her old apartment and covered her up and smiled as she leaned over towards his direction and rested her head on his shoulder. She snuggled up closer to him then and he let out a deep breath.

He hadn't thought of Dru in the last few hours and that hadn't changed. All he was thinking about was the Slayer. 'Was that a good thing? Can I really be falling in love with a Slayer? I'm William the Bloody, who slays bloody slayers not falls in love with them'.

He frowned as he passed someone on the road realizing he was in trouble, 'I, William the Bloody, the Big Bad Vampire, William Pratt…' He gasped, 'I haven't called myself that in ages, well since pretty much I was turned. I'm turning into a bloody ponce.'

He sighed and decided to focus on the music before he made more of a bloody fool of himself. Elvis was singing away so he started humming away, careful not to move too much as to wake Buffy. They still had another three hours of the car ride to go.

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Spike and Buffy arrived in Patterson a few hours later with the sun shining bright as Spike had missed the sunrise by just a few minutes. Spike trying to be nice and left Buffy asleep in the car while he rushed into the hotel with a blanket over his head looking like a complete poof. He checked into the hotel, getting a room with a queen size bed. He had covered his head with the blanket they had thankfully brought, rushing Buffy into hotel room where he slipped her into the bed.

He was getting mighty hungry but didn't want to cause trouble. Sure he had just eaten a sandwich a mere three hours ago but nothing quenched his thirst besides blood. He was used to a person or two a night. Now he was going on 32 hours without anything other than a sandwich. He sighed and tried to get comfortable by pulling off his shirt, belt and then removed his boots. He hesitated for a moment while removing his socks and decided to just deal with the consequences and removed his pants as well. He wasn't used to sleeping with clothes on. He did it out of respect last night but now he was in a bed. He crawled into the bed listening to his stomach growl. He closed his eyes hoping to fall asleep despite the hunger. If he could just make it through the day, Buffy said they could stop at a hospital tonight. Just one day, another 12 hours, surely he could handle that.


	10. Chapter 10: Hard Decisions, Good Results

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This chapter was nicely betaed by Brittany. I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 10: Hard Decisions, Good Results

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Three hours later, Buffy woke up finding herself in a hotel room sleeping with Spike. She crawled out of his arms to leave him sleep and went out to his car carrying the bags and cooler in since it was daylight and she knew he couldn't. She selected a pair of pants and a simple tee shirt with matching red panties and bra before going into the shower to clean up. She felt dirty because she hadn't showered after her shift last night. She wondered how Kim was holding up but figured she was fine and had gotten the best end of the deal. She was no longer homeless and had a job and a cat.

She stripped out of her clothes and climbed into the shower enjoying the feel of the hot water on her. She washed her hair with the shampoo she had brought with her and as she rinsed her hair, she began to wonder what this new part of her life would bring her. She was journeying now with a vampire. Not just any vampire but a vampire who had tried to kill her many times. He seemed pretty harmless and he seemed to need her as much as she needed him although she would never admit that out loud.

A few minutes later, Buffy came out of the shower, dressed and feeling pretty good. She was clean at least and had on fresh clothes. She stepped into the room quietly as to not to awake Spike noticing that that he had opened one eye to look at her. She crawled into the bed next to him and heard his stomach growl. She felt so damn guilty so she asked, "Spike I have a question. Answer me truthfully okay?"

Spike nodded agreeing, "I will try."

Buffy quietly asked, almost nervous of the answer, "Feeding. How much blood makes you full?"

Spike sighed wishing she hadn't asked and Buffy continued misreading his sigh for one of annoyance, "I heard your stomach growl and I can feed you some but I don't want to die from it. If you mix some of my blood with your pig's blood, will that help the flavor?"

Spike looked as though he was in shock. Buffy continued, "Would that be ok? You are so quiet that you are making me nervous."

Spike let out a deep breath and stated in a cool tone, "I don't know if I can bring myself to feed from you, love."

Buffy waved her hand in front of him as she tried to convince him because she was sure she wanted to this, "Don't think of it as feeding and besides I'm offering. You're obviously hungry. Your stomach is still growling and I won't let you eat people so it's the least I can do."

She shrugged thinking if she acted like it was no big deal, he'd give in.

He studied her for a moment, "Tell you what. I'll drink one pint of pig's blood and that will do."

Buffy frowned, "Don't you want Slayer blood? Angel always said it was supposedly good."

Spike frowned not understanding this girl for a moment, "I don't want to hurt you."

Buffy whispered softly, "Does it always hurt?"

Spike shook his head, "No Buffy, love, it doesn't have to hurt but to make it not hurt, I would have to be a bit intimate with you and I'm not sure you want that."

Buffy bit her bottom lip very nervously. Spike was sexy, really sexy and she so didn't want to be totally alone anymore. She had gotten turned on around him before because he was amazing. Plus Spike was so far great company and she was responsible for him not feeding and being full and she was full because he cared enough to suggest she eat the sandwich. She bit her bottom lip even harder and then came up with an idea. She continued to bite her lip until she drew blood and then watched as Spike's eyes turn gold at the scent of her blood. She whispered leaving the drop of blood on her lip to entice him, "Will my blood alone feed you? Will you end up draining me? Will you be able to stop?"

Spike smirked barely controlling the blood lust running through his veins as he watched a tiny prick of blood form on her lower lip and the smell was intoxicating, "Number one, I won't drain you no matter what. Number two, I'm sure even a pint of your blood will fill me seeing how it's Slayer blood. Number three, I'm strong. I can stop when I need to stop. I, rarely kill the blokes I feed from. Are you sure about this Buffy?"

Spike closed his eyes praying she said yes and he heard the quiet words, "Yes, I'm sure."

With that Spike patted his lap and she looked at him questionably, "Um…why your lap?"

Spike sighed as he questioned, "Do you trust me at all, Buffy?"

Hearing him use her real name caused her walls to drop down and she shook her head but crawled up into his lap anyway still on top of the blankets which formed a barrier in her eyes.

He gently spoke near her ear, "Ok pet, there two ways to do this. Number one, you fully clothed but I'll have to reach inside your pants to get you turned on so that it doesn't hurt or number two, you leave the shirt on for modesty knowing you've only been with my grand-sire so probably not many have seen you naked. Either way Buffy, if you don't want to this hurt, bottom line is, I'm going to have to touch you in intimate places. I'm not saying I have to shag you senseless or even at all but you have to be turned on as to be distracted. If you are going to fight me, I'll just wait until nightfall to eat. I need you to trust me so it doesn't hurt. As I said before, I won't hurt you, Buffy. Do you trust me?"

Buffy hesitantly nodded not really sure what she was getting herself into but was determined not to analyze this. She needed to do this or she would be alone so she removed her sleeping pants leaving her in her shirt only. She turned her body to the side and leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips determined to make this easier on him. As she kissed him, she felt his hands frame her face and he returned her kiss with such fervor that her breath caught in her throat and her head started spinning. Her only thought was, 'Angel never kissed me like this. This is amazing.'

But all thoughts flew out of her head as he moved his hand down to cup her breasts through the shirt and she moaned feeling herself get turned on. She wondered for a brief second, 'Will this change me? Will he change? How far will he go?' but then she realized she trusted him because he seemed different than Angelus and she really had no one else to trust. She also realized that on some deep primal level, he could have killed her many times over in the last two days. Hell, he could have even killed her while they were working together against Angelus. He didn't seem to want to kill her for some odd reason. Her thoughts were lost again as he moved one hand down to her uncovered center.

He moved his finger up against her lips and felt how wet she was. He let out a sigh before capturing her mouth with his again. Deep down inside he knew he didn't have to really do anything more. She was so turned on, she would want the bite but part of him didn't want this moment to end. He was touching her and she was letting him and she was going to let him bite her, which not even Angel got to do.

He felt her shudder and heard her gasp as he pushed his finger between her lips and touched her clit. God she was so receptive as he heard her moan as he gently rubbed her clit for a moment. She was withering under his touch moaning for more. He wasn't one to refuse a lady so he moved his finger down further until he reached her entrance. He gently used one finger and pushed the finger inside of her and heard her gasp and then let out a loud moan as she clung to his arms with her slayer strength. Her legs were spread wider to give him access, her head was thrown back in ecstasy and the sounds coming from her mouth were to die for. He was urged on as he moved a second finger and felt her muscles squeeze around his finger and imagined for a minute how it would feel around his erection. He groaned at that thought as he carefully curved his fingers to find her g-spot, which he found on the first try and felt her tense in pleasure. She arched her back bringing her hips off his lap. He leaned over without thinking and lifted up her shirt to pull it off her head and to suck on her breasts. She was withering under his touch as he pumped his fingers in and out of her and sucked one breasts while squeezing the other.

Buffy moaned out, "God, so good." Spike took a minute to enjoy her words never hearing anything like it in his life or unlife.

The only one he had ever been with was Dru and she was hardly appreciative. He lifted his head to kiss her passionately and she returned the kiss with just as much passion. For a moment, Spike could almost imagine she felt the same for him as he did for her but he couldn't let that be his focus. Instead he kissed her cheek then sucked on her earlobe, causing her to arch her hips again and he filed that information into his Buffy database for later use.

He continued to kiss down her neck and found her jugular and kissed it and then sucked on it bringing the blood to the surface. Buffy was so close she was lost to anything but pleasure which was right where Spike needed her to be. He brought his thumb up to rub her clit while fingering her again and again and while fondling one of her breasts and she tensed her muscles to moan out his name while having an intense orgasm. Spike took advantage and bite down carefully as to not to tear the skin and took a few pulls of blood. He closed his eyes feeling the power of her lust filled blood enter his system. Lust filled blood was even more powerful than fear filled blood.

He groaned at the intense feeling as he listened to her heartbeat to figure out when to stop. He took a few more pulls as Buffy orgasmed again and this time screamed out his name loudly for anyone in the next few rooms to hear. He took two more pulls of blood figuring that was about 2 or 3 pints and removed his fangs carefully from her neck and gently licked the area to clean and sealed the wound. He pulled his fingers out of her gently but continued to knead her breast in a loving fashion. Buffy's eyes were still closed as she whispered, "That was amazing. I never…I've never experienced that before. Thank you."

Spike smirked and realized she couldn't see it and it was probably better than way so he lifted her up and pulled her into the bed with him so she was resting her head on his chest as he pulled her close whispering into her ear, "That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much."

Buffy was drifting off to sleep but heard his words that followed shortly, "I think I love you, Buffy Summers. I'm damned but I do." With that, both of them fell asleep not saying another word.


	11. Chapter 11: Morning After

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Betaed by Brittany!

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Chapter 11: Morning After

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Buffy woke up and felt herself being held. She also noticed she felt content being held. She snuggled in closer and refused to open her eyes wishing the feeling wouldn't go away. She didn't feel so alone. Then she heard a voice saying, "Morning, Cutie."

Buffy giggled at the sound of his voice until it hit her. She felt his arousal against her leg that was resting against his own. She was snuggled up with her mortal enemy and she frowned and tensed up. Buffy wiggled out of his embrace and stood in front of him crossing her arms in front of herself to attempt to distance the pain she was feeling. She wasn't even over Angel and here she was snuggled up with her enemy. "What was wrong with me?" She wondered out loud.

Spike replied softly, "Nothing is wrong with you, kitten. What is the matter?"

Buffy blinked quietly admitting, "I didn't mean to say that aloud. That was more of a me thought. I'm just confused." Spike cocked his head to the side and sat upright in bed with one of his knees bent so his elbow could rest on it. Buffy watched as the sheet slid down to pool around his waist, still protecting him from her eyes. She shook her head getting even angrier with herself. 'Why am I wanting to see what he has to offer? I'm supposed to love Angel forever, not jump right into bed with my enemy. And how can he be my enemy if he made me feel the way I was feeling last night. Am I totally messed up? I was snuggled with a vampire yet again. God I must be losing it.'

Buffy started to pace as her mind started racing and then the thoughts starting being spoken out loud as she got more and more upset, "I love Angel dammit but last night felt so good and it wasn't supposed to. This is crazy. I'm crazy. God I must be really losing it or perhaps I've already lost it. Why didn't Spike suck me dry? I'm his enemy and he's here in a hotel with me not sucking me dry. I trusted him to touch and hold me and we were snuggling for God sakes…I need a shrink. Actually been there, had one." Then she stopped noticing Spike was staring at her. She had forgotten she wasn't alone for her breakdown.

She just snapped and started yelling at him, "What are you doing to me? Are you using some kind of thrall on me like Dru did to Kendra? Are you messing with my mind and making me all confused? Why aren't I dead? We snuggled together. My first time snuggling and it was with you who is supposed to be my mortal enemy. Let's fight. Hit me dammit or something. Suck my blood or you already did that and why the hell am I still alive? Is this some kind of sick mind game? You want me to get hooked on you so you can drain me dry while I'm sleeping? Is that it? That's just sick."

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Buffy was ready to slug him when he grabbed her arm. He was getting angry hearing her words. He knew she was confused and hurt. But she was hurting him.

Bloody hell this wasn't how this was supposed to go but then again he had no plan for this part. Spike roared in anger, "This isn't some sick demented mind game. I don't use thrall. Never have had to. That's Dru's thing. I most definitely don't have to use thrall to get into girl's pants. It would be like rape and that's not my thing. That's Angelus'." He noticed Buffy flinch and he could kick himself for saying that but he was still pissed. He continued his shouting not caring who heard him, "You want to bloody fight? Fine turn around so I can at least get decent and get some clothes on as well. You standing here naked in front of me won't end in fighting. Well not the enemy kind anyway."

He noticed her blush as she noticed she was naked and she rushed over to the chair grabbing his duster to cover herself from his gaze. He sighed feeling a little less angry since she was embarrassed, "You wanted me to touch you. You asked and I asked over and over again to make sure. You always said yes. I don't rape. I never have and you aren't worth my time enough to start with you anyway."

He watched her flinch again and then felt horrible as he watched tears fall from her eyes onto her cheeks. Without thinking, he went over to her and wrapped his arms around her and sat down on the chair pulling her onto his lap. She started to sob not saying a word. He had no idea how to handle this so he just held her and rocked her hoping to make her feel better. Dru was always angry when she was upset but she never cried.

Buffy by this point was really bawling. Her whole body was racked with her tears. His duster and his chest were totally soaked and still the tears fell from her eyes. Spike could have really kicked his own ass at making her cry so much. He was tempted to try to soothe her with words but he didn't know what to say. So instead he left her cry hoping she would cry it all out so they could go back to fighting. Now fighting was something he did well. Comfort wasn't something he was so good with.

He closed his eyes taking in the scent of her tears, salt, sweat, and realized at that moment, he was in big trouble if they stayed on their little run away adventure for too long. He was definitely falling in love with this girl, this Slayer.


	12. Chapter 12: Destiny

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This chapter was betaed by the ever faithful Brittany.

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Chapter 12: Destiny

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One minute they were yelling, the next Buffy felt her walls breaking down. 'This wasn't my sweet and loving Angel who would make the world disappear and my world better. This was cold-hearted Spike who thought I was worthless. I wasn't even that good in bed. God Angel. I betrayed you last night.'

Before she could stop, the tears began to fall. She killed Angel. She had to kill Angel. He was never coming back and she was left with Spike who didn't even want to be with her. He probably just drank from her because he was hungry. He didn't even care that she had never given her blood to anyone. Her mother hated her and wanted her gone. She was sure Giles blamed her for his Jenny's death. Willow was in the hospital because of her. Angel was long gone because of her.

'Spike should have killed me when he had the chance last night. I deserved it.' With that last thought, her cries turned into deep sobs. She couldn't take this life anymore. She was empty inside and the only time she felt whole again was when Spike's cold fingers were touching her. For a few minutes last night, she had been tempted to ask him to enter her with more than just his hands, to make her his but that was so wrong. She was wrong. She was all wrong. She was destined to be alone forever.

As her sobs stopped she realized Spike was holding her. She didn't care. She just needed to talk about it with someone so she started talking, "You left with Dru. I barely noticed. The fight was so intense. At a few points, I thought for sure I was going to die. He was on his knees and I was just about to kill him when it happened. His eyes glowed gold and he started to cry. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at me with such sorrowful eyes." Her tears kept falling and she could barely get out the words but she knew she had to get them out, "He said my name. He looked so lost and confused and asked me, 'What's going on?' I was there with a sword in the air ready to cut off his head and he was in so much pain. He stood up and looked at me with those brown eyes and whispered so full of confusion, 'Where are we? I don't remember.' And the way he looked at me, I could tell he didn't remember what happened so I dropped down the sword. He looked at the sword mark he had put on me and said, 'You're hurt.' God it was so hard and he drew me in for a hug, 'I feel like I haven't seen you for months. Everything was so muddled.' And he kissed my shoulder saying my name over and over again. Then Oh my God. I saw it. I saw the demon's eyes glow and his mouth opened up. The demon was ready to suck the world into Hell and I had to kill Angel. I knew it at that moment, Angel was back and I had to kill him. It was my job, my duty to save the world. I'm 17 and I had to kill Angel because I'm the Slayer. I decided to make this as easy on him as possible so when he asked, 'What is it, what's happening?' I told him to shush and be quiet and not to worry about it. This was my job, not his. My job to save the world and all that was in it. That was the arrangement. So I kissed him, told him I loved him, he replied that he loved me. I wanted to cry but I couldn't let him know what I had to do so I told him to close his eyes. He trusted me so much and did so as I asked. I gave him a kiss and slammed the sword into his chest. He reached for me, with tears in his eyes and whispered my name again and again. I can still hear it echoing in my head, 'Buffy, Buffy, Buffy' just like that. He was sucked into Hell because I couldn't save him and killed him. After he left, I just cried. But I realized I couldn't stay there. So I left. I packed a bag, snuck out of the house and hopped on a bus to L.A."

Buffy just couldn't stop the tears. She was back to sobbing again and whispered, "My mother told me to leave the house, never to come back. Angelus killed Giles's girlfriend and he must blame me because I slept with Angel. My love for Angel killed people. I'm destined to be alone forever." Buffy felt Spike's arms around her not saying a word still. She just cried and cried until she had no tears left. Then she sat quietly and leaned into Spike as he lifted her up and pulled her into bed. She felt the duster fall off of her as she was laid on top of his chest and she didn't fight sleep as it came. She welcomed it and closed her eyes feeling safe but empty.

Spike held Buffy as she slept with her body still shaking as she continued to sniffle even in sleep. 'How did I get here? I'm holding the bloody Slayer while she sleeps. She's wearing a mark on her neck from my bite and she thinks I did some evil spell on her. What the bloody Hell am I supposed to do now?' He looked up at the ceiling and yelled in his head, 'What the bloody Hell am I supposed to do now? Is this some powers-that-be sick joke? Messing with Angel wasn't enough but now you have to mess with me as well? Will you zap me with a soul next?'

He looked down and noticed that his hand was tucked in her hair and was gently running his fingers though it. 'God I'm a ponce, a wanker, a pathetic loser. I'm love's bitch is what I am but not sure what that has to do with this situation. I don't love Buffy. She's the Slayer. She's meant to ruin my life's existence. We should be fighting to the death not sleeping together for comfort.' Spike's head started to grow tired from all the thoughts and the emotional drain of actually crying for someone for once.

His whole existence had been spent making sure he was fed, and that he made Dru happy. She was fairly easy to keep happy. All it took was a child or two to eat, a place you can see the stars from time to time and sex mixed with pain. Sure Spike never did enjoy the pain but it seemed to make his dark princess happy. He sighed. He will never again see Dru he was sure. If he did, it wouldn't be the same. She was over him. She probably never did love him in the first place. Perhaps that was his destiny: To love someone who would never love him back. With that thought, he fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13: Preparations

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Brittany has stuck with me so far and betaed this chapter for me! Yay

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Chapter 13: Preparations

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Buffy was dreaming. She was back with Angel and he was holding her after a night of loving making.

She was so happy and suddenly Angel's face changed to his vampire form and he grinned at her the way Angelus did. Buffy tried to struggle but still he held her tight and said, "Struggling is useless, lover. No matter where you go, what you do, I'll always be able to catch you. You can never hide." Then he licked her neck with a grin, "Mmmm your blood is calling for me. You might be lousy in bed but your blood would make up for it." Then he sliced his fangs into her neck and started to drain her. She struggled and he laughed against her neck as some of her blood continued to spill out. He caught it with his tongue tearing her skin a little and she yelled out in pain, "No!!"

She suddenly awakened to the feeling of someone rocking her, telling her it was just a dream and it would be okay. She recognized the voice and it was surprisingly calming to her. She stopped her tears and looked up at Spike and whispered, "Why are you being nice to me?"

Spike shifted and answered, "I can't stand to see you cry. What was the dream about?"

Buffy tensed not sure she wanted to tell him. He seemed sincere with his asking and she searched his eyes to see if he had any alterior motive but instead she saw worry and concern so she replied, "How can vampires show worry and concern? Aren't they supposed to be soulless?"

Spike glared at her for a moment before answering her ridiculous question, "Souls don't equal emotions, pet. Lack of a soul does not equal lack of emotions either. I'm sure Hitler had a soul when he murdered the millions of Jewish people and I'm sure the colonists had souls when they were enslaving people from Africa. Souls equal your destiny. It's something that lives on after us. Something deep inside that attempts to guide you but it's hardly your conscious. Vampires lose their souls so that when they feed they no longer worry about the results. If we vampires had to worry about Heaven or Hell, we couldn't eat and would slowly die or cease to exist. Most people's actions pave the way for a better life or a better future. You slay vampires in hopes to save lives therefore giving people a better way of life. You do good to hope to end up in Heaven someday. See us vampires, we have no souls so no way to go to either place. When we die, the decision is already made for us. Angel had a soul. He had something to work towards. He was working towards some higher purpose, some great reward in the great beyond. See me? I don't have some great beyond. I have no Heaven or Hell. When I dust, I merely cease to exist therefore why should I try hard to do good? There is no point really."

Buffy frowned and felt bad hearing this explanation, "Why do you bother then? What's the point if nothing you do makes a difference one way or another?"

Spike studied her for a moment before answering, "Love motivates me though. I do what I do mostly for love. I spent 120 years on this earth and my only purpose was to love and care for Dru. Not a bad life but I lost that purpose. Dru said I belong in the sunshine or some dabble. I am hoping that means I'm not meant to end up dusty by some sunrays rather than going out with a big fight. I'd like to go out fighting and to tell you the truth, until this last week, I was thinking it might be with you. You're good, Slayer. Real good. So much so that if I had to be taken out, I hope you're the one who gets to do it."

Buffy frowned even more so, "I'm not quite sure I want to kill you anymore. You make me very confused, and hurt me sometimes but you have a sweet side."

Spike growled, "I am not sweet. Take that back. I'm the big bad vampire. I kill people and have killed people and might even continue to bloody do so."

Buffy decided she did not want to think about such things and instead whispered, "It's going to be daylight soon. Do we have time to make a food and hospital stop before the sun rises?"

Spike nodded, "We've got about four hours. I'll need about 10 minutes for the hospital run. I saw a sign for it on the way into town but it was already daylight. I'm sure we can find you food somewhere. The cooler is worthless. Perhaps we can do the hospital run, run you through fast food and look for a place to nest. Not that the hotel isn't nice and all but we need a fridge and a place for you to call home so it keeps the vampires out. So come on, pet. Let's get showered, dressed and get some food into our systems."

Buffy nodded then looked at him because she was naked and grinned a little, "Want to shower together? I've never done that before and you've already seen me naked and it's only fair I see you naked and...I'm totally babbling and I totally understand that you don't want to. After all you and Angel both said I wasn't any good." She turned her back to find the duster that would be somewhere on the floor when she was suddenly pulled back into the bed and turned to face Spike. His eyes were a really dark blue as he said, "Buffy, let me say something and remember it. I'm a bad man. I say things sometimes that I don't mean when I get angry. You hurt me this afternoon when your ramblings about me thralling you so I bloody well hurt you back. I'm sorry…you weren't that bad. You were beautiful when you got off, you were so trusting and perfect. I don't know why Angelus said you were unreceptive but his loss is my gain. So no matter what I say on the issue next time you get me mad, remember yesterday morning was perfect and I'll never forget it." Buffy smiled slightly although really nervous.

Spike suddenly hopped out of bed and swung her into his arms before she even could have stopped it. He grabbed their bags with one hand and held onto her with the other and two minutes later she was standing in a shower with steaming hot water.

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Spike looked at Buffy and realized she looked really nervous but also somewhat eager. She looked at his face but never looked down. He smirked at her innocence, realizing if he had never knew that Angelus had shagged her, he would have never guessed. She acted as though she were still a virgin. It was a shame Angelus had done such a number on the girl. It was obvious that she had and would continue to have serious issues and probably even flashbacks before she was healed. Obviously she was traumatized over sending him to Hell. Spike himself couldn't even begin to imagine the trauma that waking up to find Angelus in the place of your pathetic lover would do to a girl's mind. For some reason, these thoughts bothered Spike. He looked at the little bint in front of him and she appeared so young and vulnerable. She was causing feelings in him that he knew he shouldn't feel. Things like pity, the desire to protect, and comfort had no place in a master vampire's life.

Angelus never had them. He was spiteful, witty at times, but more known for his lack of pity. He could torture a baby and still laugh about it afterwards. Hell, he had taken families, raped them all, then killed off the babies first, then to make the parents watch before killing them anyway. Dru was his best creation after all and look what a loony she was, 'I should know. I took care of her for 120 years. Did Angel? No of course not. The job was left to me. I didn't mind so much but she never loved me.' He frowned at that thought then realized Buffy was looking at him with eyes so hurt that she apparently thought he was frowning at her. Without giving any thought, he placed a kiss on her lips to calm her down. He reached over and took the sponge and soap that she had taken out of her bag and chuckled at it. Buffy frowned, "Are you making fun of my sponge?"

Spike shook his head and then couldn't keep a straight face and laughed, "I just am not used to girly shower things. Vampires usually don't take showers and even then it's more rinsing. Don't make a face, we don't sweat, don't do all those other humanly bathroom things either. The most we have to clean off usually is blood or sex stuff. And like I said it's a quick shower."

By this point Buffy was grinning, "So this is like your first real humanly shower that you shared with someone even though you are a vampire?"

Spike put a finger up against her lips and whispered, "Don't tell anyone that I'm going to smell like vanilla because I'm using your scented shower stuff, okay?"

Buffy grinned, "No issues with that since we are stuck with each other all alone."

Spike didn't answer that and instead busied himself with pouring the soap onto the sponge. Using his hand to lather it up, he began to gently rub her neck with it enjoying the feel of her skin under his hand and the way the sponge guided over her skin. Her skin was so soft and smooth. He couldn't resist placing a kiss on her neck where he had bitten her the morning before and watched as Buffy moaned. He moved the sponge down and rubbed her shoulders with it making sure they were clean and whispered in her ear, "Buffy, love, turn around."

Buffy obeyed and closed her eyes as Spike moved the sponge across her back gently reaching the edges of her breasts. Then he knelt down and rubbed the sponge over her backside watching as the globes of her ass were covered with soap. He was tempted to place gentle kisses on her ass but he was a master vampire and all. There would be no ass kissing for this master vampire.

He sighed and moved his hands down to rub them down her legs watching as she slightly moved them apart to allow better access. He whispered as he reached her ankles, "Turn around, pet."

His voice was husky and when she turned around, he almost moaned in delight. Her nipples were already pointed and he could smell her arousal. He continued to rub the sponge up her legs careful to ignore her center as he rubbed her stomach dipping close but not close enough. He raised the sponge to rub around her breasts and then smirked as she arched her back to force him to touch her breasts. He ignored her and rubbed her arms carefully with the sponge as she moaned, "Spike please…"

Spike smirked and said, "Please what, love? What is it that you need from me?"

Buffy moaned, "Please you know what I need..."

Spike smirked, "I won't do anything unless you tell me what you need."

With that statement said, he moved back and refused to touch her anymore. Buffy whined, "But I need you to touch me."

Spike whispered into her ear before sucking gently on her lobe, "Where, Buffy?"

Buffy moaned and whispered softly, "On my breasts. Please they hurt."

He moved his free hand up and gently massaged her breasts and brought up the other with the sponge and gently moved it over her breasts paying close attention to her nipples. She felt her legs buckle and Spike lifted her up making her legs wrap tightly around his waist. He whispered, "What else do you want, pet?"

She whispered, "I want you to touch me."

"Where, Buffy? You must tell me where."

Buffy moaned when she felt his mouth suck on her ear lobe again. It was obvious to him that she was unable to respond at that moment, so instead she guided her hand down, showing him, rather than speaking the words, "God, Spike, please do something!"

Spike smirked at her reaction but obliged and he gently laid her down into the tub and watched as she spread her legs not even caring that he was looking into her and he moved his fingers to rub her clit and her eyes closed and she pulled him closer for a kiss. He then dipped one finger then a second into her to begin to pump in and out. Buffy moaned out his name and tried to pull him even closer to her. He kissed her neck as she moaned, "More, Spike, more."

Spike whispered against her neck, "What do you want, kitten?"

She whispered, "Make me cum. Bite me, do whatever it is you have to do. Just let me cum!"

Spike smirked and licked her pressure point knowing he could easily bite her and not take any more blood from her system. It would probably be enough to get her off but he was evil and really wanted her blood. So without giving a thought to anything other than her blood, he moved one hand up to cup her breast and tease it while the other continued to pump in and out of her and he moved his thumb to rub against her clit and felt her so close as he gently bite into her neck making her soar off into an intense orgasm. He pulled a few sips of blood savoring her flavor then gently pulled his teeth from her neck and licked every last drop from her neck moaning in delight at how strong and healthy he felt with her blood coursing through his veins. For a few minutes after the slayer blood, it makes him feel almost alive. He enjoyed that feeling so much. He carefully withdrew his fingers and kneaded her breast for a few more moments enjoy the soft feeling of them and then gave her a gentle kiss and helped her to stand. He then cleaned her breasts and down there gently knowing she was probably sore after such a work out but wanted to make sure she was clean.

She then leaned into his ear and whispered, "Your turn."


	14. Chapter 14: Trauma

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This chapter was betaed by the wonderul Brittany. Thanks!

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Chapter 14: Trauma

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Buffy lifted the washcloth and created a lather from the bar of soap in the shower and gently rubbed over his shoulders. Spike closed his eyes never having ever had someone who cared for him. Usually he was the one caring for them but here Buffy was washing him down.

Buffy gently rubbed circles on his chest at first ignoring his nipples but then getting a little braver and gently rubbed the cloth over them. He opened his eyes for just a second to look at her and saw she was blushing and looked almost embarrassed. He frowned and Buffy thought she must be doing a bad job so she stopped mid rub and looked up into his eyes for answers. Spike sighed speaking gently towards her, "Pet, you don't have to wash me. I can do it. I don't mind. I don't want you doing something you don't want to or aren't ready to do."

Buffy wanted to return the favor. He had taken care of her the last day and a half and she wanted to give him something back. She was just nervous. This was all so new to her. Her one night with Angel had been nice but more so from the virgin perspective. She didn't do much of the work and only had the job of meeting his thrusts and even those were short lived, maybe a minute at the most. In that minute though she felt closer than she had thought possible with a person. Now, it was different. She looked into his eyes for strength and whispered, "I don't know if I'm ready. I want to return the favors. I really do it's…" Buffy trailed off and knew she couldn't do this. She was too scared and it was wrong. This wasn't Angel and it was so wrong to want this. She shook her head and the tears started to fall and she hopped out of the shower and ran out of the bathroom grabbing her bag to have her clothes with her. She quickly pulled on some clothes out of her bag and wiped the tears that had fallen and didn't even bother with shoes as she ran out of the hotel room not listening to Spike yell after her.

She ran and ran until she could run no more. She had no idea where she was or what she was even doing. She just had to get away. She had to escape. 'How do people live with the pain of losing someone they love?" Buffy thought when she finally slowed down to catch her breath then she realized something, 'People don't live with it. I'm alone, all alone and no one will ever understand or be by my side.'

Buffy felt more tears fall as she suddenly looked around. She found herself deep inside a cemetery surrounded by vampires. She had no weapons, and no shoes on and she was alone. She knelt on the ground hoping it was fast. She was tired of this life. She was so tired of the pain that came along with living and the responsibility of being the Slayer. She bowed her head not saying anything and not even fighting. One of the vampires leered at her, "Look, fresh food."

The female vampire of the bunch looked at Buffy a bit confused, "Why don't I smell fear?"

The third vampire spoke loudly with a growl, "I don't care why, let's just kill her, Boss. I'm so hungry and it's not everyday we get fresh meat."

The fourth vampire jumped up, grabbing Buffy by her neck and she dangled in the air gasping for breath. He threw her against a wall cutting her left arm. Suddenly all five vampires hissed, "Slayer."

The third vampire almost cheered, "I'm going to kill the Slayer!" and with that he jumped on the Slayer and backslapped her. He took a deep whiff of her blood as it filled the air after having slammed her head so head against the wall. He grinned as he bent down and bit her neck not so carefully. Buffy hissed in pain but didn't fight back almost welcoming the feeling of her life draining out of her system. Just then, she saw a flash of black and a loud roar and the vampire was ripped off her neck and thrown across the graveyard to tumble over a tombstone.

The other vampires stood up with their game faces on looking at the intruder. The intruder grabbed the head of the one closest to him and twisted it clean off watching the dust fall. Then he turned towards the vampire who had tasted Buffy's blood and roared and started punching and kicking him fueled by anger. The vampire started begging him to stop and dust him already but the intruder wouldn't listen. He was really pissed off.

Buffy stood up on shaky legs and noticed the other two vampires were about to jump the intruder and took a branch off the ground and dusted one and then the second one from behind with neither of them knowing what had hit him. She then grabbed the intruder by the arm swinging him around and put up her hand to stop his motions and carefully dusted the vampire that was under him. She then collapsed on the ground at his feet passing out. "Bloody Hell Slayer, what were you thinking?" Spike roared at the unconscious girl on the ground.

He hoisted her up into his arms and cradled her like a baby, carrying her carefully through the streets and back into the hotel. As he closed the door he smelled the scent of her blood strong and quickly stripped her of her clothes to see where the injuries were to stop the bleeding. He went into the bathroom picking up one of the washcloths there and used the unused ice bucket to fill it with water. He brought both items over to the bleeding Slayer kneeling beside her. Carefully, he washed the cut on her back and her arm making sure it was sealed. They weren't actively bleeding so that wasn't what he smelled so strong. He flipped her over onto her back and noticed above her eye was a big deep gash. Without thinking, he bent down and sealed the wound, bathing it with his tongue while doing so. He closed his eyes tasting the ambrosia then roared loudly as he opened his eyes to find on the opposite side of her throat was a new fresh bite mark. He had known she was injured but not bitten.

He picked her up cradling her into his arms and bent down and gently sealed the wound and then sighed as he listened closely to her heartbeat. It seemed strong and sure but he was still worried. He noticed she was shaking while still passed out so he went into her bag and pulled out a long shirt and pulled it over her body. Watching her still shake, he pulled her into the bed and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled the covers up around them both. He closed his eyes listening to her heartbeat willing her to wake up. He realized she hadn't eaten in two days and it was close to sunrise. Taking the time to carefully tuck the blankets around her, he then set out to find her some food. Spike went down to ask the owner of the hotel if there was any place close to buy her some food. He could do without blood by making due on the sips of Slayer blood he was drinking but she needed food badly. The owner of the hotel motioned to a few vending machines out back. Spike looked around to make sure no one watching then he kicked the machines hard until food and some kind of yellow soda fell to the bottom. Then he collected the food and soda took it upstairs hoping Buffy was awake.


	15. Chapter 15: Let's Try This Again

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Brittany betaed this chapter for me!

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Chapter 15: Let's Try This Again

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When he arrived he put the items carefully down on the desk and looked over the Slayer. Her breathing was steady as was her heart rate so he again crawled into bed next to her hoping she would just wake up. He took her hand and whispered against her ear, "Slayer, wake up. I don't know what the bloody Hell you were thinking out there tonight. You were just about dead before I found you. We are in this together. I promised your mum I'd keep you safe until I could bring you home and I damn well plan to but if you keep pulling shit like this… Well I don't know if I can. I shouldn't have ever bloody touched you. I'm soulless, and a monster and I just shouldn't have touched you in the first place."

Buffy's eyes fluttered as she whispered, "That wasn't why I ran. I'm just not ready. I'm sorry I ran. Why am I still alive? That big vampire he bit me." With that memory, she shot up in bed and brought her free hand to her neck feeling the wound there and flinched, "Yeah he definitely did bite me. God it hurt but I wanted to die."

Spike frowned looking at Buffy and shook his head, "You don't get to die, pet. Not when you are pathetically laying there asking for it. That's not the way things work. When you go out, you go out fighting and saving some person, perhaps even the world. You don't get to walk around looking for Death. Snap out of it, pet, because you are the Slayer."

Buffy turned her head from his eyes feeling a bit guilty for her outburst and remembering everything that had happened. She almost got herself killed as well as him and yet after all that he still saved her. "Thanks for saving me, Spike. I know I don't deserve it, but thanks."

Spike turned her head towards him and he nodded, "Don't mention it, pet. Are you hungry? It's morning now and we didn't get to go out as planned but I do have some snack food. I don't know if it's anything you like but it was all they had," Spike offered. He was hesitant to mention the whole free food thing so he didn't. She sat up a little in the bed and nodded. Spike got up and picked up what he had gotten and dropped it on her lap in the bed. She smiled up at him gratefully and picked up a bag of barbeque chips and devoured the bag within seconds only to pick up a bag of crackers and eat those as well. When she opened up the lemonade to drink and she suddenly whipped around and looked at him, "You didn't eat. I'm sorry I ruined the plans. We were supposed to raid the hospital and supposed to find us a new place to stay rather than spending all the cash on the hotel."

Spike shrugged, "Slayer blood is like ambrosia and it lasts a long time. Just a few sips equal a night of feeding pretty much."

Buffy looked at Spike and asked timidly, "Did you really kill two other slayers? Did you drain them dry?"

Spike looked away not really wanting to answer the Slayer's question. It would only start trouble and nervously he took the bottle of lemonade from her hands and took a sip. Noticing Buffy was still watching him, he took a bag of chips from her lap and opened them to take out a chip, hoping she wouldn't re-ask it but it wasn't meant to be. She tapped Spike on the shoulder, "I'm not going to stake you tonight for it. I just was curious and wanted to know how much the Watchers knew about you."

Spike frowned finally admitting, "I killed three slayers not two. I drained them all. All were fighters but you're the best I've seen. I did it for Dru." He looked down at his lap taking another chip before explaining, "The first time I killed a slayer was because I was trying to prove to Angelus that I was better than him. It was something Angelus had never done. He and Dru were proud for a few minutes. Dru was all over me and ignoring Angelus. It felt amazing but it didn't last long. So I did another one. Same reaction and it was great but by then Angelus had his soul so the competition wasn't for him, it was for other things Dru had gotten involved with. The third, I purposely went across the world to New York to kill her. It was a great victory. She was tough but not tough enough. I got a souvenir from each. The first, I got a ring but I gave it to Dru. It was a pretty little ring. She liked it. The second I got this scar on my eyebrow from a cursed sword and the third I got this duster." Spike shrugged and then stated a bit angry, "Happy now?"

Buffy shrugged too and replied, "Not really but I doubt I'm ever going to be happy again. Thanks for the food and again I'm sorry for running."

Spike still decided not to say much about it and instead spilled his plans, "Tonight when the sun sets I'd like to do three things. First find us a spot to nest, then hit up the hospital, then do a grocery store."

Buffy's eyebrow raised, "Do a grocery store?"

Spike looked sheepishly at her, "Um I guess I have to start paying for things now..."

Buffy nodded and then asked, "Will I need to find a job Spike? I don't mean to pry but I have to eat every day and I'm okay if I have to. I was working at that diner and it worked out okay. I was just curious."

Spike nodded and then said, "No need. I got lots of cash and more if needed although we might have to hit up a bank in L.A. That is, if I need more than $5,000."

Buffy gasped, "You have $5,000 on you?"

Spike shrugged not wanting to admit where he got it. He didn't think Buffy would appreciate the fact he killed robbers and pickpockets to collect the cash so instead he offered, "I figured we would need some cash to get where we needed to go so I brought some along."

Buffy yawned. Spike noticed and took pity on her "I think that's a hint it's bedtime. You lost a lot of blood in the last few days. That would probably make a girl sleepy."

Buffy frowned, "Are you hungry Spike?"

Spike looked at her kind of shocked she even asked knowing that she had nothing to give him. He shrugged, "I'll live until night fall."

Buffy nodded not wanting to say anymore and curled up in the bed thankful he had put a shirt on her while Spike undressed to crawl into bed beside her. Without asking, he pulled her to his side and she rested her head against his chest not saying a word and that's how she fell asleep with him not far behind.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Spike woke up first and looked over at his sleeping Slayer. She looked better than she did last night. The cut on her forehead was still there but not as bad as it had looked, The one on her arm, that was wrapped around his waist, looked much better; barely pink with a slight slash of red in the center. It would heal in another night or so. He wondered about the one on her back and carefully without waking her lifted her shirt to look at her back. It was healing nicely as well. There was a big bruise around the cut that looked worse than the actual cut itself.

He sighed feeling relieved that he had gotten there in time. When he had walked into the cemetery and smelt her blood, the fear that went through him as well as anger was intense. It was so intense he had lost control for a while there. All he wanted was for those vampires to suffer for hurting Buffy. The feelings he was experiencing for her were a bit scary because sometimes when he looked at her, deep into her eyes, he could almost see them mirrored back and then other times she looked like a lost puppy. He felt her wake up and whispered, "Morning Goldilocks."

She grinned and then asked, "Is the sun down yet?"

He nodded and she jumped up dragging her bag into the shower. He didn't offer to join her and she didn't mention it so he pulled on some pants and grabbed a cigarette making a note to buy a new pack when they went to the store. As he was taking a drag outside while he waited, he got to thinking some more. 'It was obvious that Buffy was really confused. I should have never drank her blood that night or if I did, I should just have drank it and not gone about making it sweet for her. Why did I make it sweet? I always knew we had that ability but I never bothered before. Everyone else I've always drained, I just did so without thinking.' Half the time, he didn't even bother to finish thinking they weren't worth his time. He had never pleasured someone with the desire to bring them pleasure even with his bite.

Something was going on with him. Someone was messing with him. It was probably Dru's talk of sunshine and destiny and stuff that was getting to him. He heard the door to the hotel open and Buffy emerged smelling of vanilla and strawberries. He smiled before he could stop himself and noticed she smiled back. She whispered, "You need a shirt. I'm ready to go when you are."

He took one last drag of the cigarette throwing it into the ground as Buffy toed it out while he went inside grabbing a black shirt and his duster responding quickly, "Ready to go, pet."

With that they went into the night to find a place to live.


	16. Chapter 16: House Hunting

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Thanks Brittany for betaing this chapter for me!

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Chapter 16: House Hunting

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Buffy was really hoping they would find something like she had found in L.A. while Spike was being pickier. He wanted something nicer for his Buffy. That other place was a dump and he figured if he was going to be staying with her, they should at least have something to call home.

He stopped by a demon bar and told her to wait outside but she shook her head. He sighed, gesturing towards the now opened door, "Come in but please don't slay people. I'm aiming to find us a place to live not to make a scene."

Buffy frowned but nodded in agreement as she followed him into the bar. She tried to look uninterested and slightly amused so she wouldn't send off any Slayer vibes but no such luck. The bartender looked straight at Spike and stated louder than Spike would have liked, "We don't serve her kind in here. She needs to wait outside."

Buffy spoke up, "What kind is that mister?"

He glared at her, "Human Slayers. We aren't looking for trouble. This is a peaceful bar."

Spike spoke up, "I'm not really looking for a place to drink and play pool. I'm looking for a place to call home for me and my slayer. Not permanently but for a while."

A strange looking demon called to the vampire and decided to offer him something to get them out of his bar, "Tell you what, you promise to not slay my type and I'll provide you with a place to live."

Buffy looked at him skeptically, "Just what is your type?"

The demon shrugged not wanting to volunteer too much information and then decided a tad wouldn't hurt, "We don't eat people if that's what you are worried about. In fact we live off vegetables. There are 25 of us in this town. We all look similar. My name is Ted and my wife here, is Lynn. We have a small house that no one is using at the moment on the outskirts of town. That work for you?"

Spike asked feeling skeptical himself, "What do I owe you for it?"

Ted shrugged gesturing with his hand that he didn't care as well, "I already told you…protection. There's a group in town that's killing us all off. In fact they are killing off everyone. Probably even kill off your misses here if they knew she was a slayer. They don't like the supernatural. So we have to stay in places, hidden. Now I'm not asking for you to kill or destroy them, just not join them and perhaps save one of our kind if you see them in need."

Spike looked at Buffy for her approval and she shrugged, "Does it have electricity?"

Ted chuckled and replied even as he let out a sigh in relief that the vampire and the slayer had agreed to his terms, "Of course. Cable, electricity, heat, air conditioning, as well as plumbing are all at the house already. We need those things to live as well. As I said before we live on vegetables so there's a small garden there too. If you don't want to care for it, I can send my nephew there twice a week while you are out to care for it. Otherwise, you are welcome to care for it and use it for food."

Buffy smiled actually liking the sound of the place, "I'm game if you are, Spike."

Spike said, "Sure am."

Suddenly a vampire stood up looking at both Buffy and Spike in shock, "You are Spike, William the Bloody, killer of Slayers and you have a pet Slayer?"

The vampire looked really surprised and Spike replied, "What of it mate? Just do me a favor. Don't spread the word to the demon hunters that she's here. We don't want trouble."

Buffy whispered quietly, "Honestly, I just want to be left alone."

The vampire nodded and sat down not sure what to make of that but deciding with them both there, it was better not to say anything at all. The demon stood up helping his pregnant wife to stand up as well and walked out the door leaving Buffy and Spike to follow.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Spike looked at the house and thought it was actually great; the best place he had stayed in since he was turned. It was a quaint house with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a small kitchen with all the essentials, a living room with a television and a small dining room with a round table. In the back was a small yard, with a garden as promised. Nothing too big but it had a few plants that Spike might have been able to remember what they were called if he sat down and thought hard enough. There were also beautiful rose bushes growing around a large picket fence. Wasn't a white picket fence but it was still nice to keep things out of the garden.

He shook Ted's hand and said that they would take it and watched Buffy's face to ensure she liked it. She seemed content as she wandered through the house. There weren't many windows, which fancied Spike just fine. The windows that were there, they could buy something for or toss blankets over them. Spike had black polish in the back of his car, that perhaps he could convince Buffy to use or maybe even something like cellophane. Spike shrugged as Buffy walked out the back door and looked at the garden. She looked at Spike and asked curiously, "Do you recognize these plants?"

He looked at her and replied, "If I thought hard enough I probably could. We had a garden growing up. It was how we got a lot of our food. Mum loved to garden until she got too sick. Then we had to pay someone to do it."

Buffy looked at the plants for a moment ticking off what she knew, "Tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, two bushes that I'm not sure what berries they grow, an apple tree back there it looks like and perhaps some other kind of fruit tree I don't recognize as well as squash. It's a nice garden and even room for expanding."

Spike continued to study her watching the emotions flood over her face and listened as Buffy softly whispered into the night, "I guess we are home."

As Spike started to walk back into the house, he hit a barrier and roared, "Bloody Hell. Buffy fix this" He motioned towards the door like it was something offending. Buffy smiled and whispered, "Come into our home, Spike."

Spike smiled at those words but was still a bit annoyed, "Before you go calling a place we are at home, best finish the statement with come in or welcome or something pet. I don't fancy being locked out of our homes all the time in the future."

Buffy looked at him and whispered, "You don't want to stay here for a while?"

Spike stopped and realized what he was saying. He in fact wasn't even thinking of her going home anymore. He was thinking of a future and he was horrified with himself and responded a little too quickly, "It's fine" as he stomped into the house and then out of front door and sat on the porch and lit up his last cigarette taking a much needed drag from it as he mumbled to himself, "You ponce. Get control of yourself. She's the slayer, man. She's not some mate of yours, or some vampire you can tote around, and you can't expect her to even give a care about you once you guys leave this place. This is all like a business deal." With that last thought, he nodded to himself repeating, "A business deal only." He didn't notice Buffy standing at the door listening.

Buffy waited until he was quietly puffing on his cigarette to come and sit down next to him. She asked determined not to let him know how much she felt hurt by his self declaration of it being a business deal, "Blood run then store run? Think there's a mall open this late?" Spike shrugged and Buffy responded eager to get settled in, "Well I'm ready to go if you are."

Spike took one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it onto the stone steps thinking he'll need to get something to collect them as he walked towards the car yelling, "Slayer, let's go."


	17. Chapter 17: Settling In

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This chapter was betaing by my beta Brittany. Thanks!

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Chapter 17: Settling In

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The hospital run went smoothly. Spike walked right in through the front door not needing an invitation and raided the blood bank taking the blood that was older and supposed to be thrown out soon. He took enough for a solid week silently thinking to himself that he will never be touching the Slayer's blood again since he obviously wasn't what she wanted. He sighed and put the blood into the cooler Buffy had thought to bring. The grocery store trip also went smoothly. Buffy got all the things she needed to feed herself for a week and then some. Spike had picked up chicken, hamburger and some good juicy steaks thinking he can help feed her. As she picked up items, she admitted she couldn't cook. So Spike picked up items he would need to attempt to make sure she ate. Things for spaghetti, cheeseburgers, fish and chips, as well as tuna casserole which Buffy admitted she had never eaten. Buffy was sure to grab some ice cream and brownie mix that she hoped to be able to convince Spike to make. Spike picked up the box and told her to grab some eggs, oil and some measuring cups. He grabbed some cigarettes, some alcohol, some sodas for Buffy, two loafs of bread, cheese, as well as some other goodies. He couldn't resist the urge to pick up a bouquet of daisies from the florist section of the store and went to check out while she was still grabbing some other items. He asked the grocer to hide the flowers in a bag so the Slayer wouldn't see them right away.

Buffy came back to hand the grocer the orange juice and apple juice. Spike smiled at her as he paid cash for the groceries and pushed the cart to the car to fill up the trunk and they went to a convenience store to pick up some other items. Spike remembered to get kitchenware, including oven mitts and even a small outdoor grill. Buffy grabbed the linen, some bathroom items, towels, pillows and some other household items including a rather large pink lamp that Spike told her to put back but after she pouted, he relented. Spike remembered to grab a few curtains and blinds to help on the few windows they did have. Lastly Spike grabbed a basket for the garden, some clippers for the flowers as well as a trowel, shovel and watering can they happened to have in the garden section. After they paid, they hopped into the car and headed back to their house.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Buffy left Spike to put away all the items in the kitchen and went upstairs to deal with the bathroom, and bedroom items. She frowned looking at the two bedrooms. One had a single bed and one a nice King size bed. In the tour, she had known that both existed but she didn't really think much about where they would sleep. She sat down on the bed debating. She had gotten sheets for both but she really wanted to sleep in the big bed with Spike. She sighed not wanting to ask and seem weak so she made up both beds but put more comforters on the large bed. She realized they would eventually need clothes because even with the laundry stuff she had bought, she had only bought a few items and she had seen Spike's bag, which held three shirts and three pairs of pants as well as 3 pairs of socks. He hadn't planned to stay away any longer than she had. She knew they would need something more than they had brought. That would be a job for tomorrow. Perhaps she could go out when she woke up and make sure they made it out before 9 when the clothes stores in town seemed to close.

She quickly put the toilet paper, the extra toothbrush she had bought for Spike after seeing he didn't have any, and the two bottles of hair dye into the bathroom. She had picked them up on a whim realizing she would need to dye her hair soon and after a discussion with Spike, she had picked up a bottle of his favorite as well. She had never thought to ask how he did his own hair when he couldn't see it. She shrugged and headed downstairs after putting up the curtains and blinds in the larger bedroom and ignored the one in the guest. Buffy frowned at herself wondering just when it had become the guest room. She shrugged and skipped downstairs smelling the delicious scent of tomatoes and garlic.

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Spike had picked some tomatoes from the garden and decided to make homemade spaghetti sauce. It had been forever since he had cooked which is why he had picked up a cookbook from the store. He had a few things he loved and couldn't live without and those he knew how to cook but to be honest, he hadn't had much practice at all. The only times he had cooked were when Dru had left him for another demon of some sort only to fall into the routine of stealing when she returned.

He took a taste of the sauce but frowned not knowing what it would taste like to human taste buds. He yelled, "Love, come here. I need you to taste this, please."

Buffy came in eagerly because it had smelled so good. She had been working in the living room hanging curtains and blinds in the one window it had. She opened her mouth as he lifted a spoon with some sauce on it and had blown on it making sure it didn't burn her mouth. It was such a sweet gesture that Buffy smiled. She tasted the sauce and closed her eyes in ecstasy. Sure, her mom had cooked but God, Spike's cooking was enough to give a girl an orgasm. She opened her eyes to find Spike's blue eyes staring at her and she smiled and spoke softly, "Very, very, good. To die for in fact."

Spike chuckled looking a bit embarrassed, "I hope not, pet but this will be done in about 15 minutes if you want to try to set up the dining room."

Buffy went over and took the table cloth she had grabbed at the last minute and set up two plates, two cups, and a mug for blood. Buffy had never watched a vampire drink blood but Spike had asked for him to have two mugs specifically for blood rather than using glasses. She could respect him for the fact she didn't want to look at the red liquid in a glass. She went and opened up the container of silverware and placed a spoon and fork next to her plate and Spike's. She looked at the table and realized she had set them up so they were sitting side by side rather than across from each other. 'Was that appropriate? That's how my mom had always set the table once it was only just the two of us.' Buffy shrugged figuring Spike would tell her if it bothered him and went into the kitchen to see him humming a tune and heating a bag of blood in the microwave.

She grabbed a soda from the fridge offering it to Spike, "Want anything to drink from here?"

Spike replied while still busy with the pot of sauce, "A beer please. Can you take this bag to the table? Oh it's blood…I understand if you don't want to."

Buffy took the bag without question, looking at the liquid inside of it. How could someone drink that? It was thickish and a dark red in color. For a second she was tempted to open it up and taste a tiny sip but figured that it wasn't human food obviously. She shrugged and sat down in her seat as Spike brought in the noodles and a saucepan.

He smirked as he stated loudly, "Dig in while it's still piping hot."

Buffy didn't have to be told twice. All she had had in two days almost three was some chips and crackers. This looked divine. She took a bite of the noodles that she had poured sauce over and closed her eyes for a moment enjoying the flavor. Spike watched her and smirked, "How is it?"

Buffy opened her eyes and looked at him admitting, "Definitely good." After saying that she was quiet and stuffing her face with the noodles. She watched as Spike got his stuff ready. He vamped out to open the bag of blood and poured it into his mug taking out a little baggie that Buffy looked at him curiously but didn't say anything. He noticed and replied, "It's burba weed. It helps with the flavor."

Buffy nodded and continued to eat, enjoying her meal too much to really bother to ask questions. She then watched as he took a helping of noodles out and poured some sauce over it. He took a bite of it after he twirled it around on his fork using his spoon to ensure he got it on there and closed his eyes apparently enjoying the flavor as much as she was. She smiled at him as he met her eye and he smiled back taking another bite. Then he vamped out and took a few sips of blood only to unvamp the second the mug left his lips. She found this sexy and couldn't resist smiling down into her plate. She finished up her meal and he finished up his and took both their plates to the kitchen rinsing off the dishes. Adding soap to the dishwasher, Spike also added the dishes to run through the night. He then opened up the fridge to put the leftovers away and Buffy rested on the doorframe watching him. Buffy found herself thinking, 'He looks so human it wasn't funny. Perhaps there was more to this man than meets the eye.'


	18. Chapter 18: Adjustments

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Betaed by Brittany!

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Chapter 18: Adjustments

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He turned around with his hand behind his back and he smiled and looked both nervous and embarrassed, "Here. I saw these and thought of you." Buffy took a whiff of the daisies and smiled, placing them in an empty jar of tomatoes that Spike had used to supplement the sauce. She carried them up to the bedroom putting them on the windowsill up there and Spike followed her upstairs without a word and questioned, "Want to watch some television before sleeping, pet?"

Buffy nodded still feeling a bit awake. Spike handed her the bag he had brought upstairs and went to walk back out of the room with his and she asked a bit surprised, "Where are you going with your bag, Spike?"

Spike turned around and looked at her, "The second bedroom. You had the daisies in this one and had it fixed up so I figured the second bedroom which needed blinds and curtains still was mine." Buffy shook her head and he responded, "Oh, you meant to share this room with me then, pet?"

Buffy nodded hesitantly and he looked into her eyes as his flashed gold then blue again, "You know I'm a bad man right Buffy? I'm a master vampire meant to kill people. Just because I'm taking care of you right now, doesn't mean I'm not a monster and haven't killed more people than you have met in your lifetime. You sure you want that in your bed?"

Buffy thought for a minute about what he said, 'Am I sure that I want that in my bed? Well maybe not but I do want Spike and sometimes he acts so human.' She decided to voice that last thought out loud, "Sometimes you act so human."

Spike got a little angry with her words and walked over gripping her arm to make her look him in the eyes, "But, Buffy, love, I'm not human. I'm a bloody vampire." With saying those words, he vamped out and continued, "I'm a master vampire who has killed slayers. I might look human sometimes but they made us that way to be able to lure people in to allow us to kill easier. It doesn't make me human, just an able killing machine. I want to make sure you know this. I'm like Angelus is, no soul. Granted I haven't tortured or raped like him. I would have just killed you and not tortured you by killing off your friends but I'm still soulless, as you like to call it. I have no Heaven to work towards. Either way I'm dust."

He shrugged and peered into Buffy's eyes as he unvamped but his eyes still flickered from gold to blue, "So I'll hold you at night every night even if you say no if you let me into your bed. I won't rape you but I'll expect you to allow me to touch you, to at least hold you and some day we probably will shag. So you want me in this room or not?"

Buffy bit her lower lip and nodded not even taking the time to think about the consequences. She needed the comfort he offered. She needed to feel she wasn't alone. She hated the times in L.A. that she had spent crying alone and at least this way she wasn't really alone at night. It was enough for now.

He nodded not saying another word, pulled his shirt off and belt, leaving on his pants. Took off his boots and socks and then walked over to Buffy kneeling down as she looked in shock. He pushed her back to sit on the bed, as he pulled off her boots and socks then yanked down her pants. He left her shirt on and underwear but tugged on her hand guiding her downstairs, grabbing the comforter off the spare bed to drag with him. He sat down on the couch picking up the remote and placed Buffy down next to him. Buffy sat there in shock, not knowing what to think as he covered them both with the comforter and chose a channel for them to watch.

Buffy smiled kind of liking this side of Spike and turned to bend her legs over his. She lay down on her back to rest her head on her arm and turned her head to watch the television. Spike looked down at her and readjusted the blanket over her legs and chest as he rested his hands on her thighs making gentle rubbing motions as together they watched the show he had chosen. Within an hour, he heard her snoring softly so he turned the television off and wrapped her in the blanket to carry her upstairs. He gently laid her on the bed and covered her with the blankets making sure she was warm then took off his pants and crawled in next to her. Having gotten her permission earlier to hold her as she slept, he pulled her close to him and smiled as she moved to rest her head on his chest. She even wrapped her arm around his waist and moved her leg up to rest on his legs. It almost seemed second nature to her even in sleep and that thought made Spike smile. He chuckled a little, shaking his head at what their lives had become and closed his eyes, welcoming sleep.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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It was dark and cold outside. She wrapped her arms around herself to fend off the chill. She walked through the cemetery through the gravestones watching for signs of a new grave. Suddenly she spotted one and gasped at the name on the grave, "Angelus Aurelius. Master Vampire in Sunnydale." She watched in horror as a hand grabbed her, pulling her into the grave as she heard his voice echo through her ears, "I'll never forgive you for killing me. You must die like me."

Buffy yelled, "No, No!" as she was pulled further and further into the grave. Suddenly she felt arms around her to save her and she opened her eyes to see the brightest blue eyes whispering, "I got you. You're safe. It's just a dream."

She really opened up her eyes and saw the brightest blue eyes and heard him really whispering things to her, "I wish I could take your nightmares away but all I can do is keep you safe and sound." He had her on his lap and had wrapped his arms around her as though trying to protect her from whatever she was seeing. She sniffled realizing she was crying. Spike whispered, "What did you see pet?"

Buffy sniffled again and whispered, "I was standing at Angelus' grave and he was pulling me under saying he'll never forgive me. Then you were holding me, saving me."

Spike smiled at that then frowned realized he was her hero in her dream. He never meant for that to happen or maybe he had. He continued to hold her close and rock her until she whispered, "Thank you, Spike, for being so good to me" before she fell back to sleep.

He laid her back down onto the bed pulling her with him and did some thinking, 'What is it you want with the girl because right now you aren't acting very vampire-like, mate. You are holding her and being her hero. A slayer and a master vampire cannot work. Just look at what happened in her past. Whoa, stop right there, mate. You aren't Angel or Angelus. You aren't some bleeding ponce that was cursed with a soul who can't afford to get happy. Good thing too because you are mostly a happy person. But that's not the point. This girl in your arms is looking at you like a hero and to make matters worse, you're falling and probably are in love with her totally and completely. What will happen once you get back to Sunnyhell? Can you really expect her to never miss her family and friends? She's 17 years old and so far her life has sucked. You don't want to be responsible for another heartbreak. At the rate you are going you fool, you are going to do just that. You weren't a bloody good enough vampire for Angelus to respect you as his grand-sire, and you weren't vampire enough for Dru to love you and you won't be human enough for Buffy to love you. You're a bleeding nothing. Not good enough to fit in either world.'

He sighed and slipped out from her hold and went downstairs to have a cigarette. As he was taking a drag, he was tempted to take off. That's how he always handled his problems. He would either take off or kill it and then the world would be right again. Perhaps if he just sucked it up and killed Buffy, his world would make sense again.

He frowned realizing that wouldn't help and he would only end up hating himself for that. Perhaps taking off would be the right thing to do. Just driving off into the night and forgetting he even saw her here. He frowned noticing the sun was in the middle of the sky so eventually it would be hitting the back porch. He was playing with death by sitting outside. He sighed, flicking his cigarette into the stone pot he had found in the house and opened the door wishing it was darkness. He could go out and do a spot of violence and surely he would feel more vampire-like after draining some bloke dry or just snapping his neck just because he could. His thoughts were broken as he heard Buffy whisper, "Spike, what's wrong?"

He turned around and saw her hair all messed up, dark circles under her eyes and her face still tear stained from earlier and she was holding her shirt closed which made it ride up on her thighs even more so than normal. He closed his eyes fighting the urge to jump her. Without thinking he punched the wall making a hole in it and when he opened his fist, he saw it was bleeding. He welcomed the pain and embraced it until he heard Buffy gasp and rush past him into the kitchen bringing back a wet paper towel to wash his wound. He pulled his hand away from her and yelled, "Stay the Bloody Hell away from me."

She gasped and shook her head not understanding. He roared in anger vamping out and slammed his other fist into the wall trying to get rid of the anger he was feeling. Buffy, not understanding, just stared at him watching the anger on his face and she didn't understand what could have happened while she was sleeping to cause it. Finally Spike started pacing yelling at himself, "You're a bloody ponce man. Dru should have killed you not turned you. You were never bloody master vampire material. You tried so hard to be but never had it in you. Sure you killed but that's just vampire hunger not master stuff. You had minions but that was just being more powerful and knowing how not to bloody well not turn people properly. That was about the only thing you could do right. Angelus never respected you and saw you as a fool and a pathetic boy. Dru always wanted her daddy or some other demon that was bigger and better at the time but never you. She could never love you. She was too busy loving her precious Peaches who didn't even have the ability to love to bother with you. And now you're messing with a Slayer and now you don't fit in her world either."

With that statement he punched another hole in the wall watching as the blood started to flow again. As long as he was bleeding he would have something to focus on other than his thoughts but they still flowed through him, "You should just walk out into the sunshine like Dru said and dust yourself. Come on mate, let's go do what Dru said."

He suddenly walked towards the door and he heard a loud, "NO!!!!!!!!" that came from Buffy's lips as she tackled him from behind and wrestled him to the ground. He had mostly forgot she was still there.

He looked at her with eyes pleading with her, "Can't you just let me go? I'll leave you the car and you can even keep the money." With that he put his hand into his pocket and dug out the cash and threw it in the air so it fell over them and he kicked his feet up making her fall back against the cabinets. He stood up and she stood up as well ready to fight him.

She punched him in the face and he growled just as she threw a fist and hit his nose as well. He kicked her in the stomach causing her to fall backwards again and then kicked her knee making her flinch but still she managed to get up again. She tripped him with her legs then jumped over his leg that he lifted up in hope to trip her. He got up quickly and threw a fist into her face making her lip swell. She spit out blood and as the smell hit his nose he stopped.

He backed up to stand in front of her and was horrified at what he was about to do. He ran upstairs and slammed the door shut to their bedroom and locked it to be alone. Buffy stood there for a moment letting his words digest before reaching into the freezer and pulling out an ice cube which she put against her lip that was killing her. She took out a washcloth and dumped a few more ice cubes into it and heated up some blood into a mug using a knife to open it the bag. She sighed and brought some wet paper towels with her as well and grimaced as she walked up the stairs noticing her stomach was killing her. She knocked on the door and when she heard no answer she turned the doorknob. Noticing it was locked, she kicked the door full force causing it to bust open and slam across the room, hitting the wall. Spike turned around from the spot he was staring at on the wall and demanded, "What the bloody Hell do you think you are doing you stupid bint?"

Buffy went and stood in front of him taking his hand and starting to clean his hands as he roared. She couldn't tell if it was from anger or pain so she continued. He roared again and yelled loudly, "Aren't you scared, Slayer?"

She shrugged, "Kill me if you want. You'd have a lot of chances."

She continued to clean the other hand now then put his hands together to rest the ice on top of them. Spike sighed and turned to sit down on the bed. Buffy sat down next to him asking gently, "Want to talk about it?"

Spike shrugged, "Not sure what to say. I'm worthless but I'm sure you gathered that from my little speech. Dru told me I wanted to be in the bleeding sunshine. She never loved me you know." Buffy looked surprised but said nothing. Spike shrugged again continuing, "I used to think she wasn't able to. I used to pretend that she just wasn't capable of feeling love. That Angelus had twisted her mind so bloody much that emotions like that were just impossible but that wasn't true either. She loved Angelus. She dealt with me because I was all she had for a while but she never loved me."

Buffy sat quietly then crawled over to her side of the bed and crawled into bed. Spike taking the hint, laid the bag of ice on the floor and drank the mug offered to him and enjoyed the feeling of his wounds feeling less painful. He reached across the bed to pull her close and heard her grimace. He then remembered he kicked her in the stomach so he lifted up her shirt and frowned seeing the huge bruise on her stomach. He reached down and gently laid the ice on her stomach for a few minutes. They both laid on their back in silence not saying a word. Then she reached over and lifted the bag of ice off her stomach and onto the floor and rolled over to lean her head against his chest and got comfortable. He said nothing as he wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. They apparently both were still adjusting and needed time.


	19. Chapter 19: Time

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This was betaed by Brittany

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Chapter 19: Time

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Spike woke up and realized it was much later than he thought. It was probably closer to 10. He figured they slept in due to their midday battle yesterday that took away some of their sleep.

He watched Buffy sleep. She looked so perfect when she wasn't tossing and turning. He sighed knowing if he was going to leave, this was the time but he found he no longer had the desire to leave anymore. He was needed here. This was something that he knew. Dru had needed him for years too. She didn't want him but needed him and being needed was something he could do okay with.

Buffy snuggled closer but still slept on. He brushed a golden lock from her face and smiled noticing the roots were brown and now her hair looked more tipped in blonde rather than truly blonde.

He sighed still not knowing what time would bring for the Slayer and himself. He'd like to think happiness but the relationship was hardly going to bring either of them joy. But perhaps they could heal each other in time. Spike felt her stirring and whispered, "Morning Slayer."

She smiled whispering in return, "Morning Vampire."

He rubbed his fingertips over her slightly cut lip and placed a gentle kiss there. Buffy gasped at the sweet sensation of such a gesture and was very moved by it. He stared into her eyes for a moment then felt her arms go around his neck as she pulled herself to him for a deeper kiss. He returned her kiss feeling his erection respond against her leg but Buffy still pulled him closer deepening the kiss even more.

Spike reached down her back to gently pulled her shirt up to rub over her back gently teasing her breasts. She gasped and pulled back a little giving him full access to her breasts as she continued to kiss him. He teased her breasts and she moaned at his touch and then moved back from his touch as he felt her shirt trying to be lifted off.

He sighed realizing she was pulling away to stop it and he immediately dropped his arms by his side. She sighed as well, "I'm sorry, Spike. I'm just not ready."

Spike nodded not saying another word but got up to pull his pants on. She didn't look and turned around and grabbed her bag to head into the shower. Spike kicked the edge of the bed in frustration. He needed violence or to get laid. He needed something badly. He just wasn't used to a life without such things. Buffy wasn't giving him either because he would feel bad for hurting her and shagging wasn't an option unless he would decide to break his word for once. But without his honor, he was no one.

He kicked the bed again for good measure then heard the bathroom door open signaling he could take a shower as well. He saw her walk into the bedroom with only a towel and he nodded to her and took his bag heading into the bathroom to shower himself. He sighed not sure how much longer he could hold up in this place with her walking around when he knew what was under things such as towels but he decided to wank off then lathered up for a quick shower.

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Buffy admired his handsome chest as he pulled the shirt over his head. She began to wonder if she really was ready. Angel was haunting her dreams but that could go on for forever. She really liked Spike, and she was thinking it really was love she was feeling. Not pathetic puppy dog love like what she felt for Angel. She didn't want to die for him and wouldn't die without him right now but she would and could see herself staying with him for a long time.

It was a bonus that he had no soul to lose. Another bonus was he seemed to care about her and that wouldn't change after a night of passion. He wouldn't change and kill her friends although he might do it now but it still wasn't changing. He wasn't going to draw her in some strange obsessed fashion while she slept. Those were all good things.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked okay. She needed to re-dye her hair but perhaps tomorrow she will offer to do his and he could help with hers. That would be a great together activity that was fairly safe.

She sighed feeling so restless. At least at the other house she was constantly fighting and working off energy. She turned to Spike and spoke with a sigh, "I'm restless."

Spike grinned thinking he was feeling the same way and offered, "What would you say to a nice dinner out, and then some violence."

She looked curiously at him, "Violence? Like Slayage?"

Spike smirked and nodded. She looked surprised at him, "You want to slay demons?"

Spike shrugged, "Well they aren't my vampires here and I can hardly let you go alone with your stupid death wish that you have over your head. Besides you heard Ted, there are hunters out there. More importantly though, I'm dying for a good ole fashion batch of bloody violence."

Buffy smiled and nodded, "Sounds good. Where to then?"

Spike responded, "We can take the car around and find a nice restaurant still serving this late. Hopefully there's one in town."

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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They were in luck actually. It was a demon restaurant but it served human food as well. Buffy's tingles were going off all over the place and for once it wasn't just Spike's signature. The restaurant was full of vampires and other demons.

Buffy ordered chicken cordon blue and Spike ordered a rare steak and a bottle of red wine. Buffy had never drank before so she shrugged saying she'd try it. Spike noticed her uneasiness and whispered gently trying to calm her nerves, "No worries, pet. This place is a demon restaurant that serves actual blood not humans. People are here just to eat and enjoy a partner's company not to cause you any trouble."

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes trying to calm her slayer senses. Spike reached across the table and took her hands in his to try to calm her down. She felt a strange sense of calm come over her and the tingles weren't so bad. She smiled grateful at him and asked him, "So you really don't mind killing your own kind?"

Spike shrugged, "I'm a vampire. I just like a good spot of violence. It's different when you need the minions but like I said, these aren't mine and secondly, I have no use for minions right now. I'd just love a good fight to get the blood going and get feeling like a vampire again. No violence is making me edgy hence why we fought last night."

Buffy nodded and replied, "I feel the same way too. Well not less of a vampire but I get all this energy inside that I need to get out somehow and besides slaying vampires makes me feel good because I'm saving the world one vampire at a time."

Spike smiled at that statement and their food was brought along with the wine. Spike smelled the wine and nodded as the waiter carefully poured a glass for each of them. Buffy questioned, "How do you know about wine?"

Spike replied, "Been around 120 years and you learn a lot, pet. Also I was a gentleman. We learned things like that."

Buffy turned the bottle and read, "Pratt Winery."

Spike watched her and decided it was time to let her know about him a tad. "You once asked about me before I was turned," Spike picked up the bottle and handed it to Buffy studying her reaction carefully, "This is the factories I own. I own wineries, in Europe and they manufacture wine such as this one."

Buffy's eyes got wide as she looked at Spike in a new light. Spike couldn't help but smile at her reaction. Dru and Angelus never cared about his past but Buffy seemed interested so he continued, "My name was William Pratt. I was 27 years old when I was turned. There was a party I was invited to. I was mostly invited because of my status but I was invited nonetheless. I wrote poetry back then. Apparently it was bad poetry but my mum always seemed to like it. Well that night, I decided to take a chance because my mum had said it was a good idea, so I read my poetry to Cecily. I thought I loved her back then. Every piece of poetry before that point was about her and how much I thought of her and what she looked like. Yeah, I was a real bleeding ponce when I was turned. But that night after someone snatched the poetry written for her, from my hand and read it aloud, she made fun of me. I ran out of the party upset. Drusilla offered me a way out. The pain was so bad, I accepted. I was introduced to Angelus after I had staked my mum. My life changed. Angelus tried to teach me how to be a good vampire but I was a disappointment. I guess I had too much emotion or humanity. Doesn't matter now though. I realized now I'll never be a good vampire and I've just have to learn to accept it."

Buffy didn't say anything and instead took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it as he finally looked down at this food and began to eat a few bites. Buffy's plate was mostly finished as she had been eating off and on while he was talking.

She whispered softly, "While you finish eating, want to hear a bit about me life?"

Spike nodded feeling curious about this slayer he was feeling so much for, "Sure pet."

Buffy took a deep breath and started her story, "I was born in L.A. I wasn't born a slayer as you know. In fact when I was little, I was a normal little girl. My mom was Joyce and my dad was Hank. They seemed happy enough and we were mostly a happy family. They fought sometimes but not much. I was an okay student but nothing fancy. I'm not sure looking back if it was because I didn't apply myself or because I was just preoccupied. Life was good until I got called to be a slayer. My watcher was Merrik. I was a cheerleader, and fairly popular. I had a good life but slaying changed all that. Suddenly at the age of 15, I was in charge of slaying vampires. I had to spend my nights patrolling and my after school time training. I had no time to spend with my friends or with cheerleading practice. I became more and more alienated. I met up with a guy named Pike since my other friends wouldn't talk to me. He was a good friend but then Hell broke loose. There was a demon, Lothos."

Spike met her eyes and whispered, "I met Lothos once. I heard a slayer did him in but had no idea it was you."

Buffy nodded but continued, "My watcher Merrik sacrificed himself to protect me from Lothos. I eventually defeated Lothos but had to burn down a gym, which got me expelled. Since I couldn't return to school, I ran away with Pike."

Spike eyed her, "You make a habit of running away don't you?"

Buffy glared at him not saying a word. After a short pause she continued, "We were looking for vampires but eventually we had to come home. I was only 15. My parents had heard about me burning down the school and I tried to tell my parents I was a vampire slayer but they didn't believe me. They locked me up in a mental institution for a few weeks. Didn't even check up on me until I was released. It was a horrible experience but we don't talk about it anymore. My parents fought and fought over what to do with me, finally they divorced which caused me and my mother to move to Sunnydale."

Spike finished the last bite of his food and asked, "Want some dessert, pet? We can keep talking."

Buffy nodded and asked hopefully, "Chocolate?"

Spike laughed with a slight nod, "Okay, chocolate is it." The waiter came over and took the plates away after Spike had asked for Chocolate ice cream for Buffy.

Buffy settled back into her seat and stated calmly, "I died once."

Spike raised his eyebrow at her, "If you died pet, you would have been a vampire to be around still."

Buffy shook her head proudly, "Nope, Xander did CPR on me. That's why Kendra was called. You know, the slayer Drusilla killed."

He nodded not saying anything about that topic, then finally said only a minute before her ice cream arrived, "Well I think you might outlive the other slayers. You got friends watching your back and now me. That's enough to keep any slayer alive."

Buffy actually giggled, "Well considering I got the vampire who killed the most slayers sitting at a restaurant table with me feeding me ice cream, that lowers my death rate a bit."

Spike chuckled shaking his head and reached over snagging a bite of her ice cream. She finished her ice cream and got up, "Yay violence time!"

Spike laughed and paid cash and took her out to find a cemetery to get some violence in himself.


	20. Chap 20: Violence Is Good for the Soul

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Just wanted to take a minute to thank all my faithful readers and reviewers for helping me to be a better writer and for encouraging me to continue writing. If it weren't for you guys, I would have probably stopped already. I'd also like to thank Brittany my beta who has stood by me for two stories so far. Thanks everyone!!

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Chapter 20: Violence is Good for the Soul

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Spike dropped kicked the last vampire in the cemetery and looked over at Buffy who pushed the hair from her face and tried to brush the dust from her clothing. Just then he was caught from behind and flipped over into a tombstone as Buffy was faced with a big football player sized vampire. She kicked at him making him falter on his feet but he got up fairly easy for a heavy guy. He taunted her, "You cheerleading type are pathetic. I dated a cheerleader once. She was a sweet little thing and actually prettier than you."

Buffy kicked him in the stomach, which only made him laugh. She sighed and punched him in the stomach, which again had no affect on him. He picked her up over his head and threw her down on the ground and quickly fell upon her. His weight was horrible and the wind was knocked out of her as she struggled, trying to gain some ground to throw him off. Just then she felt more weight on the guy as she felt dust cover her body as she looked up and above her was Spike. His blue eyes were peering into hers and he reached up to wipe the dust from her face and gently traced her lips with his thumb.

She leaned up and kissed him hard on the lips wrapping her arms tightly around him to pull him against her. She moaned into the kiss as Spike rubbed his erection through his black jeans and into her lightweight tan pants that were covering her legs. She moaned and arched her hips to meet his thrusts and was lost in the sensation. He kissed down her neck sucking gently at the blood on her neck to leave a hickey right above the spot he had bitten her. He kissed further down and ran his hands under her shirt pulled it up to have access to her breasts.

She lifted her back to help ease her shirt up and over her breasts and kissed each one through her bra. She moaned and ran her fingers through his hair pulling his head closer to her breasts. He reached around and unclasped her bra with one hand and immediately started kissing her nipples with his mouth while teasing the other with his hand. She was shuddering under him enjoying every touch and feeling he excited in her.

She was so lost in the sensation she didn't notice the demon behind Spike until he had slammed down on Spike's head causing him to squish her. She screamed without any thought and Spike jumped up ignoring the blood seeping out of his head and kicked the demon. He was a yellow green color and had weird hair. He growled at Spike and Spike growled back and the demon backed off. Spike growled something else to him and the demon bowed and turned around and left. Buffy looked at Spike and demanded, "What the Hell was that?"

Spike replied rubbing a hand to the back of his head, which had him groaning as he noticed it was covered in blood, "Ted's family. He heard your moaning and thought you were in trouble. I guess demons don't moan when in pleasure or something. He saw a vampire getting it on with a human and thought he'd help save her. I merely told him we were together. He looked at you standing behind me ready to protect me and believed me. He apologized. I told him to send Ted a hello so he left us alone."

Buffy looked amazed, "I didn't know you speak different demon languages."

Spike shrugged, "Hobby of mine. I had to do something with my 120 years on Earth and with Dru running around sometimes, I took up cooking and learning languages. Also broke into the Watcher's Council place once to learn about slayers."

Buffy shook her head and wrapped her arm around Spike after straightening up her shirt and re-clasping her bra looking a bit embarrassed, "Perhaps next time we are in the moment, we should make sure we aren't in a graveyard."

Spike laughed and yelled, "I'll race you home." Buffy grinned and didn't reply and instead took off running. Spike yelled after her, "No fair Slayer. That's cheating!"

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Buffy got home first and started stripping the second she got in the house. She left her shirt at the door, her bra at the bottom of the stairs, her pants on the steps and her underwear on the doorknob to their bedroom. She climbed into bed naked grinning knowing she was ready. Spike climbed the stairs collecting her clothes while removing his yelling, "Fee, Fie, Foe, Fum, I smell the blood of my slayer, um."

Buffy giggled at his silliness and shouted, "I'm waiting!"

Spike crawled onto the floor and since the lights were off, she couldn't spot him. She was used to the tingling sensation of him being close so when he jumped up onto the bed to pounce on her, she screamed and he smothered her face with kisses to shut her up. With her heart already racing from being scared, she was quickly lost in his kisses. His kiss was so good and hot that she moaned his name as he kissed down her neck admiring the hickey he left earlier and moved to the other side of her throat and his inner demon growled at the mark on her neck left from the dead vampire. It was a tiny mark but still visible to his keen eye. He sucked the skin to leave a hickey in an attempt to mark her to make her belong to him.

She moaned and wiggled a bit encouraging him to kiss lower to find her breasts already taunt and eager for him. He could clearly smell her arousal and teased and nipped at her nipples driving her crazy. She moaned his name over and over again and moved her hands down to his cheek tracing circles around his nipples. He moaned as she slipped her hands lower and was nervous. Spike stopped and looked into her lust filled eyes whispering, "Buffy, love, are you sure you are ready for this?"

Buffy nodded and whispered, "Very sure. Please make love to me. I'm just nervous. I've never seen a guy naked. I've never really touched a naked guy other than his back. I didn't do any of the work so I'm not sure I am any good and I don't know what to do."

She looked so nervous he immediately kissed her whispering between kisses, "You can touch my body and learn. I'm sure you will be bloody perfect pet. Only do what you want to do. Don't feel obligated to do anything. I don't mind doing all the hard work. Just not into pain. Been there, done that and I don't get off on it."

Buffy smiled and whispered, "Me neither so we are equal there." With that she dropped her eyes down between them to see his erection and gasped whispering softly, "That won't fit in me."

Spike smirked and smothered her with kisses promising, "It will and it will feel good I promise."

Buffy trusted him and leaned back at his request and he kissed her breasts again and sucked on her nipples, kissing down her stomach until he reached her hair line. She sat up watching his mouth as he split her legs open a little further then put them on his shoulder whispering, "I want to taste you, pet. It smells so good; I can't wait to taste it. It will also make sure you are really ready for me."

Buffy leaned back onto the bed trusting him as she felt him blow across her clit and she arched her back at the feeling. He smirked and leaned down to take her clit into his mouth and suck on it. She moaned loudly moving her hands to hold his head closer so he couldn't move. He was really thankful he didn't have to breathe because of how tightly she was pressing him to her clit. He continued to kiss, suck, lick and nibble at it driving her crazy. He then moved down and inserted his tongue into her hole. Buffy arched her hips high and he had to keep a firm hold on her legs to keep from her jumping off the bed.

She could feel bruises forming on her legs but didn't care. This felt so good as he continued to move his tongue in and out of her hole. God, she never knew that sex could feel like this and suddenly she felt her muscles tense up and she knew she was going to get off with his mouth down there. She yelled to warn him, "I'm ready to cum, Spike."

He grinned at her admission and whispered against her clit causing air to blow across it, "Cum for me Buffy. Cum for me, only for me."

She tensed up and her leg muscles squeezed his shoulders tight as she orgasmed moaning out his name. He continued to suck on her clit and began to pump a finger in and out of her prolonging her orgasm until she shouted, "Please, I need something else, I need a break."

Spike crawled up her body and stopped touching her only to give her a mind-blowing kiss. She could taste herself on his lips but didn't care. All she knew is she wanted him like never before. She arched her hips trying to find him to enter her. He stopped kissing her and put a finger against her lips whispering softly, "Shh pet, easy does it. Let me do it gentle like. You've only had one thing in there and it wasn't as big I'm sure. So it might hurt but I promise it will feel good once I'm in there. Let me take it nice and easy for you okay?" Buffy nodded and he whispered, "Now don't move."

Buffy nodded again moving her hands to run them through his hair and down his back trying to feel his skin under her hands. He suddenly moved his erection against her hole and she tensed up in fear. He sighed knowing this would be bad if she was tense. As he tried to enter her, he leaned down and kissed her again feeling her relax as he slipped the tip inside of her. She moaned and fought the urge to arch her hips and instead let him take the speed. He lowered himself a little more then stopped allowing her body to adjust. He did this a few times until he was almost all the way in. He then whispered, "Don't move, it's time."

He slipped out of her and she moaned at the lost of contact and he gently thrust forward slamming himself totally into her. She moaned out in pain and pleasure as she clawed her nails down his back. He could smell his blood and felt her began to wiggle under him testing the feel of his body inside of hers. He took the hint and began to slowly move in and out. She whispered, "Oh God, this is better than I imagined."

Spike moaned in response, "You are so hot, so tight, so beautiful and so perfect."

Buffy and Spike started to move to the same rhythm driving them both closer and closer to the edge of an orgasm. He reached down between them and rubbed her clit frantically trying to bring her to orgasm at the same time as him. She whispered, "Spike, bite me." Spike shook his head having made a promise to himself not to do that again after the last time she reacted but she was persistent, "Please Spike, bite me. I need you to bite me."

Spike sighed knowing he wouldn't be able to give in and then he felt Buffy do something he never expected her to do. She raised her head up and bit his neck drawing blood. This brought out his demon fully and he vamped out slicing her neck with his fangs on the side that the other vampire had bitten her on and roared a, "Mine!!"

Buffy moaned in response and started to orgasm. Spike took a few sips of her blood roaring loudly, "Mine. Buffy tell me you are mine."

Buffy didn't reply and continued to orgasm and the demon tried one more time, "MINE! Tell me you are mine!"

Buffy didn't realize what she was doing but knew Spike needed a response and she managed to answered in a raspy voice, "I am yours...always."

She then orgasmed again and Spike followed her into an orgasm as he roared out, "Buffy!" He was still vamped out for the first few minutes after their release as he lay gently on top of her with his elbows supporting most of his weight, as he licked her neck wound gently.


	21. Chapter 21: Never Bite Off More

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As you can see Brittany returned from her break and did some reading. Yay Brittany! This was betaed.

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Chapter 21: Never Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

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She was exhausted and closed her eyes as Spike unvamped and shot out of bed in an angry fashion yelling, "Damn it, Damn it, Bloody Hell, Oh God, Bloody Hell. What have we done? What I have done? Oh God this is so not good. Bloody Hell my life just keeps getting worse and worse. We will probably be killed for this." Then he paused in a frantic voice, "There's hope. It's only a way sided claim. I just won't renew it and therefore you won't be claimed to me. We just can pretend it didn't happen. That's the best plan."

Then he turned to Buffy in an angry voice and roared at her, "Why the Hell did you have to bite me Slayer? Do you have any idea what that does to a vampire? Bloody Hell now we are mated. Do you know what that means?"

Buffy shook her head frantically not having a clue what was going on, 'Why was Spike so upset? What was going on? What did I do wrong? Was I really bad? Why won't he look at me?' Spike was tempted to slam his fist into the wall but he still hadn't repaired the broken door to the bedroom or the holes in the wall he had put there the previous night. If he kept putting holes in the wall at this rate he would have to rebuild the whole fucking house. He sighed and continued to pace until he bumped into a naked Buffy.

She was standing in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest glaring at him. Spike looked at her roaring again at her, "Why the bloody Hell are you glaring at me? You're the one who bit me."

Buffy stated in a matter of a fact tone, "Well I wanted you to bite me but you refused."

Spike was getting angrier, "Well when you bite a vamp, you can sure as Hell count on being bitten back."

Buffy yelled back, "I wanted to get bitten. You did exactly what I wanted."

Spike roared now very angry, "My demon bit you pet. Not me. Do you know what that means?"

Buffy shook her head not understanding any of this. One moment she was almost asleep in his arms and the next he's standing in front of her. It was like Angelus all over again and with that thought she fell to the ground and started sobbing.

Spike looked at her sobbing form and melted. He scooped her up in his arms and took her shaking and sobbing form back to bed and hugged her tight against his chest until her sobbing stopped. He smothered her face with kisses trying to make her feel better. She looked up at him noticing he was being sweet to her again and looked into his eyes trying to figure out what had been wrong with him. After getting nowhere, she whispered, "What happened that was so wrong?"

Spike tensed back up being reminded of what had happened but said nothing. Buffy whispered, "Please tell me. You said your demon bit me. You were vamped out last time too. What is the difference?"

Spike sighed knowing he needed to tell her. This involved her as well. She had a right to know what had happened and the results but he was suddenly very tired. He hugged her tight and whispered, "Can we sleep first, pet? I'm exhausted, you're exhausted. Please? I promise when we wake up, I'll tell you, okay?"

Buffy nodded feeling very tired. He gave her a kiss whispering, "We were wonderful by the way. It was perfect. You were perfect besides the biting part but I'll explain why in the morning. Just know you were perfect and I can honestly say, in all my 120 years, I've never had better. It was passionate, hot, sexy and everything it should be with no pain only pleasure. You, my love, were perfect."

She whispered, "It was the same for me too. You're so perfect and pure. If I wasn't so tired I'd ask you to do it again."

He laughed, thankful she didn't notice his slip but she had noticed it. She just had decided to file it away and smile about it, afraid that if she mentioned it, he would have taken it back. She sighed and snuggled up closely in his arms and closed her eyes, "Night night, William."

Spike smiled at her using his name at the perfect time as he whispered back, "Night, Buffy." Both were asleep within minutes.

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*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

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Spike woke up first, which he was thankful for. It gave him time to think. He hugged Buffy tighter against his chest and placed a little kiss on her forehead then got up to go downstairs and smoke a cigarette while he did more thinking. He knew by now when she would wake up, she would go downstairs to find him. If all went well he could do his thinking and sneak back upstairs before she was even up. He just really needed this cigarette to think.

They had slept the day away after their busy night and it was now just about nightfall again. He sat on the front porch looking out at the almost dark sky blowing smoke rings. He thought about their perfect night together and what he had done. 'I claimed a slayer. What are the odds in that? I don't exactly know what it means but it's bad I'm sure.'

In the watcher dairies it mentioned slayers being killed for such actions and he never wanted that for his Buffy. He could protect her but only if she would let him and once they got back to Sunnyhell, he wasn't sure she would allow that. As his cigarette was almost done, he made a decision. He would talk to her as an adult. Tell her what he knew; let her say her piece before making a decision. He walked up the stairs carefully picking up Buffy who was still snuggled in the same place he left her and set her head to rest on his chest and her arm automatically wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to her as she whispered a soft, "Spike" before drifting back to sleep. He smiled brushing a lock from her face. He was so tempted to wake her up by making love to her again.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips testing to see how she would respond and she responded well by moaning into his mouth and returning the kiss. He rubbed his hands down her arms and she wiggled at his touch. He moved his hands to her front, teasing and pulling on her nipples as she gasped and moaned finally opening up her eyes whispering a soft Spike into his mouth as she continued to kiss him.

She decided to be brave and move her hand down to try to grasp his erection and gasped at the size remembering he was right it did indeed fit in her and it had felt so wonderful. Spike moved one of his hands down to rub her clit feeling how wet she was already. He had no doubt she was already ready for him but he wanted to make sure she wasn't too sore.

He gently pushed a finger into her and she flinched a little but got over it quickly arching her back and hips so he slid a second finger in. She didn't even flinch at all this time and whispered, "Please I need you inside of me. Just like last night."

He smiled and kissed her on the lips as he moved over her and positioned himself. He slid easily in this time, only having to thrust back and forth twice before sliding all the way in. Once he was in, she moaned in pleasure and thrusted her hips up against his to make him move. He obliged and he teased her nipples giving her kisses while she raked her fingers down his back and pushed his butt against her hips trying to make him enter her even deeper. He grinned and sat up in bed pulling her against him. At this new angle, she could feel him reaching even deeper into her and moaned, "Oh Spike, it's so good."

As she shuddered and moaned at every touch and thrust. She closed her eyes feeling close to getting off and he whispered, "Don't close your eyes love, I want to see you when you cum for me."

This time Spike had a little more stamina than she did and watched as she shuddered as he moved one hand down to rub her clit frantically. She immediately responded and came for Spike moaning out his name as he watched the play of emotions over her face and body. He continued to move and she began to move with him after a few minutes of catching her breath and she whispered, "I want you to cum with me and bite me again."

Spike chuckled but sadly shook his head, "Buffy, I would but we need to talk before any biting takes place." Buffy didn't say anything and nodded feeling herself grow close again. He whispered in her ear, "If you cum for me, I'll cum with you though."

Buffy smiled at that and Spike nibbled on her earlobe, which earned him a slight squeal as she started to shudder warning him she was close. He again started to rub her clit and moved his face down to bite on her nipples staying away from her neck and she seemed to like this as well because next thing he knew she was orgasming and squeezing him so tight, it triggered his own orgasm. He roared out her name as she moaned out his and together they laid down onto the bed with him on his back and her on her side snuggled up enjoying their bodies shuddering in aftershocks.


	22. Chapter 22: What Mate Means

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**Chapter 22: What Mates Mean?

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Buffy whispered against his chest, "What a perfect way to wake up. What a perfect way to go to sleep. I think things are just perfect."

Spike chuckled and pulled her closer, "We still have to talk, love. You know that right?"

Buffy nodded but wanted to put it off. Whatever it was seemed bad since it upset Spike so much and she was enjoying the closeness she was feeling towards him and his cheerful demeanor too much to risk upsetting it. So instead she said, "Can you fix me breakfast first? I'll help. I'm just so hungry."

Spike growled and gave her a kiss then said, "What are you hungry for? Pancakes okay?"

Buffy nodded as she admitted, "I don't know how to make pancakes."

Spike grinned and stood up pulling her up beside him, "Then I'll teach you. Everyone should know how to flip a pancake."

Buffy looked down and noticed she was naked and leaned over taking his black shirt from the floor and put it over her body covering it from his sight. He smiled at her and pulled on his pants. Buffy watched him pull his pants on and was amazed at how nicely his erection fit inside even though she wasn't sure it would. He chuckled watching her gaze and pulled her hand to take her down into the kitchen. He had her get out the eggs and measure the water. He showed her how to stir it and how much to pour into a frying pan. She watched as the batter bubbled and then he showed her how to flip it. The next one she tired and managed to make a mess spraying batter everywhere after flipping it too soon. He laughed and poured another and then went about cleaning up her mess. They made six pancakes, the last two of Buffy's turning out quite nice. As they ate, Buffy watched as Spike heated up blood and poured it over his pancakes as though it was syrup.

She didn't say anything and neither did Spike. Both sat there eating in silence with Buffy sipping juice and Spike sipping coffee. When both were finished, Spike collected the dishes again and carefully put them into the dishwasher to wash them and then he turned to her, "OK talking time, where do you want to talk?"

Buffy thought about it and pulled Spike out to sit on the bench next to the small garden so she could see the stars. Spike got up for a moment and went inside bringing back with him his duster and a blanket. He draped the duster over his shoulders and wrapped the blanket around them both as Buffy rested her head against his shoulder. It seemed so perfectly normal as he slipped am arm around her back and pulled her close.

Spike then decided to talk, "Last night when you bit me, you encouraged my demon to come out. What that means, love, is that I sort of lost control of my actions. I know I didn't hurt you but with my demon in control it decided you were its mate. Honestly I don't know how it decided that but I'm guessing between my feelings and sex and you biting him, that's what it decided. So when I bit you, it was as a mate would bite its mate so I claimed you. Know anything at all about a claim?" Buffy shook her head saying nothing, so Spike continued, "Honestly I don't know a whole lot. I do know it has to be reciprocated which it was and it should be two-way for it to really work. One way doesn't do much. I can find you anywhere, which is nice but other than that, nothing special. It will wear off in time if I don't renew it since it's new and only one sided."

Buffy spoke up, "What happens if I do it back? If it's two sided?" Spike frowned for a second thinking about that. He was lost in thought as she whispered, "Do you not want it anymore?"

Spike answered truthfully, "I've been thinking about that since I woke up. In a way I want it more than anything but it puts us both in serious danger for quite a few reasons. If and when you return to Sunnyhell because we both know you will have to, and if your watcher turns you in, the Council will be after you to kill you. They don't like their slayers being mated or even involved with vampires. I'm surprised they didn't kill you for Angel but I guess he was some messenger or something for the Gods so he was exempt. I still say that clause should have been fixed by the powers-that-be before sending him after a beautiful girl but I won't go there. It also means if I were to be dusted, it would probably kill you if it were two sided. The way it works now is I die when you die but not the other way around. Also time apart hurts and it gets worse with time. Two way is completely irreversible. It's not like a divorce can occur. Some even believed back when it was popular to mate, that it world continue after death but I'm not sure about that. I read that somewhere. With a one way, I can't really protect you as well as with a two way but I think you're safe this way. I didn't mean to claim you. I honestly hadn't even thought about it before. But I kind of like the idea. Perhaps it's because I'm lonely and sad and so are you so we match up well. Whatever you decide Buffy, I'm behind you 100%. If you decide to just keep my one way open so you can always have someone when you need them, then I'll respect that. If you want it to totally fail, I'll respect that as well too. If you want it two-way, I'll be more than happy to oblige but I'm leaving it up to you, my love. It's your choice."

Buffy's mind was spinning but she still needed something more, "What are the benefits of a two way claim? Do you happen to know?"

Spike shrugged, "You'd have less ways of death. You'd be stronger if I read the Watcher Dairies right but they didn't really care about talking to the Slayers to see the effects. They were much too busy destroying the couple. By the way, they also destroy turned Slayers so don't consider that either."

Buffy smiled stating, "I don't plan to be turned."

Spike nodded in relief, "Well other than the finding thing, I don't know. It would be a learning experience for us both. But I'm leaving you to think about it."

Buffy nodded decided to give herself time, "Can we just turn on television inside after we weed and water the garden which needs it by the way, to relax here at the house so I can think?"

Spike nodded and he got off the bench to help with the gardening.


	23. Chapter 23: A Time To Think

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Of course more chapters means Brittany was busy!

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Chapter 23: A Time to Think

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Buffy thought hard while Spike watched a rerun of _Passions_. Spike was saving her life here and giving her hope for the future but did she really want her future at 17 to be with him. She honestly never imagined living to be 17. She snuggled a little closer to Spike and smiled as he automatically tightened his hold on her while watching _Passions_. She began to wonder how much was because of her and his feelings for her or just because he was used to it with Dru. She decided before she could make a decision she would have to ask him about it and since it was a commercial it was perfect timing, "Spike?"

Spike turned towards her, "Yes, pet?"

Buffy took a deep breath and asked sounding more brave than she felt, "How much of what happens between us is because of habits and how much is because of your feelings towards me?"

Spike let out a sigh noticing it was still a commercial so he couldn't get out of it that easily, so he turned on the couch to face her fully taking her face in between his two hands as he spoke. If he was going to talk of feelings, he might as well be honest. It wasn't like she was going to judge his relationship with Dru after all, "Buffy, love, Dru and I weren't anything like you and I. It's hard to explain but take our love making. Hers was full of pain mixed with pleasure and it was more of a control play and not gentle. Sitting here with you, Dru would have been making noise, or busy with her dolls or sitting on me to tell me something. There was no 'snuggling' as you call it. Does that answer your question?"

Buffy nodded noticing his show was back on and went back to her thoughts. She wasn't worried so much by the actions as she was more about the responses. 'When I lean against him, he'd lean back and pull me closer. When I kiss him, he'd kiss me back with such passion. Was that just normal Spike or was that because of his feelings towards me? I wish I knew.'

She started to compare him to Angel and then realized that wasn't fair because Angel didn't really have passion. What he did was more so for loss of control. Spike had only lost control with her once and he was horrified it happened and was down right mad it happened. That made her think even harder. 'What does Spike want from me?'

She looked over and saw his show was still on for another twenty minutes so she continued her thought process smiling slightly as Spike bellowed at the screen, "She's lying to you mate. Can't you bloody tell?" She wondered about all these layers of this vampire by her side. He was a killer and didn't hide it. His past was horrible, and again didn't attempt to hide that either. He was a master vampire, and again didn't attempt to bury it inside of him away from her prying eyes. But he also had feelings and passion. He had compassion for her. Perhaps she was just a lucky soul that he cared about. Perhaps it didn't go any further than that. He did keep his word to Ted about not harming his kind, even when the demon attacked him. So he is true to his word. He did say that one day he loved her. 'Did he really mean it or was that just something he whispered thinking I'd never hear it? More importantly, do I love him?'

How do you know that answer? She used to think she knew what love was but now she was questioning. She needed to talk to someone about what love was. She hesitated a moment and turned and asked Spike, "Can we invite Ted and his wife over for dinner tomorrow night?"

Spike turned and looked at her a bit shocked but nodded, "Of course."

He turned to watch the last few minutes of the show. She was impressed. She didn't know if he would say no but more importantly she had forgotten his show was on. Her father used to yell at her mother for interrupting his shows yet Spike turned towards her and answered her. Surely that was a good sign right? The ending credits of Passions were on and Spike turned towards Buffy with a grin, "Want to go do some damage again, love?" Buffy nodded hoping to get out some of this built up energy out of her.

He grabbed her hand dragging her upstairs and she whispered softly, "Can we try the shower thing again? Do you mind?"

Spike chuckled, "Sure thing pet. Just no running out in the middle of it. I don't fancy another death scare."

Buffy didn't say anything remembering the feeling of the vampire on her neck draining her and shuddered. He wrapped his arms around her remembering the same scene and whispered against her ear, "I won't let anything like that happen to you again while you're on my watch."

Buffy nodded and pulled the shirt over her head and took off towards the shower not even bothering to bring her bag with her. Spike jogged past her hopping out of his pants as he reached the bathroom door. He stood in the doorway watching as Buffy tested the water temperature and turned around with a big grin plastered on her face as she motioned for him to come here.

He scooped her up putting her under the water and climbed in after her. She grinned and looked him up and down so that she didn't get scared again at the end like last time. Spike noticed and smiled at her. He whispered, "Turn around, pet, I want to wash your hair first." She turned around and he ran his fingers lightly through her hair making sure the water had wet it evenly. Then he squeezed the strawberry shampoo into his hands and lathered her hair up, massaging her scalp. She moaned at the feeling realizing this is something she could get used to forever. It felt amazing and she felt herself relaxing leaning up against his chest as he massaged her hair. Finally he whispered softly, "Close your eyes, pet, if they aren't closed. It's rinsing time."

Her eyes were already closed so she merely had to tip her head under the water and again she felt Spike's hands caressing her scalp. She moaned again whispering, "God that feels good."

Spike smiled but she couldn't see it then he whispered, "Just wait until I wash your body."

Buffy giggled making a quick split decision, "Let me do you first?"

Spike laughed at what she said and nodded. He bent his knees a little so she could reach the top of his head and she lathered up his shampoo for color treated hair and took a whiff smiling. A tad bit fruity but mostly soap smelling. She lathered up her hands and tried to mimic what he did for her and he groaned so she figured she must have been doing something right. She continued until he groaned again and she whispered, "Close your eyes."

His eyes were already closed as he as enjoying the feeling of her fingers running through his hair and she gently helped his hair come clean. Now came the harder part. She took a deep breath and watched as Spike straightened up to stand before her handing her the washcloth and soap. She ran the cloth under the water and used the soap to work up a really nice lather. It smelled very soapy. She didn't recognize the smell but it smelled fresh and clean. The scent filled her nose as she rubbed his shoulders and neck making sure to clean it completely. She asked him to turn around first and he did so bracing his hands on the shower walls. She smiled as he spread his legs a little giving her full access to do whatever she wanted to do. She liked how much he trusted her so she caressed his back with the cloth making sure every inch of his back was massaged with soap and well clean. Then she knelt down to clean his butt enjoying the feel of his muscles as she rubbed over them.

She watched as he flexed the muscles and she placed a gentle kiss on each buttock unable to help herself. It was just such a sexy butt. Then she rubbed her cloth down over his legs and his thighs carefully avoiding any frontal parts and finally stopped at his ankles giving them the wash down. She then took his hands and turned him around watching as he backed up into the water to clean off his backside then stepped forward to allow her to clean his front side. She took a deep breath and looked down determined to make it this time.

He smiled at her encouraging her but not pressuring her as he let his hands lay by his sides. He was going to let her do this herself and she was really grateful. She redid his shoulders and neck to buy time before caressing down his chest and rubbing over his nipples. She watched the tiny buds harden into little peaks and she grinned placing little kisses on each one before using her cloth to caress his sides and stomach as well. Spike was groaning and his eyes were closed in pleasure. She smiled and rubbed her cloth down his legs, gently rubbing over his feet and then as he lifted them up, she gently used her fingertips to massage them making him groan again in pleasure. He gently put down one foot and then groaned again as she massaged the other only to put that foot down.


	24. Chapter 24: Shower Fun

Another betaed chapter thanks to Brittany. Enjoy!!

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Chapter 24: Shower Fun

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She knew what part of him was left; he opened his eyes knowing it too and spoke gently with reassurance, "Pet, you don't have to do this."

She whispered softly putting a finger in front of his lips, "I want to. I have to."

He nodded and closed his eyes to make her less nervous as she knelt down and ran the washcloth up his legs. Before she washed it, she placed a gentle kiss on the top, causing Spike to whisper, "Bloody Hell that felt amazing."

She grinned feeling more power sweep over her as she gently brought the cloth down and grasped his erection in her hand and pumped it with the cloth. He groaned and leaned back on the shower wall for support. She liked the feeling of this power over him and brought up her other hand to gently cup his balls while she continued to pump him. He hissed in pleasure and couldn't resist putting his hands in her hair in encouragement. At this point she didn't mind because she wanted to try something new. She looked up at him nervously, "I want to try something. I don't know if I'll like it… I've never... Well… It would be my first. Will you tell me if I do something wrong?"

Spike looked down at her with love shining in his eyes, "You can't possibly do anything wrong. Buffy, but if you do I'll tell you. But I'm sure this will feel good. You don't have to."

She licked him from bottom to top to shut him up as he hissed in pleasure again and his grip got a little tighter in her hair but still not tight enough to hurt her. She smiled and opened her mouth to take his erection in. It wouldn't go too far in. It was even bigger than she imagined, so she wrapped her hand still around the bottom she couldn't reach and licked and swirled her tongue around the tip while her hand pumped him while her other hand massaged his balls. He groaned out her name and was losing control rapidly, "So hot, so perfect. God that feels so good. Keep it up pet, just like that. Wow you're a natural. God so amazing."

His words were seriously turning her on as well and she moaned around his erection and he thrusted his hips just a little but immediately stopped himself as to not to hurt or force her. She swallowed and took a little more of his erection into her throat. She grinned finding this trick and swallowed a few more times relaxing her throat and Spike went wild. He was rubbing his fingers through her hair, groaning her name over and over again. She licked the top and swallowed again taking the last bit of his erection into her mouth. She then focused on licking and massaging his balls and then moved her head up and down and Spike roared, "Buffy, now."

Buffy took no chances and began to swallow immediately while he orgasmed into her mouth She managed to swallow a lot of it but some still dribbled down her lips down to her neck.

When he had finished he moved her face under the water to wash her face and smiled up at him whispering, "Was it okay?"

Spike pulled her up for a kiss whispering, "Ok? That was bloody perfect. Best ever." Buffy blushed and he grinned, "Give me a minute to get the strength back in my legs and it will be your turn, pet."

Buffy smiled at that and rested her head against his chest giving him those few minutes while both of stood under the water. Then he gently moved her under the water to make sure her body was all wet and then took her sponge and poured the vanilla smelling soap into it and whispered huskily, "Turn around, pet. I need to wash your back."

She turned around knowing she loved the feel of his hands on her. She had enjoyed it so much last time. She closed her eyes and swayed a bit when he started to rub her shoulders. He looked a little worried, "Pet, turn around." She protested a little and she heard him whisper softly, "Do you trust me?"

She knew he wouldn't hurt her so she turned around and he pulled her against his chest to rest her body against him as he reached around her to gently caress her back. She enjoyed this way of washing so much more than before. She moaned as he massaged her back and made her relax. He then bent down while pulling her hands onto his shoulders for support and rubbed the back of her legs with the sponge careful to stick to only the back. She spread her legs a little bit and tilted her head back in pleasure as he worked his way up her legs gently massaging everywhere he touched. Her body felt like jello and she was so thankful she was holding onto him for support.

He then reached the tops of her legs and instead of cleaning where she wanted, he went and started to massage and wash her stomach, then up to her breasts. He spent a lot of time on her breasts, massaging them, teasing the nipples, pulling on the nipples gently, then used his mouth after rinsing her to suck on them making them into little pebbles. He had her moaning so loudly that he thought she might even get off on just that. He made a mental note to test that someday and then moved up to her shoulders to massage and clean there.

She threw her head back and he was so tempted to bite her but instead gently washed the area smiling that at least his one-way claim mark had completely taking away the mark of the other vampire who had bitten her. He then kissed his way over her breasts pausing to suck on each nipple then kissed her stomach, pausing there to tease her belly button with his tongue. He then finished with finally kissing her hairline before spreading her lips and couldn't resist taking a full lick of her down there.

She screamed immediately starting to cum and yelled out his name. He grinned and sucked up her juices and when she was dry he carefully used the sponge to clean the area even while she was still shaking from aftershocks and she was holding onto him so tightly he thought she was going to collapse.

He stood up then and she swayed and almost fell but he caught her wrapping her legs around his waist as he kissed her and reached over to turn off the water. He lifted her out of the shower tub and stepped over the edge himself to gently stand her up and reach for their towels. He toweled himself off first quickly and then took careful time to towel her off making sure she was completely dry.

She smiled at how much care he was giving her and squealed when he lifted her back up into his arms. When back in the bedroom he placed her down in front of her bag to get dressed for patrol. She put on a tight pair of pants that were sensible yet comfortable and a red tank top. He put on his normal black attire with an extra red shirt in case she needed his duster for warmth. Both put on boots and they were ready to go. He told her to sit down on the bed and he gently took the brush she was ready to use, and brushed out her hair carefully. She closed her eyes again loving the feel of him brushing her hair. He gently twisted it half up and requested, "Hair thing?"

She looked confused but handed him the barrette she was holding in her hand and felt him easily put the barrette into her hair. She was curious about how she looked as he fluffed her bangs and smiled at her kissing her nose, "You look perfect."

She rushed into the bathroom to see how she really looked and was amazed that he had done her hair even better than perhaps she could. She looked at him curiously and he shrugged, "Dru was sick when we first arrived in Sunnyhell. I would help fix her hair."

She nodded a little thankful Dru had taught him some of the finer points she enjoyed about him and without thinking took his hand and he grabbed his duster and out they went.


	25. Chapter 25: Unexpected Help

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This chapter was betaed by Brittany.

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Chapter 25: Unexpected Help

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Patrol was great. This place was hopping with vampires. Apparently some local vampires really enjoyed making vampires rather than killing people. She and Spike had a race going to see who could dust the most vampires. He yelled out, "15, love. How about you?"

She laughed and said, "14, ooo make that 15. We are tied!!"

Spike laughed bragging, "Nope 16 by the tree."

She pouted seeing no more around her.

Just then she said, "Oh, there goes one, I'll be right back!"

Spike laughed watching as she ran after one just to keep up with his 16. They had found two nests and the adrenaline was high and they were in great spirits. He saw another two vampires and went to kill them thinking Buffy must have found more wherever she ran off too. He dusted those two and got tackled by large a demon covered in hard red scales. He paused and noticed it was not the ones they were supposed to let go so he threw a punch into its face grimacing as he felt the scales cut into his fist. He then used his feet to kick the demon to knock it down determined to use his boots to do the hard work rather than bust his body up anymore.

The demon roared and pushed him off him and he landed across the tomb and it crashed and immediately the demon was back on him. Spike kicked his legs up holding the demon still by the shoulders then let go as his feet crashed into the demon's stomach sending him flying. Spike hopped up and jumped over to him and couldn't resist punching him twice and howled and instead stood up and hopped on the demon's stomach. He finally picked up a piece of the broken tombstone and knocked it over the demon's head knocking him out. He took the tombstone piece again and swung it hard knocking the head off the demon and watching as both sank to the floor in a mess. He wiped his hands on the grass below him and kicked the demon for good measure.

It was then that he noticed Buffy had never come back. He closed his eyes trying to use the claim on her and roared realizing it wasn't strong enough. He had only bitten her once and while she had responded correctly, it wasn't strong enough. He roared out, "Buffy!" hoping by some miracle she answered. No such luck. He roared again and suddenly he felt a presence he recognized, "Dru" as he turned around to come face to face with his ex.

She was standing there in a red gown with ruffles around her shoulders and brand new heels on her feet. She whispered to Spike, "My dark prince needs me."

Spike shook his head annoyed, "You're off your rocker, pet. I don't need you. I need my bloody slayer back. Where is she? Do you know/"

Dru answered in a sing-song voice, "The Slayer needs us. She is hurt and scared. I came to tell you she would be taken tonight."

Spike looked around and roared, "Well you're too bloody late aren't you Dru? She's already been taken! Do you know where?"

Dru swayed looking up at the stars and then suddenly stopped and spoke gently, "You need help. The warriors have her."

Spike blinked, "Warriors? Where do the warriors have her pet?"

She danced around again whispered, "The sunshine is in trouble and the stars are telling me that we are needed. My dark prince is no longer mine. He's lost and will not have tea with us anymore. My poor dark prince is alone."

Spike sighed and started to walk away muttering, "I so don't have time for this."

Then he heard Dru respond softly, "She's chained up with the warriors. They don't know what to do with her. She's scared and needs us."

Spike turned around at the 'us' part and repeated, "Us?"

Drusilla nodded and repeated, "She needs us. She's lost and confused."

Spike sighed getting rather annoyed and scared because it appeared Drusilla knew something about his Buffy that he didn't and she's a loony and was often so cryptic it was hard to read her. He put his hands on her shoulders and repeated, "Where is the Slayer?"

Dru sang, "Tick Tock goes the clock. Sunshine's time is running out."

He looked up and noticed daylight was coming soon and he took a hold of Dru's shoulders and geared her towards the direction of his and Buffy's house. He heard a, "Unhand her."

He turned around to see the demon that was with Dru, standing behind her in a fighting stance. Dru swayed as Spike let go of her and then she turned around to the demon and rubbed her fingernail down his face to whisper, "The Dark Prince needs our help, Todd. His sunshine was in trouble."

Todd looked at Spike and shrugged, "She wouldn't shut up about you and your sunshine so I brought her here. She promised it wouldn't take too long and she still wanted me. She is persistent when something bothers her."

Spike nodded understanding, "You'd bloody believe it. So how's it working out with you two?"

Todd shrugged, "Just fine, I guess. So what is your sunshine?"

Spike laughed but then turned sober, "I think she must mean the Slayer. She was fighting with me and she isn't here. I'm guessing something took her. She mentioned warriors so I'm thinking the same demon hunters we heard about from our friends. I need to talk to Ted and the sun is rising. I guess you can come back to the house tonight as long as you promise to not repeat where we are to anyone in Sunnyhell."

Todd again shrugged and Spike was getting kind of annoyed by his carefree spirit but he could see why Drusilla would like him. She hated structure and he seemed strong enough and cared enough to deal with her issues. Spike turned stating praying he didn't regret it, "Come on Dru and Todd."

They followed as Spike led them home.

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Spike sighed not liking this one little bit but said, "Come in, Dru."

Dru danced over the barrier and came in grinning, "My dark prince's home and his sunshine. It's so pretty."

She admired the flowers Spike had bought for Buffy and then looked at the towels. Spike took out some blood from the fridge and offered Dru some who frowned. Spike tried to explain, "It's human, Dru. Just bagged up convenient like."

Spike decided to heat her up some anyway and took out the second mug and filled it up to heat her a mug as well so that she didn't get hungry and end up eating some human to result in Buffy taking her out. That's the last thing Spike needed over his head. He didn't like the idea of Dru being here but definitely didn't like the idea of Dru snacking and then getting dusted either. She was only trying to help after all. He just hoped when this was over with; they would go back on with their life far away. The microwave dinged and Spike took the mug out and handed it to Dru. Dru took a whiff of it and vamped out drinking it down. He then heated one up for himself as he went over the phone and dialed Ted's number.

Ted didn't have much to say. He agreed Buffy was probably with the demon hunters. Said they shoot on sight and ask questions later. They never take hostages so the likelihood of a hostage situation wasn't high but he said he knew something that might know their headquarters. Spike thanked him and said to call back with any leads. Spike then vamped out drinking his blood down and felt emptiness inside of him. He was scared for Buffy and for himself. He needed her. Dru rubbed her hands over his shoulders in a calming motion, "The stars say she's alright for now. Just sleeping. The sunshine isn't in the sunshine anymore. She's safe in metal."

Spike sighed not understanding some of what Dru said but guessing she was comforting him with pleasant news so he sat down on the couch to wait for the bloody phone.


	26. Chapter 26: The Hunted

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Another chapter betaed by Brittany!

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Chapter 26: The Hunted

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Buffy woke up to a splitting headache. Her head was killing her and she found herself chained up. She knew it was an office because all there was in the room was chairs and a desk. There was a file cabinet along one side and even a computer on the desk. It really looked like a normal office only no windows in sight. The door was closed and she was alone. She yanked on the chains but couldn't get them loose and her head was killing her. She screamed, "Let me out of here!!"

No one answered her though. She screamed again and again but no one seemed to be around. Tears started to fall, as she felt so alone. She closed her eyes trying to feel Spike but she had never claimed him so she was really alone. 'Why would someone chain me up only to leave me alone? How did I get here?' She tried to think about the events that lead to her chaining but she couldn't remember anything other than vampire slaying with Spike and how much fun it had been. She sighed whispering, "Spike. I need you." She knew no one could hear her and she cried even more struggling against the bonds until she cried herself to sleep feeling tired and weak.

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Dru whispered while sitting on the couch, "Hello."

Both Todd and Spike looked at her weird until the phone rang and both nodded knowing that is what she meant. Spike raced towards the phone and Ted was on the other line, "Got some news for you, Spike. The demon hunters don't go out during the day but they should be out again tonight. Their headquarters are near the center of town in the sewers. My friend said he sees them go in everyday but he doesn't want to start too much trouble so stays out. We are peaceful creatures so we don't like causing fights. Anyway, if your girl is with them, she's probably in there. Not sure why they would take a hostage. I've never heard of them doing that before."

Spike replied, "Thanks, man. Owe you one."

The demon replied, "Nah you didn't kill Jed when he ran into you and attacked you. We are even."

Spike replied still on edge eager to find Buffy and bring her home, "Right man. Ok I got a while before sunset. When I get my girl back, she wanted to invite you and the misses to dinner if you are interested."

Ted sounded surprised, "What is she cooking?"

Spike laughed into the phone, "You got it all wrong, I do the cooking. She does the setting of the table."

Ted laughed really loud at that one, "A vampire cooking. That's a good one."

Spike shrugged but realized Ted couldn't see it and instead said, "Well I like food. Some of it when cooked well tastes great. If I want to survive with my mate, then I have to cook."

Ted replied, "Well call me whenever you get your girl back and we will make a date of it. We can bring dessert. My wife makes a mighty fine apple pie and brownies."

Spike smiled at that, "You're on. See you soon mate."

Then they exchanged goodbyes. Spike turned into the living room to find Dru and Todd curled up on the couch sleeping. He realized he was tired too and decided to lie down even if he couldn't sleep to at least attempt to have strength for tonight. He walked upstairs realizing how empty things looked without Buffy. He looked at the bed and finally let the tears fall. He missed Buffy so much. He hoped she was okay. He was going to make whoever took his Buffy away from him pay. They would have to die. He shrugged off his duster and fell onto the bed fully clothed and with tears falling down his cheeks, and fell into a fitful slumber.

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Buffy woke up to the sound of someone demanding, "Who are you?"

Buffy blinked trying to focus her eyes, which hurt so much from crying herself to sleep and tried to talk but her mouth was all dry and her throat was hoarse from screaming earlier.

The guy questioned, "You're human right?"

Buffy nodded and he handed her a soft drink from McDonalds with a straw in it. She sucked it greedily feeling hungry since she hadn't eaten since before Passions. She sighed and replied hoping to sound normal enough, "I'm human. I'm just a human girl. What do you want with me?"

The man repeated himself, "Who are you?"

She shrugged then realized that wouldn't get her anywhere, "Buffy. I was in the cemetery with my boyfriend and you attacked me."

Honestly she couldn't really remember but she had a good idea they did do exactly that. The man replied coolly. "You were attacked by vampires. You were fighting them fine though. You were bitten by one. He marked you. I was wondering if you were some kind of weird half breed we hadn't run into before."

Buffy spit at him, "I'm no half breed. I'm a high school student or I was until I ran away. Now let me go!"

She struggled against the bonds and he chuckled, "You aren't going anywhere until we let you. Those are shackles strong enough to hold even the strongest of demons. We've tested them so relax. We get to ask the questions. Now why were you able to fight off the vampires?"

Buffy sighed and replied without thinking, "Self defense classes plus karate."

The man nodded obviously satisfied with that answer, "I can believe that. So why are you marked by a vampire? You get attacked? Is it dead? Or is it still after you? Are you sure you aren't some half-breed? I've never seen a human marked and live through it."

Buffy repeated herself, "I got bit, and the vampire dusted himself by falling on a branch which is how I first leaned that they existed. I'm not a half-breed. He just died before he could finish killing me I guess."

The man nodded again, "Well get comfortable. We are keeping you here until we figure out what to do with you. The boss plans to see you in a few hours at nightfall. He's at his normal job right now. Want anymore of this soda?"

Buffy nodded and she drank as much as she could stomach knowing she was still starved. He threw the rest of the soda into the trash and walked out of the room leaving Buffy again in silence in the dark, alone. Tears began to fall again as Buffy struggled against the bonds holding her only to lead herself into an exhausted sleep missing Spike like crazy.


	27. Chapter 27: Rescued

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**Betaed by Brittany

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Chapter 27: Rescued

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Spike woke up to Drusilla singing love songs to Todd and wanted to stake himself, "Bloody Hell, Dru! I'm trying to sleep here."

Dru grinned as Spike came down the stairs and she leaned towards him and whispered, "Time to catch the sunshine."

Spike replied, "Bleeding hell women, are you trying to get dusted?"

He looked outside then and noticed night had fallen. Apparently the 'sunshine' was referring to Buffy again and he looked towards Todd, "You coming?"

Todd nodded and Dru smiled and spun around using Todd's hand as a pole as she leaned her head against his chest. Spike mumbled to himself, "I hope this is fast. I don't think I can take much more of this."

Todd looked at Spike and asked, "Need weapons?"

Spike shook his head, "Nah they are humans more than likely that have her. If not we can regroup and I'll take you up on your offer."

Todd nodded and took a gun from the back of his car just in case. Drusilla stared up at the stars all dreamy eyed but didn't say anything. They followed Ted's directions to where he said the underground offices were in the sewers. Drusilla whispered, "The walls remind me of Sunnydale. They whisper to me that the Slayer is still safe."

Spike smiled back at Drusilla and she smiled back as Spike led the way. They stopped at a corner as Spike peered around it seeing two guards standing near the door. Spike without a second thought, walked up to them, vamped out. He had one killed while Drusilla played with the other. He shrugged leaving it with Dru as he continued inside.

It was quiet inside, too quiet so he kept walking as he sensed his Slayer was near. He roared in excitement as he heard some scurrying behind one of the doors. He came face to face with a demon hunter who held a gun cocked at Spike. Spike growled declaring, "That won't kill me mate."

The man grinned, "No, but it will hurt," and with that he shot Spike in the leg. Spike roared again and grabbed the gun from the man's hands and threw it aside and kicked the man back into the door only to break his neck leaving the body there as he stepped over him to open the door he was blocking.

Inside was a man standing and talking to Buffy saying he didn't plan to let her go since he didn't know what she was. He shook his head and demanded loudly, "Get out of my way."

The man refused and took a shot at Spike but missed. Spike took the gun and rammed it into the man's head killing him in an instant. He then roared glancing towards Buffy, "Let's pull on these together. Ready? Now!"

Together Buffy and Spike yanked on the left chain breaking that one then did the same to the right and she was free. She fell but before she could hit the ground, Spike had scooped her up into his arms and was jumping over the bodies. He reached the door and Buffy turned her head to the side as Drusilla finished licking her fingers clean and was kissing Todd. Buffy wiggled in his arms, "Put me down Spike. Why is Drusilla here and who did she eat and why isn't she dead?"

Spike held her tighter and replied, "She helped. She's eating your captives, pet. The ones who chained you up and were leaving you for dead. Want me to let them kill you next time, love?"

Buffy shook her head but was shaking now with confusion. Drusilla leaned over squishing Buffy to place a gentle kiss on Spike's lips whispering, "Bye bye dark prince until we meet again."

Then she leaned over to Buffy and whispered softly, "Take good care of my Spike, dear." And with that Todd swept her off her feet and was out of sight.

Buffy turned to Spike and asked tentatively, "Where are they going?"

Spike shrugged but still offered, "My guess? Brazil or somewhere else."

Buffy nodded but said nothing as he carried her home.

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Buffy sat in the living room with Ted's wife, Cara. She was very pregnant and Buffy and her were told to sit in the living room while Spike made dinner. Ted hung out with Spike to have guy-bonding time. This was what Buffy was hoping for. She really wanted to know what love was and figured someone in love could tell her. She was still confused about how she felt about the fact Spike killed the men who were holding her. She turned to Cara and asked curiously, "How long have you been with Ted?"

Cara smiled, she enjoyed talking about her husband a great deal and noticed how confused Buffy looked so she wanted to help this young couple in love, "Three years but we met five years ago at a dance club in New York. He was there with some friends but we mostly hung out in crowds off and on for the first two years. I had a girlfriend who was dating a friend of Ted's. He was too shy to say anything and I didn't feel confident enough to say anything. Want to know what brought us together?" Buffy nodded watching as Cara's eyes sparkled and she placed a hand on her stomach. Cara continued, "Well one day, Ted's friend proposed to my friend, Sara finally and they were so excited. They went home early leaving us alone. He looked over at me with a sexy smile and asked, 'Want to still go to the movie?' I of course readily agreed and next thing I knew, we were a couple. One day, we were sitting and having dinner and I looked over at him and I knew I didn't want my life to go on without him. He was smart and always there and took great care of me. I just knew that my life wasn't complete without him in it. He was my soul mate and made the world a brighter place. When he held me…" She sighed and looked dreamily towards the kitchen as she continued, "When he held me…all was right with the world. I knew at that moment, I loved him more than anything. When you can't imagine the person not in your life and your life is just complete when they are there, then you have to take the leap."

Cara then looked at Buffy with her eyes shining and whispered, "How do you feel about Spike?"

Buffy sighed, "It's complicated."

Spike yelled into the living room and then popped his head in to look at Cara then Buffy, "Ten minutes until dinner."

Spike's face lit up when he saw Buffy sitting there just talking happily with Cara. He was so thankful she was safe and sound in their house. Buffy smiled at Spike and her eyes sparkled with happiness and gratefulness to be here with Spike. Cara saw the interaction and already knew her answer but waiting patiently to see how Buffy would describe it.

Spike blew a kiss at Buffy and then went back into the kitchen. Buffy turned to Cara and sighed as she admitted, "It's complicated. See we are from two different worlds. I'm the slayer and I'm supposed to kill his kind because he's a vampire. He feeds on people like me and in fact has killed three slayers before I was even born. He has killed thousands probably millions of people and it makes things complicated."

Cara took Buffy's hands in hers and looked at her saying, "Buffy, everyone has a past. There are hundreds of teenagers who kill or steal or runaway from their families. They of course grow up, change, and become great people. How many times have you heard speeches made by people saying, 'I used to be this, but now I'm this?' Spike is changing right before your very eyes and you just have to recognize it."

Buffy didn't even question how Cara knew this when she barely knew both of them but she thought about how much she has changed since she ran away. She looked at Cara and nodded, "You have a point."

Cara smiled gently, "How do you really feel about him? Forget for a moment his past, forget for a moment your origins and what you are told to do. How do you feel about him, Buffy?"

Buffy thought for a moment and whispered, "He has saved me. He has helped me get through things I never thought I could. I'm stronger when I'm around him. He can be so sweet sometimes and it makes me melt. I don't want to go home because I don't want to leave him behind. When I was taken, all I wanted was Spike's arms holding me tight. I didn't wish I was home, didn't regret running away, but instead I only wished that Spike was there. Think that's love?"

Cara smiled and nodded, "If it's not, then it's close."

Buffy sighed, "Think he feels the same way?"

Cara laughed holding her stomach, "Oh yeah I do. He was pissed when you were taken. He even called up Ted trying to find you and was quite insistent. He loves you but I can't promise he knows it yet but he probably does."

Buffy smiled gently remembering the night he said it to her right as they fell asleep and admitted, "He said it once when we were going to sleep. I didn't reply and didn't admit I heard it."

Just then Ted came into the room helping Cara to her feet as he whispered to her, "Come on Cara, dinner is served. He made a wonderful salad and Eggplant Parmesan. It smells divine."

Then Spike came out and offered his hand to Buffy, "Hey there, cutie. Just wait until you try this!"

Buffy giggled and walked hand-in-hand with Spike to enjoy their dinner.


	28. Chapter 28: Sometimes It's Just Best

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Another great chapter betaed by Brittany!!

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Chapter 28: Sometimes It's Best to Just Let It Flow

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Buffy smiled as she sat in the living room with Spike watching a rerun of Passions. She was curled up by his side with her head resting against his chest and his arm was wrapped around her holding her tight and she was again lost in thought. 'Does he really love me? Would he want to spend forever with me? He left Dru or well I guess Dru left him. Would that happen to us? What will happen if we ever go home? I don't even want to go home but I guess it's proper for me to eventually go home. God, why are things so confusing?'

Buffy bit her lower lip as she started to think about how she really felt about Spike as she smiled feeling his fingertips gently trace circles on her arm as he continued to watch his show. 'Well I'm happy here. I'm more content than I ever knew possible. Some of that might be because I lack the pressure I had in Sunnydale. Will Spike ever pressure me like that?'

Buffy shook her head knowing she already knew the answer to that and Spike looked down at her and she smiled at him. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before continuing to watch his show. She sighed because she already knew her answer to her questions.

She snuggled in closer to him feeling him automatically tighten his grip to accommodate her and she closed her eyes against his chest letting her feelings for him flow through her mind. She remembered the first time she saw him, at the school, when her mom saved her. Then she saw him with Drusilla saving her and that memory hurt, but she also remembered seeing him walking through the graveyard at night after she had crippled him. Then she remembered him knocking down the cop who were taking her in and wondered if he knew then what he was starting. He was protecting her from the cops in a strange way.

Then since she ran away, he had been perfect. He held her every night while she slept. He comforted her through every nightmare even when she had hurt him prior to them. He made sure she was fed by fixing her food. How many people did she know who would sit and make food they didn't even need to eat just so she would eat? She knew that answer without even having to think on it. The answer was no one would but Spike. He protected her, saved her, and cared for her, even when she didn't ask for it. She's not the easiest person to get along with. She knew this and sometimes she just wants to scream from frustration at what she was feeling. Hell, she rarely understood her own feelings much less have anyone else understand them. Somehow though, with all of that, Spike always knew what she needed.

'Could I imagine my life without him?' She turned to Cara's suggestion. All she saw was darkness and fear. She saw her being alone forever and crying. She tried to remember when he wasn't there. All she could remember was pain and darkness. She never wanted to lose him. He was her equal. She let herself compare Angel and Spike for just a moment promising herself although it was wrong, it would be important.

She thought of Angel. When she thought of Angel, her thoughts were confusing, never knowing how he was feeling. She thought of mystery. When she tried to imagine a future with Angel, she couldn't. She would always be afraid of something going on or him leaving. She thought of times where she needed backup and didn't have it. She thought of her friends bailing her out when he was nowhere in sight. He had claimed he was always watching her yet he was never anywhere when she needed him. She was alone a lot and lonely. She frowned realizing, she didn't really love Angel. She loved what he represented and the mystery behind him. She never really knew him. She had no idea what he was like as a human. She had no idea how he felt about himself as a vampire. She didn't even know he was involved with Drusilla until Spike had kind of dropped her in her lap and told her. She never really knew Angel.

Then she thought of Spike. She knew he would never leave her. He would protect her. He had told her about his past. She had told him things she had never felt comfortable telling Angel. He was pretty much her best and closest friend she had. She would die for him and him for her. Would anyone else really die for her? She knew the answer was probably not. She knew he was her soul mate. He was her equal and would always have her back no matter what was needed. He would be there standing beside her not hiding in the shadows. He would be there holding her hand to make her brave, letting her cry when she needed to cry and holding her tight through the night to protect her from anything. She smiled knowing she knew her answer. She was Spike's and probably always was. She was his to kill and now his to protect. She looked up as Spike whispered, "Buffy, love, Passions is over. What would you like to do?"

Buffy smiled at him even as she was filled with excitement to what she had just figured out, "Could we talk? Could we take a walk or even sit in the garden since it's still nighttime and just talk?"

Spike nodded and took her hand to take a walk with her. Spike knew exactly where he wanted to take her. He led her to the beautiful park he had passed when he was searching for her. He sat down on the bench sideways and split his legs making room for her to lean against him, which she willingly did. She would rather be held instead of looking at his face anyway. She spoke nervously trying to calm herself, "Spike, I've been thinking about the claiming thing."

Spike said nothing and instead brought his hand up to run through her hair, an attempt to calm her fears and nerves that were radiating off of her. She closed her eyes and relaxed, "I'm ready. Well not this very second but I want to complete the claim. I just... I need to talk to you about some things first. I need you to tell me how you feel about me."

Spike took a deep breath and said in a shaky voice, "I used to want to kill you. I wanted you dead more than I've ever wanted anyone dead but I could never bring myself to do it. Dru seemed to know why before I did. I was fighting it, I guess. God, Buffy, now I don't want you dead. The thought of you dead kills me. If you were to die, I'd stake myself. I don't know how I got to this point. I don't know how this happened but I do know, I want the claim more than anything."

He turned Buffy to look at him and joined her hands with his and he squeezed them gently as he spoke with his voice almost a whisper, "When you were taken, love, I tried to use the claim to find you. It was too weak. I felt so powerless. I never want to feel like that again. I don't know why I love you but I do. I'm drowning in you."

Buffy looked at him and gasped. She knew he loved her but never heard him say it besides that one time and here he was looking into her eyes with such passion and love that overwhelmed her. She pulled him to her chest and hugged him tight, whispering, "I love you too, Spike. I love the William part of you; I love the Spike part of you. I love every part of you even the part that struggles with doing good. I know that part exists but I still love you. What will happen to us?"

Spike held her close and closed his eyes letting her words wash over him. Buffy whispered, "Can we go home?"

Spike stood up nodding and took her hand pulling her to her feet and walked her home determined to let what he was really feeling be shown in his actions while making love. She leaned against him smiling as she knew she would always have someone to lean on and to watch her back for her for the rest of her life. Spike smiled knowing he had finally found the one for him and just hoped this claim thing worked out best for both of them. He never wanted to cause her anymore pain. She's only 17 and she had experienced more pain in her life than any 17 year old deserved. Spike worshiped the ground she walked on and would willing die for her. He couldn't imagine his life without her and he knew she was the one for him.


	29. Chapter 29: Completeness

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Brittany worked hard on betaing this chapter. Enjoy!

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Chapter 29: Completeness

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Spike whispered against Buffy's ear the minute they hit their block, "I'll race you!"

Buffy laughed and took off in a fast run as Spike rounded the corner passing her. She laughed some more, "Hey, don't forget about me!"

Spike laughed and jumped back to grab her around her waist and then swing her into his arms to carry her like a baby, "No worries. I most definitely will never forget you, love."

And he raced into the house kicking the door shut behind them. He jumped the stairs, 3 at a time, reaching the top in record time before putting Buffy down on the bed. He dropped his duster next to the bed and pulled off his boots and socks before crawling up Buffy to gently remove the jacket from her arms and then kissed her gently. He slowly peeled off her shirt kissing the skin from her stomach up to her shoulder as the skin was exposed. She moaned and ran her fingers through his hair to rest at the nape of his neck twirling the hair there as he gently nibbled at her lace covered breasts before gently removing the bra and looked over her exposed top half of her body. She blushed and he whispered, "All mine. So perfect and so beautiful and soon it will be all mine. I'll take good care of you Buffy, I promise."

She smiled up at him as he lowered his head to her breast while gently kneading the other one causing her to softly moan again. His movements were slow and deliberate without any rush. He was trying to show his love for her and that is what he would do. He gently moved one hand down to rub over her stomach gently kneading the skin there before unsnapping the top of her jeans to pull them down over her legs. She had already kicked off her boots so they were brought down to her ankles where he moved his body down to be level with her feet. He pulled the pants off her legs and then pulled her socks off one by one. He then softly massaged each foot before placing tender kisses all over them including her insteps, her heels, and each toe, which he gently sucked on. Buffy heard herself moan while her body lit up, like it was on fire. He lightly kissed her ankles then her shins followed by her thighs until she was moaning like crazy. The feeling he was bringing forth was unbelievable. She had never felt so alive. It was like he knew her body better than he did.

By the time he had kissed her clit, she was going crazy with love. She wanted to return the favor so gently pushed his face back to try to return the favor. He whispered, "In a minute pet, I really just want to enjoy the taste of you." She agreed and leaned back on the bed as he brought his fingers down to open her to his gaze as he whispered, "So pink and pretty. Every part of you, love, is perfect and it's all mine." With that he licked up every drop and then used a finger to slowly enter her. He barely moved his finger and she moaned in pleasure, as she looked down at his eyes to see them so full of love.

She whispered, "Please, I want to get off with you the first time while you're inside of me. Let me love you too." Spike smiled understanding as he laid back bringing Buffy to straddle his legs to allow her time to touch him.

Buffy slowly kissed his lips, then the corners of his mouth, followed by his nose, and eyes which he closed. He groaned as she delicately sucked each ear lobe into her mouth and then kissed down his neck. He moaned in pleasure loving the feel of her warm lips on his neck and she carefully sucked his skin in and left a hickey on him to mark the spot. He allowed her a few minutes of sucking before whispering, "Buffy love, you really need to stop with my neck before it's all over before it begins."

She kissed down his shoulders to his chest gently kissing his nipples as he lifted up so she could completely remove the shirt from his chest baring it to her view. She sucked in a breath looking at it as she whispered, "You are so handsome and beautiful. You were made just for me."

She smiled as she brought her fingers up to gently rub his nipples as she continued her kissing down to his stomach gently licking his belly button as she moved one of her hands down to unsnap his jeans and undo the zipper. The sound of the zipper echoed through the room since the only other noises were Buffy's kisses and Spike's occasional groans. She gently pulled his pants down his legs like he had done to her earlier and pulled them off his feet. Since he had already removed his boots and socks, she gently kissed his feet much like he did hers. She sucked on his toes and was rewarded with, "Bloody hell, love, that feels so good."

She never realized feet were so sensitive before. She then kissed up his legs to pause at his erection. She didn't want to get him off already but really wanted to taste and kiss him. There was a pool of pre-cum already on his stomach from where his erection had been weeping from her actions so she gently licked the pool up licking her lips before licking once around his erection and placing a kiss on the end. He pulled her up and rolled so she was underneath him and whispered, "Remember how to do this, pet? You have to mimic my actions after I do it first, okay?"

Buffy nodded and smiled spreading her legs even further before whispering, "Please, I need you in me."

Spike gave her a gentle kiss and entered her. They both gasped at the feeling of being so full and complete. Spike groaned feeling like he was completely surrounded with fire and Buffy moaned feeling so full. Spike gradually started moving, with no rush to end it. Buffy kissed him with so much love and adoration that he thought he would burst with the feeling but it was not over yet. He tenderly licked at her neck picking up the pace to bring them both off at the perfect time. He was so close and she was struggling so he brought his hand down to rub her clit in time with their movements and within seconds she was pulled over the edge of an orgasm so he roared out his before sinking his fangs into the side of her neck over the same mark he had made the other night and roared, "Mine Buffy, you will always be mine."

Buffy answered, "I'm yours."

Then she bit his neck hard enough to break the skin and pulled one little sip of blood before saying, "Mine, Spike you are mine."

Spike nodded and responded, "Always yours Buffy."

With the claim completed, he pulled her close then felt an overwhelming feeling of love. He realized it at once that it was coming from Buffy. Buffy was experiencing the same thing. She gasped in shock feeling the love and feelings that Spike held for her hitting her hard. She took a sharp intake of air with the pleasure of feeling so complete and loved and couldn't resist turning around to place a huge kiss on him. She whispered against his lips, "I never dreamed it would feel like this. It's so powerful."

Spike whispered back in a hoarse voice, "It is, pet. It is. Let's sleep now if you can."

Buffy nodded feeling so complete that she was able to close her eyes and rest knowing she was finally home and safe. Spike felt the same way and closed his eyes knowing he had finally found the woman of his dreams and he would never leave her side.


	30. Chapter 30: New Found Abilities

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Last chapter for a week. Brittany betaed this chapter of course too.

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Chapter 30: New Found Abilities

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Buffy dreamed a strange dream but awoke feeling content. She felt Spike's arms around her holding her close and making her feel so safe. She had no doubt in her mind; she would live a long life as long as Spike was by her side. He would never let any harm come to her. She knew that and trusted that. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer as she heard Spike say, 'Hope she doesn't regret it this morning.'

Buffy grinned and said, 'Definitely not but you can talk to me like I'm here and awake you know.'

Spike jumped out of bed and shouted, "Bloody Hell!"

Buffy looked at him confused and her thoughts echoed out again, 'Did I do something wrong? Perhaps I hurt him. Is he okay?'

Spike held his head staring at Buffy not understanding what was happening. Buffy looked even more worried and thought, 'Did the claim hurt him? Does it do something horrible to vampires? I think I'm okay.' She said out loud, "What's wrong?"

Spike looked at her and shouted, "What's wrong? What's wrong?? I'll tell you what is bloody wrong. I can hear your thoughts. Think something Slayer. Think anything at all. Something I wouldn't bloody know otherwise."

Buffy frowned and thought, 'I wish we had a waffle machine so we could make chocolate chip waffles.'

Spike whispered, "I'll buy you a waffle machine and chocolate chips when we go out but bloody Hell! I could hear that!"

Buffy looked shocked, "Can I hear you too?"

Spike thought, 'Of course you can, pet. It's a two way claim.' Spike hadn't moved his lips but Buffy had heard his thoughts as though he was saying them out loud.

She screamed and shouted as she realized what that meant, "Oh my God so I will never be able to think anything again. Can we turn it off? Can we undo it? Damn it, I can't handle this. Do you know anyone who was claimed before?"

Spike shook his head thinking hard then he nodded, "Be right back. Well you can come too."

Buffy followed behind him as he called up someone who she didn't know. "Ransom? Yea it's me. Well I can't bloody well go see you in person can I? I'm in some little town in California. You're in California too? Well I want to know about claiming. We have some serious issues and you're the only one I can think of who might have a bloody clue about this stuff. Sure, 145 Whitting Road. We're in Patterson. Bloody Hell, you're in L.A.? We are about 3 hours from there. Sure, sure. You can meet my mate when you arrive. Sure just use the front door. There's a porch that covers it so you won't dust while we invite you in. Oh yeah. Well eat before you come or just don't eat near my Buffy. Well I'll tell you why when you get here. Sure, no mate, not Drusilla. Just leave already okay? Thanks, see you soon."

Buffy looked up at Spike who had just hung up the phone. Her mind was racing and it was giving him a headache. He whispered, "Come here pet. Let me help you relax. Your thoughts are giving me a bloody headache."

She followed him as he went into the living room and turned on the television and found some random thing to watch on television. He patted the place next to him and tried not to think anything but couldn't help it and she frowned, "This is bad isn't it? Even you think it is bad. I can hear your thoughts."

Spike sighed and pulled her down to curl up next to him and he kissed her forehead and he felt her snuggle up against him. The only thoughts he heard from her for a bit was about how comfy he was so he smiled as he relaxed and they both snuggled quietly in each other's arms, while both of their minds rested.

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They awoke to the sound of the door being pounded on. Spike jumped up bringing Buffy with him and yelled, "Come in, Ransom."

Buffy glared at Spike, "So anyone else have an invitation to our happy home?" Then she heard his voice saying, 'Dru' and she screamed at him, "Damn it why don't we just open the freaking door and let all the vampires in the world in our house. How can you keep me safe if you are letting the vampire population through our door?"

Spike took her into his arms and kissed her and her thoughts calmed down and she whispered, "That's cheating."

Spike smiled, "I'll never let anything happen to you. I'd stake Dru before she could harm you."

Buffy sighed knowing he was right and went and sat down on the sofa in the living room leaving Spike and Ransom to do whatever they wanted to do without her. She flicked through the channels as they followed her into the living room. Spike took a seat next to Buffy and she leaned against him getting comfortable while Ransom sat in the chair across the room staring at them. Ransom frowned exclaiming, "Um, dude, she's the Slayer."

Spike replied, "Well yeah. Why don't you share something I don't know already like how this claim thing works?"

Ransom frowned shaking his head slightly, "I hope you know what you're doing but okay what I've found out about claims. They are simple things really but oh so powerful. Probably the most powerful things in this world and no one knows about them nor wants to. I thought about claiming someone when I was younger. She got dusted before I could do it so I was thankful I didn't. I have to admit though, if we were mated, I'm not sure she would have died. Anyway mating, you can sense each other no matter where the other is and what they are doing. The next part is tricky. I'm guessing you guys are in love based on your movements and actions. Love claims are really powerful. You can probably hear the other's thoughts. You can learn to control that supposedly. The only couple I ever saw mated, used to turn that on and off so I'm sure with practice you guys can make that part work. You can feel the same feelings when the bond is opened. I don't know anything other than that."

Spike laughed, "You drove 3 hours to come and tell me that?"

Ransom shook his head, "Actually I drove down to see someone who lives in town. Well that wasn't the plan until you called me. When I got off the phone with you, I called the girl and we are hooking up in a bit. I'm meeting her at a club. Want to go?"

Spike frowned tempted but not tempted enough. He replied, "I think we had better work on this claim thing before going out in public. Sorry."

Ransom nodded understandingly, "When you guys get situated give me a call and we will hook up. I'm living in L.A. for a while."

Spike saluted Ransom, "Thanks mate, I really mean that, thanks."

Buffy stayed quiet but nodded to the vampire who quietly let himself out.


	31. Chapter 31: Learning to Deal

Betaed by Brittany. Enjoy!

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Chapter 31: Learning to Deal

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Buffy looked at Spike and started to cry whispering, "I'm scared Spike. What if I'm never able to be normal again?"

Spike rushed over to her side and hugged her tight carefully guiding her back to the living room. He sat down and she, without a word, curled up beside him and closed her eyes letting the feeling of calm from him overpower her feeling of panic. Spike whispered and really meant it, "We will get through this. It's just going to take practice. Ready? Let's try to see if we can sense this bond thing that Ransom was talking about. Can you try?"

Buffy nodded and kept her eyes closed as she did what Giles always had her practice by opening up her senses and mind. She felt a slight little part of her brain that was pouring thoughts from Spike. Spike smiled at her, as he was not able to hear Buffy's thoughts anymore but still felt her feelings. He whispered, "I think you are doing it, pet. How?"

Buffy smiled and thought something and heard no reply so she spoke out loud, "I closed my eyes and concentrated on my mind. I learned some relaxation techniques with Giles when I first met him. I used those to see a tiny part of my brain, which allowed thoughts to flow through. Here watch if I think hard enough I can open it again." She closed her eyes and focused and he felt her think, 'See like this. It's kind of fun. I can always talk to you even when we are in a room full of people. Just wait until we can test it out! God this so rules.'

Spike laughed and then requested, "Turn that off for a minute, pet. I want to try it." Buffy closed her mind and snuggled up against Spike waiting for his thoughts in her brain to quiet down and sure enough after about 2 full minutes, her mind was empty. Spike grinned and shouted loudly, "I think I did it!"

Buffy nodded and encouraged him, "Now reopen it."

Spike reopened it and both their thoughts flowed so Buffy offered her thoughts on how it worked, "I think it's two way. You open, so mine opens. That's fine though. I don't mind. I wonder how powerful this thing is. Oo I wonder how making love will feel. Think we can do it from different places? We should have asked your friend that. God this is so amazing!"

Buffy was all excited now. She would never be alone again. Spike watched her excitement and felt complete and whole. It was like a part of himself was finally found, the part he was missing all along and never knew it. He smiled and kissed her while thinking, 'Bloody Hell, Slayer, I love you so much.'

He gave her another kiss as he heard her answer back, 'I love you too Spike. Always and forever.'

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Spike made Buffy some steak and potatoes for dinner while making sure the potatoes had bacon and cheese on them to make Buffy happy since she had declared those were her favorite. As they sat down to eat, Buffy asked hesitantly, "Can we go back to Sunnydale? Or actually here let me do this." She opened her mind so he could see her thoughts as she tried it again, "I miss my family and I feel complete and whole again and I'm dying to try this whole claim thing and test it out a bit. I don't want to tell the others right away. I want to instead, if you agree, well… I want us to move in together like here. I want us to own our own little house. I want a pet too if you don't mind. I've never had a pet but if you don't want one I understand. I just I love you and want to be with you but I think I'm ready to face Sunnydale."

Spike studied her for a moment and replied, "Ok."

Buffy whispered softly then, "If I'm not ready, will you bring me back here?"

Spike smiled at her and responded, "Anytime you want to run away, I'll gladly escort you."

Buffy reached across the table to hold his hand in hers as she whispered, "Two more days here. Then we will see about moving back. Spike… Do you know anyone we can call or talk to about getting a place lined up before we return? I just didn't want us to be stuck."

Spike replied calmly, "I think we should head back and give your mom a chance to help with the decision before we sign a lease or something."

Buffy nodded and calmly enjoyed her steak and potatoes as she smiled at him, "I didn't know vampires could really enjoy their food but you do. I can feel it."

Spike chuckled, "Good food is great."

Buffy grinned and finished off her plate then eagerly announced, "Bed time?"

Spike laughed shaking her head at her eagerness, "Let me clean up first and then we will head to bed."

Buffy nodded and watched as he carried the dishes into the kitchen and she put them into the dishwasher and set it to run overnight. He then lifted her into his arms and bounced up the stairs to make sweet love to her.

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Spike woke up with Buffy in his arms and held her a little tighter. She had said before bed that when they woke up, they would pack up and head out. Spike was to call up Ted and Cara and let them know their plans. Spike sighed realizing he should do that soon. The sun had already set. He carefully laid Buffy down in his spot as she snuggled in trying to find him but finally gave up and continued to sleep. He slipped into his pants and quietly went downstairs. He threw in the last load of laundry they would do at the house. He smiled as he put Buffy's clothes in with his. It felt so right to be doing domestic things like that. He then called up Ted. Ted seemed sad to see them go but promised the house would always be open to them even if just for vacations. Spike made a promise to let Ted know of their new address so they can come to visit with the new baby that was due any day now. He also said to tell Cara thank you for the talk to Buffy and that they were now officially mated. Both Ted and Cara were delighted and Ted promised to call if they give him a number to reach them at, when the baby is due. It was a sad conversation but Spike felt better letting them know.

He then sadly went about packing up a few items into the cooler to bring home with them. He left the ice cream but took the leftover potatoes for Buffy to munch on while they drove. He took a few sodas, and the bags of blood that were left. He also packed up their bathroom items into his bag along with some of their clothes and started to pack Buffy's as well. He decided to leave the items they had bought for the house in it so that they can indeed return for vacations. He then went to wake up Buffy. He crawled into bed next to her and she snuggled up to him whispering, "Spike?"

Spike gave her a gentle kiss, "I need to know if you want anything else packed. I packed our clothes, some food, our shower items, but I'm thinking of leaving the rest here in case we return."

Buffy nodded, "I agree. You have money to replace the stuff for the new house right?"

Spike nodded, "I already told Ted and Cara bye for you. I promised we would let them know where we settled so they can call and visit. Cara is due any day now."

Buffy smiled, "Did you leave me any clothes for today?"

Spike grinned, "Of course. Tan pants, blue top although I preferred the red. I did our laundry too so you could change it up if you want. Left out your tan boots as well so that you match."

Buffy smiled as she sat up announcing with a slight sigh, "You're too good to me. I guess this is our day to be brave and face the world. You promise you will bring me back here if things go badly, right?"

Spike nodded with a promise, "This place will be ready and waiting for our return if we need it, love. I promise."

Buffy got up and got dressed quickly and took one last look at the house, "I'm really going to miss this place." Spike sadly patted Buffy's shoulder in an effort to comfort them both. They were both feeling sad but knew they couldn't run forever, "We will be back someday. I'm sure."

Buffy took his hand and together they walked out of the house since Spike had already packed up the car. They climbed into the car and started back to Sunnydale.


	32. Chapter 32: Things are Never the Same

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**Chapter 32: Things are Never the Same as When You Left Them

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Spike knocked over the welcome to Sunnydale sign while Buffy yelled at him for ruining public property. Spike laughed saying he always did such things. Buffy shook her head but figured it was harmless enough. He quietly pulled through town and she recognized the street her house was on. It was dark inside so she stepped inside with Spike following her since he didn't need an invite anymore and they went up to her room. Buffy pulled down the shades and curtains to be ready in the morning so Spike wouldn't turn to dust and they quietly climbed the stairs. Joyce was sleeping so Buffy decided not to bother her so they climbed into Buffy's little bed which had been freshly changed and made in the month since she left.

Spike smiled at her young looking room as Buffy threw a blanket over the window to be extra sure they would be safe and she snuggled with the remaining blanket knowing Spike would keep her comfortable. She closed her eyes and opened her mind to say, 'Night night Spike. Love you.'

He replied in his mind as well, 'Night my love, sweet dreams. Love you too.'

And with that they closed their eyes.

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Buffy awoke to her mother screaming having found Spike and Buffy sleeping in her bed together. They were still dressed from the night before having been so tired they didn't bother to get changed. Buffy stood up and shouted, "Surprise?"

Joyce screamed at Buffy, "You leave me for a month, then sneak into my house only to sleep with Spike? It's bad enough you slept with Angel, now another guy? Are you at least being safe?"

Spike spoke up, "I'm kind of dead Joyce. The dead can't father children."

Joyce blinked, thrown by his comment, "I forgot. What is going on with you two though?"

Spike replied, "I found Buffy, took care of her until she was ready to come home so I brought her home safe and sound."

Buffy threw herself at her mother and gave her a big hug and Joyce smiled at Buffy as a few tears fell being so thankful her daughter was safe. She smiled at Spike and stated in a serious tone, "I'm still unhappy you took advantage of my daughter. We will need to talk."

Buffy nodded eager to not have that conversation, "Can we shower first? I haven't had a shower for over a day and I need some fresh clothes and Spike can you bring our bags from the staircase up so we have clothes to change into after our shower."

Joyce frowned, "Together?"

Buffy frowned as well and asked further digging her grave, "Is it okay? We have done it before."

Joyce sighed and just turned and walked down the stairs handing Spike their bags demanding, "We will need to talk when you are finished."

Buffy and Spike went into the shower deciding to just make it a fast one instead of a sex filled one. Spike washed Buffy's hair while massaging her scalp, which helped to relax her, but she washed herself so that he wouldn't be tempted. Buffy returned the favor on Spike's hair but couldn't resist placing a kiss on the top of his erection whispering, "If you're quiet we can take care of you so it's not awkward."

Spike nodded and Buffy closed her eyes and opened the bond while carefully lowering her head onto his erection. Spike hissed but didn't groan as she carefully and quickly pumped his erection with her head, sucked and nibbled on his erection with her mouth and fondled his balls with her other hand. She didn't have to wait long before he was orgasming into her mouth. She kissed him softly as he washed himself clean and he whispered into the bond, 'Thank you pet. I'll feel better now.'

Buffy kissed him again and nodded as she thought back, 'Anytime my darling, anytime.'

They quickly climbed out of the shower and dried each off and quickly got dressed. Spike did take a few minutes to brush Buffy's hair for her but she left it down so he didn't have to fix it. Spike took her hand for support, 'Leave the bond open, pet. I need to know when you need me to talk and when you are okay. Plus I really need to know what you are feeling to make sure you're okay.'

Buffy nodded fully agreeing with him. She needed his strength and support and calmness through the bond to make these explanations go smoothly.

Joyce was sitting in the large chair holding a hot cocoa and on the table in front of the sofa stood two hot cocoas for each of them, steaming hot. Spike spoke gently, "Thank you Joyce for the cocoa. You make a mighty fine cup of cocoa."

Buffy smiled agreeing, "Yes thank you." Then she thought to Spike, 'Don't mention our abilities to talk to each other in our brains. I want that kept a secret from everyone if that's okay.'

Spike thought back, 'I totally agree. They would try even harder to break us up if they knew I could read your thoughts and you mind. They would be jealous.'

Joyce began by saying, "So where were you young lady?"

Buffy replied, "L.A. for a while. I got a job at a diner and took care of myself. Even had a cat and an apartment by the time Spike here found me. There was a lost girl there. She was around my age that needed a job and a place to stay. I gave her my job and the apartment so that she could live. I wanted to help her. Also saved my boss's little girl from a kidnapper. He gave me a nice bonus at the end of the week for helping him which allowed Spike and I to leave Kim behind and we went to another town."

She thought towards Spike, 'It's best not to mention the town so we can use it if we have to.'

Spike agreed and said, 'Understand and agree.'

So Buffy continued, "We met up with a guy who gave us a house to stay in after we stayed in a hotel for two days. I got attacked during those two days and almost died. Spike here saved me." Joyce smiled gratefully towards Spike and Buffy still continued, "Spike took care of me until I was better and like I said we found a house to stay in. It was beautiful. It had a nice garden, a front porch and a little bench in the garden. Reminded me of home and you. Are you still mad at me, Mommy?"

Joyce's heart broke as she shook her head, "I am not mad at you. I missed you while you were gone. That's why I asked Spike to find you and take care of you."

Buffy nodded and squeezed Spike's hand tighter. Joyce asked curious, "Um how did you and Spike end up together and did you really run away because of me?"

Buffy shook her head, "I couldn't come home. I had to kill Angel, Mom. He was a vampire and was killing people. He's the one who killed Jenny, you remember the teacher that Giles was with? Well I had to kill him. It hurt like crazy and I couldn't stay here and pretend it was okay. Besides you told me I couldn't come home and I had nowhere really to go to get away. I'd like to stay if you would let me but Spike has to stay here too."

Joyce frowned, "Why does Spike have to stay here too? Doesn't he have any place to stay?"

Spike shook his head, "I was living with Angel and Drusilla. You already knew Drusilla left me, and Angel is now dead."

Joyce sighed, "You can stay in the guest room and I'll think on whether or not you can stay in Buffy's room. It's the best I can offer."

Spike nodded and Buffy thought, 'You can always sneak in while she's sleeping.'

Spike replied, 'I respect Joyce too much to do that but we will see what we can do.'

Buffy said, "After Spike saved me, we started to live together and depend on each other. Some demon hunters kidnapped me and he saved me again. That's when I realized I love him, Mom. You can understand right? I really truly love him"

Joyce nodded noticing on both of their faces were looks of love. She sighed realizing things have changed but she asked, "Is there anything else I should know?"

Spike nudged Buffy thinking, 'You should tell her about the claim and be honest.'

Buffy looked at Joyce and nodded, "One more thing. I have to explain it to you though. Well I'll let Spike actually."

Spike chuckled and then took over the explanations, "Buffy and I are mated. It's like married only permanent. Now don't freak out. Let me explain what it can let me do. It allows me to find your daughter wherever she might be. She could be in Hong Kong and I could still find her and bring her home safe. The mark on her, also tells others she belongs to me. It won't totally save her but it might stop a few fledglings from taking a bite out of her while she patrols. It also means I'll protect your daughter until the day I dust. She's mine and I'll care for her as I would myself and probably even better than that. I love your daughter, Joyce and I'll always care for her. I'll keep her safe and make her life good as long as I possibly can. If she dies, I'll die too. It's the way things work."

Joyce didn't say anything and then began to cry. Buffy rushed over to her mother's side and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Joyce cried harder, "I lost my little girl. She's all grown up and I didn't even get to throw her a wedding."

Spike thought about that for a moment and felt really bad so her offered, "We can get married traditionally still Joyce. I'd have to get some papers and stuff to make it legal. I always meant to get papers but I never settled down long enough to get any. I plan to stay with your daughter so I'll get papers and make us legally married if that's okay with you."

Joyce smiled and pulled Spike in for a hug as well.


	33. Chapter 33: Intervention

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* * *

**Chapter 33: Intervention

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Just when Buffy and Spike sat down on the couch together when Joyce took their mugs to the kitchen, the door swung open and Willow, Xander and Giles were there and all at once they shouted, "Buffy you are back and okay!"

Buffy smiled slightly still nervous around her friends. Xander shouted, "Why are you holding the undead's hand? Didn't you kill Angel and why are you holding another vampire's hand? Didn't you learn the first time?"

Willow elbowed Xander and shouted, "Buffy you're home!"

Willow ran over giving her friend a big hug. Giles looked at Buffy and instead of greeting her demanded, "Where were you all this time? We were worried."

Buffy replied calmly, "L.A. We were living in a house that we had kept up for a guy. It was a nice house. I decided it was time to come home because I was feeling better."

Giles cleared his throat, "Feeling better from what exactly?"

Buffy shuddered and Spike gave her hand a squeeze thinking, 'Best get it out of the way, pet.'

Buffy sat a little straighter but then leaned against Spike, "I had to kill Angel. A few seconds before he died, he got his soul back. The damage was already done and the demon thing was opened so I had to kill him. I couldn't take it, so I left. Spike saved me and took care of me. He was good to me and we are together."

Willow, Xander and Giles stood looking at Buffy not knowing what to think. Giles finally spoke up, "I need you to come with me. I have something I have to go over with you about the demon so we can get it all sealed up and make it never return. I'll return you home soon."

Buffy looked at Spike, "You stay here, I'll be back soon."

Spike thought, 'I'll close this for now but reopen it if you need it. I just really need a nap. I'm so tired still from driving yesterday.'

Buffy nodded in Spike's direction releasing his hand and followed Giles out into the daylight where Spike couldn't follow. Spike sat with Joyce for a few minutes. They talked a bit about _Passions _and then about his feelings for Buffy. He stated, "I really love your daughter, Joyce. I know I'm not what you would have wanted for her. She's so full of life and I'm not. She's young and has her whole life ahead of her and I've already lived a really long one. I've killed people to feed but I haven't done that in over a month now. I'm on bagged only and I'm only taking the stuff they are about to throw out. So it's not like I'm hurting anyone. I just really love your daughter and what's more important is I can protect her."

Joyce let the tears fall from her eyes as she whispered, "Every night Buffy goes out into the world to kill vampires and comes back bloody and I can't even protect her from it. How good of a mother am I when I can't even protect my own daughter?"

Spike knelt down in front of Joyce and took her hands in his and said, "I'll protect her, Joyce. With everything I am and can, I'll protect her. I'll see to it that she lives a beautiful long life. If she wants kids, Hell I'll see to it that we have a good enough life to adopt. I have plenty of money, Joyce. She would never have to work if she doesn't want to but I want her to finish school and have the opportunity if she wants. I can't give her normal but I can protect her un-normal life. Please let me do that for you. We can live here under your roof so you can spend time with her anytime you want."

Joyce smiled at him, "You really do love my daughter, don't you?"

Spike looked helpless as he nodded, "Completely and utterly, Joyce."

Joyce nodded with a gentle smile, accepting Spike into the family, "Call me Mom."

Spike smiled and then he yawned and Joyce gestured towards the stairs, "You can go into Buffy's room for now and sleep. I'm sure she will wake you up when she gets home."

Spike nodded and climbed the stairs to go to sleep taking a whiff of the bed and snuggling into the covers that smelt of Buffy hoping she would get home soon.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Buffy was sitting with Giles on the couch when suddenly she heard a click and noticed around her wrist, Xander had placed a chain. Before Buffy could react, another was placed on the other wrist after being wrapped around a metal knob on the floor she had never noticed before. She looked at Willow, Giles and Xander questionably. Giles looked undisturbed, "We want answers about Spike. You have a claim mark on your neck. Are you mated with William the Bloody? We want the truth or we can't help you."

Buffy sighed and responded, "Yes, we are mated. It's a two-way claim that we both accepted and therefore nothing can break it. Are these chains really necessary? I would have answered you without being chained up like some kind of animal."

Xander got mad shouting, "Damn it, Buffy. I hated Angel and look what he did. He killed Jenny and tried to kill us all and also tried to end the world. Spike tried to murder us all. How can you excuse this and choose to mate with him? Aren't you human?"

Giles said to Xander, "That's enough. This isn't helping anyone."

He turned towards Willow, "Bring me the book upstairs on my bed that arrived in the mail today. I think we can undo this."

Buffy cried, "I don't want anything undone. Leave me alone. Please!"

Buffy opened the claim bond in a hurry thinking, 'They want to undo this. I'm chained in Giles's house and I'm stuck and it's daylight and you can't come here. Spike, Spike wake up!'

Buffy didn't know that you couldn't use the claim bond on a sleeping person. She sighed and kicked the sofa over in a rage, "Just let me go. I'm going to be just fine. Spike will take care of me. He's going to be pissed when he finds out you won't let me go home."

Buffy yelled into the claim, 'Spike wake up! There has to be a way to wake you up.' She closed her eyes concentrating really hard and found herself in his dreaming state. He was dreaming of her and she tried to alter the dream. After a few minutes of working hard at it she was able to alter her dream self to say, "Wake up Spike, I need you."

Next thing she knew she heard him frantically speaking in a panicked tone into the claim, 'Are you okay, Buffy? I just dreamt something was wrong.'

Buffy shook her head, 'No it's not okay, I've been kidnapped or something. They want to undo this.'

Spike sent calming motions over to her, 'They can't undo it so don't worry about it. Just go along with what they say and I'll come get you in an hour when the sun goes down.'

Buffy replied, 'You sure it can't be undone? Giles is going through witchcraft books!'

Just then Xander came bolting down the stairs, "I'm going to end this once and for all, I'm going to stake Spike and then she won't be mated to him because he'll be dead."

Buffy yelled after him, "But I'll die too."

Xander ignored her and rushed to Joyce's house taking his car. Buffy thought to Spike, 'Xander's coming after you and you have to hide or something. It's daylight but he took a stake!'

Spike chuckled and then thought, 'You are worried about me against the whelp? Relax, I'll just go wake up Joyce and she can help me talk to him.'

Buffy shook her head, 'Talking won't work with Xander.'

Spike sighed, 'You relax because you got 45 minutes left. I won't hurt Xander; just will not let him hurt Joyce or me. See you soon love.'


	34. Chapter 34: Family Ties

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Chapter 34: Family Ties

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Spike had rushed downstairs roaring about Buffy being in danger and about how Xander was invading the house. Joyce watched him as he stood in the living room posed for a fight. Sure enough Xander slammed open the door and walked over to Spike and punched him. Spike stared at him not wanting to hurt the whelp but instead asked, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

Xander stated back, "Saving Buffy!"

Spike glared at the whelp, "Been there, done that. She's already rescued now go home and release Buffy on your way back."

Xander whipped out a stake and went to throw himself at Spike but Joyce came into the room yelling, "Get out of my house, Xander. You are no longer welcome here."

Xander turned towards Joyce surprised, "You're okay with this claiming thing with Buffy and Spike?"

Joyce nodded, "He loves my daughter and my daughter loves him. He'll take good care of her and if not then I'll stake him myself."

Spike didn't have the nerve to tell her that staking him would only lead to Buffy's death.

Xander yelled towards Joyce, "But he's a killer!"

Joyce shrugged calmly replying to Xander, "Everyone changes and he's changed for my daughter."

Xander practically pleaded with Joyce, "He has no soul!"

Spike responded, "Souls are overrated. You have one and just look at what you are willing to do. Hitler had one and he was willing to kill off thousands of Jews. So get past this whole soul thing and move on to bigger and better things. Just let this go Xander. It's not your fight and it doesn't affect you."

Xander threw another punch at Spike hitting him in the nose and Spike backed off, "I'm warning you whelp, leave this alone."

Xander retorted back, "Or what? You will eat me? Drain me until I'm dead? Isn't that what you vampires do? If you attack me Buffy wouldn't ever forgive you."

Spike yelled back loudly, "Wasn't planning to hurt you, boy. If I were, you would have been dead by now. Fastest way to get dead in this world right now is to threaten Buffy or myself or Joyce. So back off boy!"

Xander screamed, "But she's supposed to be dating men not vampires!"

Joyce looked horrified, "Spike is a man. He might not be human but he's still a man. Now get out of my house before I call the cops."

Xander looked shocked at Joyce and tried one more thing, "He helped Angel to end the world you know, him and his skanky girlfriend."

Joyce put her hands on her hips and shook her head looking at Spike as though he were her little boy, "Actually, no. While you guys were doing whatever it was you were doing without my daughter, he was risking his life to stop Angel. He was in my house in the living room offering Buffy help. Did any of you go after her when she ran away? Did any of you support her through killing Angel? Hell, did you even say you were sorry she had to go through so much pain like good friends do? No you kidnapped my daughter, and are keeping her from me and her 'mate'?"

She looked towards Spike and he nodded that she used the right word so she continued, "You are keeping her from me and her mate who love her enough to search high and low to find her and bring her home. So leave my family alone!"'

Xander pleaded with Joyce, "Just let me stake Spike. Then you can have your daughter back."

Joyce stood in front of Spike, "You won't be staking anyone in my house. He's family now. You aren't. So leave."

Xander decided to back off because he couldn't hurt Joyce. She would be protecting Spike it appeared so he stalked out of the house hoping Giles found another way to fix this since Captain Peroxide seemed to be off limits for the minute.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Buffy was so tired. She wanted Spike to hold her so she could sleep. Just another 30 minutes and Spike could come save her. Of course Spike couldn't get into Giles's house but she didn't want to think about that. She just wanted Spike. She sighed as Giles read another spell at her. This was growing tiresome. She stated again, "It's unbreakable and I'm happy. Bonds can't be broken. Get over it people!"

Giles tried reading another spell at Buffy but again nothing happened. Willow frowned saying out loud, "You think it is really unbreakable."

Giles sighed, "I'm beginning to think that is the case."

Buffy growled, "Just let me go. I'm hungry, tired and I want Spike."

Giles flipped a few pages reading another spell. Then the door flew open to show Xander and Buffy glared at him as she stated quite angry, "I hope you didn't hurt him. I know he's alive. I can still feel him but please tell me you didn't hurt him."

She opened the bond he had closed earlier and felt a wave of relief that he was just talking to Joyce and seemed happy enough. She thought, 'Love you Spike. We have only 5 minutes left.'

Spike replied, 'Actually Joyce is heading over there now to put a stop to this so I don't have to. She protected me from Xander. You would have been proud of her.'

Buffy smiled, "We will have a visitor soon."

Xander shrugged, "The royal undead can't get in here without an invitation."

Buffy nodded and then the doorbell rang and Giles opened the door to find Joyce standing there with her hands on her hips stating, "I want my daughter now. Spike misses her and so do I."

Giles stuttered removing his glasses, "She's not well."

Joyce yelled, "She's my daughter and she's healthy as can be. Now give her to me." Joyce pushed Giles aside and stormed into the room to find her daughter chained to the floor. She was pissed, "Unchain her and I won't press charges."

Giles motioned to Xander who unchained her. Buffy sighed in relief and gave her mom a big hug then sent to Spike, 'I'm free. I'll be home soon.'

Spike sent back, 'I'll be waiting for you, Cutie. You're okay right?'

Buffy replied, 'Yea, they are just stupid people who are jealous or something.'

Spike didn't say a word and instead went into the kitchen to find something to fix for his new family for dinner.


	35. Chapter 35: Found

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* * *

**Chapter 35: Found

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Joyce stood in Giles's living room giving the three capturers a lecture. She had lost her daughter and now had gotten her back. She was pissed, "Buffy belongs home with Spike and I. We are a family. Spike loves her and is willing to care for her always even when I'm not here. He helped her through some tough times that she didn't even trust us to help her with. I can see why. I told her to leave when she needed me the most and you guys acted like this. You blame her for things going wrong, you blame her when she can't do everything perfect. She's still a 17-year-old girl who does things I can't even imagine. How were you guys handling the work she does without her?" Willow looked down at her feet and whispered, "There were four of us and we still weren't killing all the vampires."

Joyce nodded, "Well Buffy handles this all, is a good daughter and a good student. She does the best she can and now she will have support. So when Buffy has a paper due, she can have Spike help her. When Buffy gets hurt while on patrol, she will have someone who can pick her up and carry her home while killing whatever it is that hurt her. He would die for her and would die protecting her. Can any of you say you would do that?"

Giles wiped his glasses, while Willow shuffled her feet and Xander kept his head down not looking at anyone feeling very ashamed. Buffy frowned as she whispered quietly, "Don't I deserve happiness and a chance to love?" Xander started to talk but Buffy cut him off, "I have a right to choose who I love. Willow, you are with a werewolf. Don't get me wrong, Oz is great but that wolf lives in him dormant every day but is in complete control three nights out of the month. Yet I help you and support you. I've never once planned to kill Oz and in fact even protected him against others who tried to kill him. Don't I deserve the same respect? And you, Xander you are with someone who you claimed to hate. She's high and mighty, insults everyone around her. She makes fun of others and is shallow. She hurts people's feelings, judges them causing tears, and makes them feel like they are not worth living in this world. Yet you date her and do any of us try to stop you? Do any of us chain you to a freaking floor and demand you stop loving her? No of course not. Friends don't act that way. I had to kill my boyfriend, I had to watch him kill people, and I've had to save the world. Hell, I died saving the world and this is the thanks my friends give me? With friends like this, who needs enemies…"

She then turned to Giles, "You are like a father to me so I'll excuse this but please understand Spike is my mate and I want him. I need someone to protect me and who is my equal. He is both." Buffy then turned to Joyce, "Dinner will be done in 20 minutes. We'd better hurry home." Everyone looked at Buffy wondering how she knew that and watched as she walked out of the door with Joyce.

Joyce looked at her while walking together home, "How do you know about dinner?"

Buffy shrugged as she admitted, "We have telepathy. It helps us find each other no matter where we are, and helps us protect each other."

Joyce looked amazed, "So you guys can talk to each other without being near each other and without saying a word?" Buffy nodded. Joyce whispered, "Amazing."

Buffy nodded in agreement, "Now you know all we know. I don't think I'll be telling my so called friends that."

Joyce shrugged, "Personally I think it's great."

Buffy nodded and then seeing the house close by she rushed through the door and within seconds she was being felt down and held, "You're okay. I got you, you're okay now."

Buffy nodded and asked, "15 minutes left? It smells delicious. Do I have enough time for another shower? I feel gross after being held there so long."

Spike nodded, "Make it fast, pet."

Buffy smiled at him giving him another hug and ran up the stairs to shower. Joyce smiled, "You cook? You eat food? I thought you ate blood which is why my bottom shelf is full of bagged blood."

Spike replied, "I do eat food, drink blood and can cook. Also can do basic housecleaning skills, and cut the lawn at night just not during the day."

Joyce smiled and made a decision there and then, "Welcome to the family, Spike. You have earned the trust of me and therefore you may be with my Buffy. I only ask you marry her properly."

Spike smiled and said, "Of course I will Joyce but let me ask her so it's a surprise."

Joyce grinned liking the feel of young love in the house.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they were all sitting around the kitchen table digging into delicious green peppers and homemade corn muffins. Joyce commented Spike, "These are delicious. Can you make many things?"

Spike chuckled, "I used to watch the cooking channel sometimes when I was bored in my crypt. I had nothing better to do so I took up cooking as a hobby when I was alone."

Joyce smiled, "Well anytime you'd like to cook, you are welcome to it."

Buffy quietly continued to eat her pepper. Usually she didn't like green peppers but he had it stuffed with tomatoes, rice, cheese and beef. It tasted dreamy.

Joyce turned towards Buffy, "I'm letting Spike stay and live with us. But I have one thing I need as an agreement from you."

Buffy looked up at her mom curiously as Joyce continued, "Well two things actually. First I want you to finish high school and think about college. Spike and I both agree we want you to have the opportunity to hold a great job someday and he told me he graduated from Oxford so he can surely help you if you need the help. I never got the opportunity to go to college but I want you to someday, Buffy. The second is more for my sanity than anything else. I want you to promise me you will always take Spike with you while patrolling. I'd sleep better knowing if you were sneaking out to kill whatever it is you kill, that you at least had Spike by your side in case something went bad."

Buffy smiled at her mom, "Ok on both conditions. But I have a question for you. Can we sleep together?"

Spike and Buffy both looked at Joyce curiously and Joyce sighed knowing her daughter was growing up, "One rule, if I hear it, it stops."

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and then nodded agreeing to the rule. It seems as though everyone had found their home and they would be a family after all. Buffy had found her reason for living and a way to survive. Spike had found the family he had always wanted along with a mate who loved him as much as he loved her. Joyce had found her daughter and now found her daughter the perfect guy so she would never have to worry about her again.


	36. Epilogue

OK we have finally reached the end. I'd like to thank my faithful readers for sticking by me. I'd like to take a minute to thank my wonderful beta Brittany for being patient and diligent throughout the story. I hope you enjoyed this and will check out my other stories!!

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Epilogue: The Future

* * *

It had been a year and half since the day Joyce had accepted Spike and Buffy into her family. Buffy smiled letting Anya fix her hair as she looked out over the white gazebo in the backyard that Xander had built for this occasion. The white chairs were all lined up and people were already arriving. Buffy didn't feel nervous at all and she felt her mate think towards her, 'Xander is driving me bonkers in here. Can't he go up there and help you, Willow and Anya?'

Buffy laughed, 'No. I'm only half dressed and besides isn't Oz playing referee?'

Spike chuckled, 'Wolf boy is trying his hardest but Xander is really nervous. He's thinking of proposing to Anya and this is reminding him of what the big day would be like for him. I'll leave you to get ready though. Love you Buffy. Soon you will be legally mine.'

Buffy sent back, 'Love you too Spike. Just under an hour or so left. See you soon.'

Willow gasped at Buffy, "You can't be talking to Spike. It's your wedding day! Isn't that taboo? It's like seeing the bride or something. It's totally bad luck!"

Buffy laughed rationalizing her taboo action, "He's not seeing me. He was only complaining that Xander was driving him bonkers with nerves."

Anya smiled curling the last of Buffy's hair, "I think he just needs more orgasms. Perhaps he plans to ask to spend forever having them. Imagine sex every day for the rest of your life with the man you love." Anya sighed happily, "No wonder you mortals get so happy around weddings."

Buffy and Willow shook their heads. Buffy thought back over the last year or so of her life. Less than 2 years ago she was crying bitterly over killing Angel thinking her life was over and now she was sitting down in her wedding dress in her bedroom surrounded by her bridesmaids and getting married in less than an hour. Life was perfect.

_Buffy walked home holding Spike's hand after graduating from high school all happy and chipper. Xander and Anya were holding hands __as well__. _

_Anya was a vengeance demon who had granted a spell for Cordelia when Xander and Cordy had broken up. Xander had fallen in love with the girl when she lost her powers. Xander had come around shortly after that point realizing that if he could fall in love with an ex-vengeance demon then perhaps Spike and Buffy's relationship wasn't so bad after all. _

_Oz had his arm swung around Willow's neck and Willow was carrying both of their diplomas. Willow and Oz had mated a few months after Buffy's return to Sunnydale. Willow and Oz's bond was just as strong as Buffy and she felt amazingly happy. Joyce and Giles followed behind them chattering away. They had recently started seeing each other since Buffy had spent so much time training with Giles. This meant that Buffy could spend time with both important parental figures at the same time. It made the most sense plus Giles and Joyce got along great. _

_As they entered the door, Spike rushed to Buffy's side, "Close your eyes, love." _

_Buffy didn't question and __closed__ her eyes. Spike took her hands in his and everyone else ran downstairs in the basement knowing what Spike was going to show her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her down the stairs to the basement for the surprise. Buffy didn't say anything and kept her eyes closed as asked. Finally he reached the bottom of the stairs and whispered, "Open your eyes, Buffy." _

_She did and saw an amazing apartment instead of just her normal basement. There was a living room set up with leather furniture. The walls were paneled and it led into a small kitchenette. Then along the back wall were a large closet and a bathroom, which was fit under the stairs perfectly. On the other side of the stairs was a large bedroom with a king size bed, two dressers, two big closets and a trunk for her weapons. Then it had a solid wooden door that lead into the laundry area that was shared with Joyce. Buffy's jaw dropped open and she smothered Spike with kisses repeating over and over again, "It's perfect!" _

_She then turned to her friends, "Did you guys help?" _

_Xander stood proudly, "Spike and I mostly built it, Oz painted it. Willow and Anya decorated it. Giles helped make a few pieces of the furniture and your mom did the details such as pictures on the walls, bedding on the bed and stuff like that. It was a total team effort." _

_Spike stood Buffy up and she gave each friend a hug overwhelmed as she whispered, "But when did you guys have time?" _

_Xander grinned proudly, "Little by little. We actually started it about 9 months ago when you first returned. While you patrolled, we would all come down here and work. Then Spike would work with Joyce during the day while we were at school. Then sometimes while you would train, Spike would work with the rest of us. It was really a joint effort." _

_Buffy cried tears of joy because they really belonged._

Anya stood back with Willow to look at their work and saw before them someone beautiful. Buffy's hair cascaded around her face framing her tan face that had just a touch of makeup. She had a white ribbon in her hair to hold back some of it from her face. She had on a simple white silk dress that was a-line. It showed off her curves and had no silly frilly things on it. It was long and covered even her feet but her toes poked out that had been painted white like her finger nails with a touch of pearling that Anya had done. Anya had picked up tons of ways to do hair, nails and to pamper herself over her years as a vengeance demon. She was very helpful in times such as these. On Buffy's feet were little white-heeled sandals. They were comfortable and perfect.

The door opened and Willow and Anya stepped in front of it before realizing it was just Joyce. She snapped a picture of Willow and Anya in their purple dresses. Their dresses were the color of irises, which was the flower that Buffy had chosen. They were a simple silk as well and showed off their figures nicely. Anya had curled Willow's hair and the red really brought out her eyes that were sparkling with happiness for Buffy. Anya had curled her own hair but pulled it up off her neck saying that it would bother her if she left it down. She had tiny irises in her hair and she reached over and lifted one off the bouquets Spike had left for her to make her smile since he had to leave her bed at midnight last night before Joyce dusted him for breaking the traditions. Anya placed a white iris in Buffy's hair then shared a purple with Willow so they all had irises in their hair.

Joyce cooed over their outfits. She looked perfect herself and Anya put a pink iris in her hair to match her pink dress. Joyce said, "Pose for a group picture!"

She took a picture of the three of them standing together and wiped her eyes as tears fell.

Buffy smiled and hugged her mom tight, "We aren't moving away. We are still living in the basement. We are only leaving for a week to visit the house we used to live in. Ted and Cara said it was all ready for us. I can't wait to see their kids!"

Willow smiled seeing how happy her best friend was and Anya smiled informing the others, "I think it's time girls."

With that they went downstairs for the ceremony.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

The ceremony was short and sweet. It was held at nighttime in the moonlight spotlighted by candlelight. Spike and Buffy were declared husband and wife and were immediately kissing.

They had to be pried apart by their friends to even start the reception part of the wedding. The cake was cut and Spike had carefully fed it to his Buffy and she did the same determined not to ruin their outfits. Willow gave the most beautiful of speeches, "Buffy and Spike returned to us together and we tried to break them apart. Since their love was so strong, we couldn't. I hope that Oz and I are as strong as they are and I wish them all the happiness in the world. You are my best friend Buffy and always will be. Good luck in the future."

Oz gave a simpler speech, "Thanks for asking me to be your best man, mate. We have to stick together. I wish you happiness but I won't wish you luck, because you two don't need luck. Luck brought you together and love will keep you together."

Now Buffy lay in bed next to her husband and mate. He was her life and her soul mate. Spike leaned over and gave her a kiss whispering, "How do you feel, wife?"

Buffy replied, "I was lost but now I'm found. Thank you for finding me Spike."

Spike smiled and kissed her again then promised gently, "I'll always find you my love. Always. You will never be lost again."

The End!


End file.
